Chapter 14

“You’re hogging all the hot water,” Leo announced, bursting through the door I had forgotten to lock.

I turned away from the glass door of the shower, trying to hide my nakedness. “What are you doing?!” I squeaked.

“Oh, relax. I can’t see that much with the glass all fogged up,” he teased. “There’s a robe just outside the door when you’re done and I promise not to look.”

“You could just get out so I can put on clothes,” I complained, pretty sure I could hear him pee over the noise of the shower.

“If we’re living together with one bedroom and one bathroom, you’re going to have to warm up to me eventually.”

I shut off the water before he had a chance to flush the toilet, confirming what I heard. Then I quickly grabbed the robe and wrapped myself in it. Where I had expected to find a soft absorbent cotton, I found silk instead and it wasn’t going to cover much of me either.

“The more you push, the more I want to disappear, so back off and maybe I’ll surprise you.”

“You’re just being over-sensitive. Loosen up and I bet you’d like me more,” he taunted watching me as I exited the shower and grabbed for my clothes on the counter.
My red lacy underwear were missing from the top of the pile, so instantly, I shot him a look. He was standing there, completely naked, my underwear hanging from an outstretched finger. I didn’t intend to look him over but I caught myself doing it anyway; just for a split second. Just long enough to be momentarily stunned and unsure about my next move.

“You’re umm...naked,” I whispered with my head turned and my cheeks hot.

“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, darling.”

I clutched my clothes and robe tighter around me as he slid toward me across the tile floor, the sexual energy threatening to drown me. I wanted to tell him to give me my underwear and leave but all of my words were stuck in my throat. I was too nervous to speak.

“Where did the prude come from?” he whispered in my ear, trying to be seductive while trailing my underwear along my shoulder.

A shiver made its way through me while flashes of visions crashed into my mind. There was rope around my wrists, thick and itchy, pinching the skin from the tight knot. The panic I felt was overwhelming, pulling a scream up from the pit of my stomach but it crashed against my teeth because of something holding my mouth closed. Fabric held my ankles to something wooden, I could feel the cool smoothness of it on the outside of my ankle. I couldn’t get away and I desperately wanted to. One blink I was back in the bathroom, blink again and the vision had me, over and over until I didn’t know if I was tied down or standing free anymore.

“Raven?”

Images were spinning before my eyes, going blurry from the tears and the motion alike.

“Raven!”

Leo held me by the shoulders, worry creasing his face. I blinked and he stayed. The vision had ended.

“Raven, what was that? Did you remember something or do you need blood?”

I took a moment to compose myself, wiping away tears and trying to understand the timeline of what I had seen. Why was I tied down? Was it the only time it had happened? Who tied me down and what were they going to do to me?

I had taken too long to answer him apparently.

“Raven!”

I jumped a little. “I’m fine,” I blurted quickly.

He wiped away a tear I had missed. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push you. I just thought that things were getting back to normal.”

I shook my head. “I still don’t remember you. I don’t remember anything,” I mumbled in frustration before swiping my underwear from him and leaving the bathroom.

“Raven, just talk to me,” he begged, following me out of the bathroom.

I was trying to hide my tears from him again but he caught me by my shoulder to turn me toward him. I froze in a sudden terror that didn’t make sense.

Leo wasn’t there anymore. He had been replaced by someone else; an older, shirtless, bald man whose fingers were digging into my arm.

“Oh no you don’t!” the man laughed deep and guttural. “Come back here.”

He yanked me toward him and shoved me to kneel in front of him. Then took my chin and forced me to look up at his face. I tried to look away but his grip was tight and my hands were bound so I couldn’t swat away his hand.

“You are mine, Raven,” the man growled, sending a shiver down my spine. “You’re going to be a good girl and keep me happy and I know exactly where you can start.”
The protest that had welled up in my throat finally broke out in a scream of the word no. I kept screaming and finally found the ability to fight against the man but everything was foggy.

“Raven! Raven, it's okay! You’re safe!”

Leo was fighting my attempts to get free and we were on the floor now. Had my body obeyed even outside the vision?

“Raven, you’re here with me. It’s okay,” he tried softly after I fell silent except for the heavy breathing and my racing heart.

I scrambled away from him and huddled against a wall, hugging my naked body. Tears continued to stream down my face and my mind was reeling. What had I just seen?

“Raven, can you talk to me? What did you see?” Leo asked gently.

I wasn’t sure if I should tell him or not. I also wasn’t sure what to tell him because I didn’t really understand what I had just seen.

“Baby, I can’t help, if I don’t know what happened.”

I swallowed, realizing that I was trembling. “I think …”

Leo waited patiently while I tried to formulate words.

“I think he raped me…”

Leo was silent. I don’t know if he was thinking or if he was waiting for me to explain. I didn’t know what else to say. My brain didn’t want to go any further.

“Who?” he growled, his jaw tight.

I flinched and bit my lip as I looked away from him, keeping my eyes on the floor. He rolled away from me and stormed off toward the living room and kitchen area. I stayed where I was for a moment then yanked on clothes from the floor when I felt too exposed.

When Leo came back, he was calm and moved carefully toward me. “I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have overreacted. I’m composed now. Can you tell me what you saw so I can try to help?”

I looked up at him and my heart began to race again. I wanted to run but I had nowhere to go. My voice caught in my throat so that when I tried to tell him that I didn’t know who the man was, all that came out was a small squeak with tears following close behind.

Leo fought the urge to come to me. I watched it on his face.

After a moment he nodded. “You can tell me when you’re ready, but we should get to The Nest before Kris calls us in. Are you okay with working on the computer today?”

I nodded.

“Okay, I’m going to finish getting ready, then we’ll go.”

I was nervous about leaving the house but I also wasn't sure that I wanted to be alone anymore.

Leo left me alone until we arrived at The Nest. We had some kind of silent understanding that neither of us wanted to talk about what had happened. I brought the cellphone with me, though I wasn’t sure why. I just felt that I needed it with me so I made sure it was in my pocket.
The Nest was an elaborate maze of hallways that I couldn’t understand. I had to stay on Leo’s heels for fear of getting lost but I also tried to look like I knew what I was doing every time someone passed. I almost sighed with relief when we entered the dark computer lab but then I saw how many other people were at computers and got nervous again.

We sat at computers next to each other and Leo got me logged in after setting up an account for me. I felt like a small child with the inability to do things for myself.

It took me some time to get the hang of the system for searching the database. Leo had to get me out of some frozen screens and back to the beginning a few times before I finally understood what I was doing. I was supposed to be looking for an easy target but I was quickly bored of it and over the frustration of the system’s design.

So instead of searching the database, I did a general search for my name and stumbled onto a social media platform. I didn’t plan to sign in but in a knee jerk reaction I did, somehow remembering my email and password without really thinking about it. I expected the account to be shut down once I realized what I had done, but it wasn’t. I had access to the same account I had once spent hours scrolling through.

Everything was exactly as I expected it to be. The people I had once spent so much time trying to be like and impress were getting on with their lives and not posting about the human me. They were getting married and having kids or starting new jobs and graduating college. They were so boring and normal that I decided to look at my profile for clues about how I got to London or who I was with.

I expected to see posts about my passing and how they were sad or whatever. I didn’t expect to find memorial service pictures with my friends and family gathered around holding candles.

The date of the pictures caught my eye but I couldn’t put my finger on why for a long moment. Slowly, like filling a bucket with cold water from a hose, I realized why the date had caught my eye.

It was my birthday.

They had gathered for my birthday this year.