Chapter 19

Nathan sat in the verandah overlooking the city. An empty bottle and half empty bottle of scotch lay on the table in front of him.
Six days.
Six days since he had last seen her. He took another gulp straight from the bottle. Why did he feel so helpless?
Another gulp.
He missed her smile, her laughter. He missed entangling his fingers in her hair.
Not sex but just him and her sharing their warmth. He missed her shy blush when he held her hand. He went into his house with his bottle.
He missed her pancakes and eating them. He missed eating her even more.
He heard the door click. Someone was in his house. Was she— He sped down the stairs hoping—somehow hoping she was there.
No. What was he even expecting?
“Nathan. Look at you.” Victoria said.
“Hey mom, you didn’t tell me you were coming.”
“Well you didn’t pick my calls.” She moved closer to him taking his face in her hands. “You look—You seem so stressed. I’m so worried. Your father is worried too”
He held her arms and gave her a wide smile. “I’m fine mom.”
“After what happened that night, you are definitely not in the position to ascertain you being fine. I’m sorry Nathan. Your father too is sorry even though he wouldn’t categorically spell it out. We are sorry for putting pressure on you. We projected our desires on you. Your father and I were getting old and we thought—”
“It’s okay mom. I understand.”
“No. It’s not. You don’t look happy and that makes me unhappy. I want you to be happy Nathan. I’m proud of you.” She leaned to kiss his cheek. “You were flowing when you were with Rachel you know. It was a different kind of glow. When you looked at her, it was like there was no one in the room. The first time you brought her home, the air was different and suspiciously so but that night was just different. I know you know it too. But do whatever makes you happy. I would always support you. We would always support you.”
He leaned in for a hug and held on tightly. Her hands rubbed his back in a soothing motion.
“One more thing.” She entangled out of the hug. “Ken was discharged from the hospital yesterday—.”
“Oh, so early. Wish he’d stayed longer though. He really needs it especially the psych ward.”
His mother smiled. “I must admit, you did a good job roughing him up. I almost wished I didn’t separate you guys.” She burst out in laughter and he did too. Her laughter was so contagious.
“Have you even left the house since then?” Victoria asked.
“No. But I will. I promise.”
“Please do. I have a flight to catch in about an hour. Love you.” She said placing a kiss on wither sides of his cheek. He walked with her to the door and outside.
She abruptly turned. “One more thing.” With a small smile dancing on her lips. “I saw someone that looks like Rachel at Oriental hotels today.” She blew him a kiss and entered her car.
This woman! He chuckled. So she was at Oriental’s. Not very far. He had thought she would have left the country.
He wasn’t going. He missed her but what was he even doing to tell her? She was very curious with him. Oh that woman! He closed his eyes trying to clear his mind.
He was not in love with her.
Her perfect tussle of golden length hair that framed her face perfectly. Her infectious smile, her shy but playful glares and her piercing laughter.
He was so in love with her.
Six days.
Enough time for Rachel to consider moving out of the country. Enough time to start planning it. She picked up her phone to check the call logs. Only Tina.
He hadn’t called.
Six days and she was still bothered by his absence. She had an headache. Maybe she was going to drink this off. Or probably even head to a club. A sharp knock resounded in the room.
Tina? She had told her she would be with her but she didn’t expect her so soon. She quickly tied her robe then proceeded to open the door.
Fuck. She instinctively blocked the entrance with her body and stared at him unmoving.
“Rachel please let me in. I promise I’ll be fast.” Her heart nearly skipped a beat heading his voice. She momentarily got drowned in his blue eyes. She stepped aside letting him enter.
“How did you even know I was here?”
His blue eyes were full of laughter. “I know a lot of things and people too.”
“So?” She flayed her hand in the air.
“How are you? I missed you.”
“Good.”
He let out a rather loud dramatic smile and sat on the bed.
“Would you sit?”
She moved closer to him crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him still standing.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry you went through that night. I hate that you went through it. You were right, I’m selfish but I was also scared because I was growing a deep feeling in my heart that I could not really comprehend. And I was also myopic to think it was just about sex. It’s not Rachel.” He stood up to cup her face. Her face warmed on contact. Her head was screaming to take it off. She had longed for this. She had craved for this. She was already melting.
“In other words. I like you. I want you . I love you. Most of all, I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you.”
She felt her body flush warm. Had he said love? She could not help the foolish smile spreading across her cheek. This felt like a dream.
“Really? Do you really mean this? Or are you saying this because you know that’s what I want to hear? Or because you feel pity for me? You know I don’t need that pity. I don’t want that pity. Or—”
“Goddamit Rachel! You never fucking listen.” He pulled her face to his and placed a passionate kiss to her lips. She closed her eyes and started to melt under his touch. His fingertips graze her jaw, neck and shoulder. Everywhere his hand touched felt like electric sparks.
Curling his fingers around the back of her neck, he urged her to lift her head. As her lips hovered a breath above his and her gaze looked deep into his soul, he murmured “I love you.”
“And I love you too.” She whispered cupping his face. Their lips met again, this time harder and more intense. The bristles of his beards scratched against her soft cheeks as she gripped his head tightly as if to stop him from escaping. Their tongues battling back and forth like wrestlers trying to pin the other.
When they separated, they were breathless. She noticed a wicked glint in his eyes.
“You are so fucking sexy.”
She shrugged her shoulders and blushed teasing him as she removing her robe. One of his hands gripped her neck, the other moved all over her stomach and her breasts.
“Say it.” His voice was deep, the kind that made her wet.
“What—Say what?”
He sucked on her neck , both of his hands were caressing her breasts.
“Say you love me.”
She didn’t hesitate. “I love you.”
He carried her swiftly causing a yelp from her and placed her delicately on the bed.
“Roll over. Put your ass in the air.”