CHAPTER 37

I knocked at Martha's door, plate, piled high with cheese and veggy omelette and toast in one hand and a great big jug of milk in another. Healing took energy, and no one was hungrier than a wolf who was healing.

"Is that you ragazza? I cannot smell overtop of this medical..." her voice lowered but I did hear her mutter 'merda', which was the Italian word for 'shit'.

I snorted, it sounded like Martha liked being cooped up to heal about as much as I did.

"I come with gifts," I said through the door. I managed to use the spare fingers from holding the mug to turn the knob and swung the portal open with a knee.

Martha was laying in bed, she was well covered by a set of expensive looking sheets and a medical gown that covered everything essential. She was reading something with heavily rimmed glasses I hadn't even known she needed. I glanced at the title and felt my eyebrows lifting. I hadn't even known Martha liked smutty romance.

"Ah you are a darling girl bringing an old woman sustenance in her time of need," Martha set the book down and waved me over. Her movements were a little stiff, especially on her right side, but her color was good. Denise had done a fine job of setting her up for healing. I made my way to the bed and set the plate of food on Martha's lap and the milk on the side table.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her with genuine concern. I didn't feel so much like one of the puzzle pieces that made the pack work, but I liked Martha.
She waved a piece of toast at me. "I'm telling you it's a good thing you blew those boys to pieces. I've got about this much tolerance left for those fools," she made a very small space between two fingers. "A challenge is one thing, but a full on attack..." she shook her head. "Are they wanting to wave the red flag before the bull? The Darkmoon pack will most definitely see this as a weakness, they'll be gunning for us next."

I sat on the bed next to her legs.

"It was a retaliatory attack. Anthony took out Victor's men first."

A resigned look crossed her face.

"Instinct is riding Anthony hard with this transition. His position is stifled, filled with rules and protocol when all his wolf wants to do is prove himself without question. It makes for tumultuous beginnings, and Anthony made a mistake."

"You still support him?" I figured she did, or she wouldn't be here, but now she'd been shot as a direct result of his actions.

She looked at me like I was crazy.

"Of course I do. The other caporigemes, they are blinded by their own greed. Olander wants to expand the organization to encompass all of Boston and grow it through the state. Victor wanted in on the amphetamine business. Wilson is dumb as a rock and would drive us all into the ground. None of this is what the pack needs."

I thought about that. The organization was the most powerful syndicate in Boston, but it had its own rules of operations. We dealt mostly in the gambling houses with reaches into importing weaponry and other illegal hardware, political bribery, fraud and money laundering. Rob had kept hold of most of the minor drug dealers as well, mostly to discourage others from picking up on the business. He hadn't pushed to expand our territory, keeping to what he knew we could control absolutely with the resources we had. He hadn't dappled in the harder drugs because it drew too much attention from the human law enforcement. It was sound and secure, until his death brought forward others with their own ideas of how things should work. She was right, Anthony was the best option for the pack.

Martha was busy shovelling food into her mouth but she was watching me think.

"He cares about you, you know." She told me after swallowing, "has since you first arrived dirty and ragged on our doorstep."

I felt my lips tighten. I'd been so different then. A desperate whisp of a girl who'd lost her entire world and wanted nothing but revenge. It had been Anthony who'd opened the door of the manse to find me on the doorstep that night, soaked in rain and demanding to see Rob. Somehow I think that even if Rob had refused to see me Anthony would have found a way to help.

"I care about him too, things have just been..."

Martha nodded and patted me on the hand in a maternal gesture.

"It's alright ragazza, you've lost the only family you had left, it makes sense that you would make mistakes as well. Dark times are driven by emotion, the important thing is that you are here now, to do what is best for the pack."

The guilt that shot through me at that moment was more than I'd felt for a very long time. Was that why I was there now? I'd been at the manse for the attack, so it made sense that I'd been moved along with all the other residents and the support staff Anthony needed. But her words had echoes of Anthony's when he'd demanded why I wasn't fighting to be his Luna, and I was afraid I was going to be a big fat disappointment to them both.

I wasn't very good at hiding my discomfort, so I got up and gathered her empty plate.

"I'd better go see what Anthony needed," I told her, earning me a sly grin from the woman.

"I have my bet that it isn't a plate of eggs he wants from you, ragazza."

She was teasing me. About sex.

I could feel the heat of the flush all the way up my neck, which delighted Martha into a heavy chuckle. She clutched at her side, wincing.

"Ah, you make a poor old wolf laugh when she's down. You're a good girl, Raven."

That was the thing. I didn't think I was.