Chapter 14: Torment

**Since Mansion (Days Earlier)**



"Have you found her?" Mr. Gillard Rafael asked, directing his question to Ruen who was standing against the balustrade of a VIP room of the Since Mansion. Ruen's eyes were fixed on a scenery in front of them: a beautiful sunset, similar to what he was accustomed to way, way back in the past.

A female servant of the mansion had just left the balcony after preparing two cups of tea: one for Mr. Rafael who was sitting near the coffee table and one for Ruen. The former was wearing once again his most favorite hat, a white and black checkered fedora hat, coupled with a formal suit the shade of dark blue. He sipped the contents of his cup as he waited for the latter's response.

"Yes, I found her finally," Ruen answered right after he heaved a sigh. God knows how many years he had been searching for her. He never gave up. His existence in the modern world was enough evidence that Princess Lianne would also resurface somewhere sooner or later. It was just a waiting game; a game that he most certainly would play just to reunite with her again.

"Uh huh, and then?" replied Mr. Rafael, wanting more information.

"She is living in Fortville City and she has her own apartment, but no family with her."

"Fortville?" the old man's brow arched up. "If I'm not mistaken, the City of Fortville was once called the City of Olga."

"Yes," Ruen clarified, still watching the scenery.

"Huh! How ironic is that?" Mr. Rafael couldn't contain his amusement. "For her to resurface in that exact place, who would have known?"

Ruen didn't give any comment regarding it, but deep inside, his blood boiled hating how twisted Fate was. The City of Olga housed the infamous cave that almost became Lianne's burial ground if he had come seconds late of saving her. But actually, it was better this way. It would be harder to track her down if she were in some faraway country with a different language.

Mr. Rafael remained silent for a moment, sipping the tea once again until it was empty.

"I never realized reincarnation is real," he started once again, "if that’s what we would even call your situation. Or magic. I never believed in those until I saw you in that fateful snowy day. Just you standing here, in this day and age, are already proof that my normal life isn't always what it seems."

He then lit a Cuban cigar, placed it in his mouth and puffed the smoke out.

"What I don't understand however is why you’re still here talking to me. You have finally found her after searching all these years Ruen and yet you are hesitant to approach her? You’re unbelievable."

The sunset now was already changing its hue from a bright yellow and orange to a dull violet and brown. Ruen felt his heart clench in agony upon hearing his words. "She…I think…she doesn't remember anymore," was his most honest reply.

"Are you certain?" Mr. Rafael stood up and approached him, stopping at his left side. He could clearly see the turmoil not only in Ruen’s eyes but in his heart.

"She looks…happy with her life now. I can't bother her anymore," Ruen further spoke.

"Stop that nonsense!” Mr. Rafael admonished. “How much more do you have to endure? You have waited for her for years! You transcended time and space just to be with her! Why stop now?! Did it ever cross your mind that she would be happier with you in her life again?"

A look of displeasure was evident on the old man's face. As a sixty-five-year-old man, a skilled and successful businessman and a duke at the same time in the City of Since, he has had his fair share of relationships. He was one who believed on second chances, always rooting for Ruen to find the princess after he learned of their past.

He didn't have a family to take care of. He took Ruen home after he was discharged in the hospital and made him his personal bodyguard and eventually became his adoptive son. He helped him find her and even went as far as buy the auctioned mansion and turned it into a five-star resort so that Ruen's search would become easier. Though Ruen didn't express it, Mr. Rafael knew of his hardships and the unbearable torment in his heart. It became his calling in life to help him ease that torment.

"I...I can't hurt her again," Ruen announced, his voice thinning to a whisper.

"Blast that boy! I have lived and loved myself. Don't be like me, leaving the woman behind. I regretted every single day I didn't fight for her love! Don't torture yourself. Go to her. Make her remember!"

Ruen shifted his eyes to meet his. There it was, the kindness and sincerity in the old man's eyes. Ruen knew then right from the start that this man could be trusted with his secret that’s why he shared it with him.

"Why do you think I bought the mansion for? Use it to your advantage. You are the rightful owner of the mansion in the first place."

Ruen took another deep breath. The duke had a point. There should be no regrets. He could never live this new life without Lianne by his side. Call it selfishness. Call it greed. But he wanted her more than anything.

"Now tell me, what do you want? Anything I can do within my power, I will help you. But don't you ever tell me you’re giving up."

"Lianne has friends,” Ruen started after a minute. “I want you to use your influence and connections and invite them for a vacation in the mansion. In the meantime, I will try…try to do something. If there’s still a flicker of hope from her, I will grab it without delay."

"Good, I will do as you instructed. I’ll make sure she gets the same room she had in the past. Now, where will you go while this is all in the process?"

Ruen heaved a sigh and looked back at the scenery ahead.

