FIFTEEN

Daniel Addas









"Why didn't your mother leave you alive, you think?" Zoe asks me.
She's managed to fit herself into the curve of my side. She cups a hand over my cheek and guides my lips to hers.
She's not dead.
Obviously.
But I had hoped I'd never get to see her alive again. But fate is a cruel bitch.
Zoe woke up minutes after I'd knocked her unconscious. Next time I'll have to tighten my choke hold on her.
Maybe she's a cat. But even they run out of lives...
Eventually.
I'm a jerk, and have been one ever since I can remember. I want you to know that I'm aware of that.
I clear my throat before I speak. If she won't mention her near death experience, then neither will I.
"Her primary motivation, of course, was remorse. I think deep down she knew she drove him to take his life, and she saw no other way. With dad gone I had no decent future."
"Did the Addas adopt you?"
"Yeah. Something like that." I grimace. "Ahd's son with Zayed was named Daniel so..." Her eyes slid back to mine, still tight. "They've been with me since I lost my family."
She peers at the date of their passing. My parents died on the same day, the nineteenth of October and 'Bradley' died four days later. She shakes her head with an expression I read as pity.
Oh hell! I flip her a finger in my head.
I shift my gaze towards her again for a good few seconds.
She holds my stare then closes her eyes for a moment. I realise that if I don't want her to go to the police with this then I have to be the loving, caring boyfriend, at least, until the evidence of what transpired here is gone. I look at her the way a man is supposed to look at a woman. Then say, "Do you know why I refuse to stay away from you?"
Her face grows warm. "No... why?"
I run my fingers over her lips. They part on a breath. Her lips are like velvet to my skin. Hot shivers pierce through me. Her fragile hands find my chest. She's in love with me, I see it in the way she looks at me. And I am certain no one else can ever touch her the way I do. I lean into her, look her in the eye, fingers frozen on her lips, and say, "The day I was meant to die is the same day you were born. Coincidence?"
"No," she says after biting my bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. "Coincidences don't exist between us. Probably destiny."
"Anyone with half a brain would know that," I say and she turns away from me, the faint street lights creating misty shadows on her face. I close my eyes.
"So you're saying I have half a brain."
"Don't worry, I have the other half." I open my eyes so that I can wink at her.
With an eye roll, she draws her knees up to her bloodied chest, wraps her arms around them and rests her chin on top of them. She's staring between the tombstones with a distant look. I'm staring at her. It begins raining harder. No longer a drizzle now.
I watch her close her eyes and tilt her head back so that the light drops of the rain would connect with her face. Zoe loves doing this. It is something I love to do as well. Whatever she does, no matter how ridiculous, she always makes it seem so fun. She makes things contagious. What is she thinking? Would she mind if I fucked her again right now? Does she even want to fuck me at all after I lost control earlier? But most terrifying, why don't I feel an ounce of guilt for almost killing her?
She's the one that introduced me to rough sex. Maybe she's regretting it right now. Zoe and I make Christan and Anastasia look like amateurs.
"I love you," she says.
"Zoe... I," I can't force out the lie out fast enough. "You're an —"
"Shh... You don't need to say anything," she says with a smile. "I know you don't feel the same way. At least not yet."
False hope. Why do women try so terribly hard to hold on to it?
Zoe is something I've never encountered before. She has all the attributes I found most desirable in a girl. She makes me laugh (though very rare). A girl that makes a guy laugh is very dangerous. Laughter not food is really the only way to a guy's heart. Zoe's pulling at the strings. Like an inexperienced guitarist.
She's seen me at my ugliest and yet here she is, with the brightest blue eyes I've ever seen, eyes that are suddenly drilling into mine.
"What do you wish for, Daniel."
To kill someone and have sex with them for at least two days after their death.
I gulp. "I'm sure you would prefer not to know the response to that. What's your wish?"
She chuckles, the sound low, coming from deep within her chest. Only if she could hear thoughts. Her eyes trail to my lips and darken. "The one thing I wish for would freak you out."
I reach for the loose strand, soaked to the scalp, and gently tuck it behind her ear. I allow the back of my hand to lightly trail down her cheek as it drops off.
"I wouldn't encourage you to make assumptions, Zee."
She leans into me and lets her lips brush against my ear. I shiver. Unable to control myself. "Zee," she whispers. "I like it when you call me that."
She buries her head against my shoulder and shuts her eyes. "Daniel—"
I groan and rest my cheek against her head. I know her well, when she calls my name like that, usually it's to ask something I'm not comfortable sharing with her.
Zoe runs her hand through my hair.
I glance up at the sudden rumbling in the sky. Storm air blows Zoe's hair into a mayhem. The breath whooshes out of me like someone has punched me. The blood drains from my head and leaves me dizzy. Panic rolls through my body. I hunch over and place my hands on my unbalanced knees to brace myself.
"We need to get back!"
Zoe's eyes are wide, raking the trees in alarm. "Why?"
My hands and feet are shaking so hard I wonder if I'd have the capacity to walk. I stumble into my clothes and so does Zoe.
"Daniel?" She looks down at me with horror-struck eyes and a ghostly face. "What did you see?"
"Can't explain," I whisper, turning back the way we'd come and running. I am suddenly clumsy due to the panic. The sky rumbles again, and I almost fall against a tree.
Zoe runs to catch up with me. "What's wrong?" She keeps asking.
"Not yet," I chant again and again. My voice is a tremor.
When we finally break out from the forest edge, it is raining persistently. The clouds have taken a rather ashen furious grey as they move above in outrage. I wonder briefly if I should tell Zoe what is wrong.
"Shit," I gasp, out of air.
"Daniel?" She asks, frantic.
The roar — momentous, bone-numbing — sounds as if it is right here in my backyard with me.
Frightened. That's what I am.
Then it happens.
The lightning.
It illuminates the night and suddenly the shadows come to life. It appears as though there are people stalking the dark streets. Casting voodoo eyes on me. Even Zoe provides me no sense of security. I stumble across the yard to my front door.
I freeze. Zoe holds my hand. Reassuring me things will be fine.
The rumbling sounds far as if it is coming from a faraway tunnel and then it grows dangerously closer. But then both the roar and light come at the same time. I jump and stumble my way past the door. My breathing kicking up a notch.
The dark, shadowy gloom envelops the house like an ominous fog. I flicker the lights on as I go, past the lounge, up the flight of stairs to my bedroom.
Zoe catches on to what is happening because the second we get to my bedroom she pulls the curtains shut and sings me a lulling song so that I'll concentrate on her instead of the sounds coming from the thunder.
When the storm passes she says, "Are you okay?"
I nod and smile.
"Tell me what you saw in the woods."
My smile fades. "I don't want to bore you with the details."
"I wouldn't have asked, babe if I thought you were a waste of my time."
Of course not.
"I'm terrified of thunder storms."
"But why didn't you say anything?"
"Seriously...?" I contemplate for a moment. "If you knew how free, how happy you seem to be every time you watch the weather forecast and hear there's going to be a storm, you'd know why I haven't told you anything."
She holds my hands between hers and her gaze finds my own. "Daniel, I want you to listen to me."
"Zoe... please—"
" I want to be the one that helps you over come your fears. I want to hold your hand through thunder storms just as you hold mine when it's dark outside. Can you let me take care of you?"
My hand cups her cheek, I don't know what has gotten into her, she makes me sound good. Maybe almost dying messed with her head. When have I ever put anyone but me first?
Zoe drops her hands to my lap. "So you promise never to keep something this big from me again?"
"I promise."
"I'm gonna need more than that. Promise not to break this promise."
Oh God no!
"No broken vows, I promise."
I stare at her breasts until I am mesmerised. My hands slid up her arms. She gasps, and I leaned in to catch her scent. My fingers come to rest on the sides of her neck.
The hunger in her eyes is a reflection of my own. I am sure of it. Before I can bring my lips to hers, she leans away from me.
She clears her throat but her voice catches and tries again, "I better go home."
She wants the opposite. She's hoping I invite her to sleep over. I never do. It's okay for them to stay a few hours but the whole night? In the morning I'd have to wake up to her. She'd be the first person I see. Lord, no. Why would I want that?
"I'll see you in the morning," I say. "Have a good night