"To the Fortville City Library.”



~ 0 ~

POV: Ruen Waitsince

Find me in your dreams.

I wrote these words down on a small piece of paper. It was the only thing I could think of. This was her dying wish. Her last words to me. I hoped it would be enough to wake her heart...that's if there's still a fragment of memory left of me inside her.

She will be arriving in the library soon. I heard the librarian talked with her on the phone two hours ago to deliver her borrowed books.

I approached the librarian when she was no longer busy, gave her a good alibi and then handed her my message. She seemed excited with the notion that I am an admirer of Lianne. My guess was she was a hopeless romantic herself.

My heart couldn't contain itself anymore when I saw her disembark the taxi. Wonderful yet intoxicating emotions immediately filled me. I felt nervous. I couldn't deny it. I purposely stood in front of the second floor porch for her to see me.

This would be my first time showing myself to her after watching her from the distance for the past one year.

Yes, one year. That was how long I had endured, and it was certainly a whole year of suffering for me. I was dying inside, little by little, wanting to hold her, to touch her, to feel her and to make sure that she was really alive.

She looked so elegant and beautiful in her floral dress. Her wavy locks bouncing in the air made me remember of the time when she was riding her horse, Arinna, in the stables: carefree, self-assured and strong-willed.

Oh how I would love to run my fingers in those locks once again.

As she neared the entryway of the library, she noticed me. She looked surprised. I couldn't help but look back at her, and when our eyes met, she shyly turned away but I could see her cheeks blush heavily.

‘Cute Lianne, you don't know how much my heart yearns for you.’

She went inside the library then, and the next time I saw her was when she went up the second floor, and yes, holding my message. I hid in some shelves across her favorite area of the library. This way, I could clearly see her reaction after she read my message.

My heart felt like it was being squeezed when I saw sudden tears stream down her eyes. I wanted to go to her side and comfort her. Tell her it was okay now. Touch her. Kiss her lips that I so wanted to do, but I knew I had to endure more.

Soon... Real soon.

I decided to leave the library to be away from her as soon as possible. I had realized that if I wouldn’t do it and with her all alone in the second floor, I might not be able to hold myself.

I exited the library as hurriedly as I could but I was amazed when her voice rang in the air on top of the porch calling my attention. I turned to look at her, my eyes aflame with passion.

"You! You there! Who are you?! Why did you give this to me?!" she said while flagging the piece of paper in her hand. I opted not to answer.

She looked like she was pissed off with my silence but this was the only way. I couldn’t give more information until the time was right.

However, a small smile broke on the corner of my lips, almost like a smirk, pleased that I got her attention. After one final glance of her, I proceeded to the entrance gate where my car was parked some distance away. I didn't realize it at first until I got inside that my hands were actually trembling. I felt so free. So relieved. So happy that I saw a small glimpse of hope inside her. Only time and my patience would tell how long this torment would end.

Patience.

Yes... patience.

The key now for my plan to go smoothly was my patience.

However, even that had deserted me, for after a few hours later, I was already stalking her again in her apartment. I just couldn't contain myself.

I knew it wasn't right to enter her apartment at midnight without her knowledge, but it gave me a fright when I heard her scream in the bedroom. It looked like she had a bad dream. When she went down the kitchen and took a bottle of water from the fridge that was when my patience broke down. Seeing her there...just there...my hands and legs betrayed me before I could even think right.

She looked frightened. I bet she thought me a rapist or a murderer, but she caught a glimpse of my face with the dim lighting of the fridge and she somehow calmed down a bit. The knife in her hand frightened me more though. She might cut herself with it, so I instinctively grabbed it from her.

Bad idea I guess.

She panicked and fought with me as hard as she could, refusing to let the knife go.

I didn't know what else to do then so I kissed her to stop her screaming. But probably, deep inside me, it was more of yearning. God knows how much I missed kissing her.

Then she fainted, probably because of her overworked emotions.

Touching her face, I realized that I was truly in torment, and this feeling would never end. This craving would never be sated until she’ll be with me.

She must remember. She should remember. And the only way possible, I think, was for her to go to the Regaleria Mansion once again.



~ 0 ~



POV: Lianne Deivin

I didn't have enough sleep at all the whole night taking care of my unexpected patient. Apparently, Ruen had a fever as high as 39 degrees Celsius because of his gunshot wound. To make things complicated, he was also in pain and he didn't even take any pain medications to help him endure it.

What was he even thinking anyway?! Kill himself to death?!

I thought him courageous and strong though, that he went through this much to bear the pain while he met with me twice today and drove us to his house. I didn't even notice his ailment until we arrived here and him suddenly falling, but even so…even so it’s just too twisted.

Why didn’t he tell me that he was suffering? I could have helped him sooner.

My arms and back ached a little. I had to position him on the large sectional sofa so that he would lie down and rest in it properly. It wasn't easy at all with him only half conscious, but I had to do it still. I would have wanted to put him in his bedroom but since I didn’t know where it was and that I couldn’t lift him all the way there, I decided for the practical option.

Once he settled, I quickly scanned the kitchen cupboards and cabinets for any medicine available and luckily, there were tablets of morphine placed in one of them.

The whole floor had an open concept design with only a glass door to the kitchen and a cleverly placed shelf separated the two sections. The kitchen was just some stairs down from the modern living room with walls painted with white and lighted with modern light fixtures.

It wasn't devoid at all with furniture. In fact, it was extensive enough for a man who lived alone.

And speaking of which, my cheeks blushed many times. Yes, truth be told, I was both excited and nervous knowing that we were both alone in his house.

Back to the subject, it was early in the morning when my stomach protested. I was hungry, but before I attended to it, I stood up from my makeshift bed on the floor next to Ruen’s sofa and checked his status while he was still sleeping, looking innocent and at peace.

I checked his temperature - touching him on the forehead with the back of my hand. Thank Heavens his fever had gone down. I remembered him sweating like a marathon runner during the wee hours of the night. I had to scan the upstairs bedrooms for a change of shirt.

I gave him another dose of paracetamol and morphine tablet for a round-the-clock medication. I didn’t know if he was either too weak or unconscious to just allow me to work with him the whole night or he was faking it which was unlikely.

After finishing my work, I went to the kitchen, intending to make a hearty breakfast for two.

I opened the fridge and saw eggs, bacon, fresh produce of different kinds, fresh milk, and some boxes of cereals, ready-mix pancake, fruits and vegetables. Well, I was surprised. Again, for a man who lived alone, he had enough stocks to hold a party.

I thought a bowl of bacon soup and some fresh cut fruits would whet his appetite, so I directly helped myself with the kitchen equipments. As for me, a simple blueberry pancake and fried bacon would ease my hunger.

Goodmorning Jen! ♥ I am still at his place. Don't worry about me. Have a fun time right there. BTW, I can actually see the whole resort from where I am. I can't believe I am on top of a mountain!

I texted a quick message to my best friend to let her know that I’m fine…or still alive that is, and after a few minutes, she replied:

Good that you didn't forget texting me. ;) ♥♥♥ Enjoy your time there, but don't forget we will be leaving the resort three days from now. ;p

Yes, three days from now.

I released a deep sigh. I would surely miss the resort when we get back home. With that in mind, I realized that I wouldn't be seeing him anymore too when we leave. Unless he’d follow me again to Fortville which would all be up to him. Well, not that I wanted him to, but I hoped he would….

Since I’m here, I might as well make the most of my time and to remember as much as I could with my so-called past life. With his help though, and for him to help me, I had to help him first regain his health.

Now on to cooking.



~ 0 ~



POV: Ruen Waitsince

I got up with a mild headache radiating briefly from my nape to my temple. Damn... I should have taken the morphine tablets earlier.

I whiffed an aroma of bacon presently cooking in the kitchen and faintly heard a female voice humming a familiar tune.

Hmmm... Lianne.

My mind reeled instantly. This tune... it was the exact music played when we had our first waltz in the Regaleria Ball. I smiled thinking about it. Maybe unconsciously, everything was coming back to her which was a good sign.

I stood up and examined myself, inspecting the garment with my hand. This was the shirt she used to change me last night. She didn't notice but I was awake when she undressed me.

While her delicate fingers touched my skin, I had to control myself not to steal a quick peek. But if it weren't for my fever, I would have kissed her right then and there. And make love to her - the only way I know how - to help her remember our past.

While she was still busy cooking, I went upstairs and into one of the three bedrooms: the Masters.

Mr. Rafael gave the rest house to me three years ago. He said to give me privacy. But all the while, he didn’t even know how much torment it gave me to see the mansion from up here. I accepted it though. Coming here from time to time in order to catch a breather and to use my fond memories of her in the past, at least it lessened my pain. Never had I expected she’d step foot in this house and be with me whole flesh and blood.

I took a quick warm shower to freshen up and then changed into new clothes: a loose fitting trouser and a white t-shirt ensemble. I couldn't feel the ache in my wounds anymore. It felt numbed in a good way, and I felt better, so much better. Thanks to her care.

Once I was dressed and ready, I went downstairs, passing the living room and into the kitchen.

Lianne was still humming. I smiled again. It was music to my ears. I stopped just beside the door, leaning against its frame as I slowly observed her, taking in all of her presence as she coordinated her cooking skills.

Her back was to me. I couldn't see her face but I knew she was too engrossed with what she was doing to even notice me.

I crossed my arms to my chest; my heart throbbing wildly just seeing her within my reach. Just within my reach.