Chapter 40

NICOLE

After half an hour of a sniffling, snorting, bawling, shit-storm of a meltdown, my head felt as if it was in a girdle with the strings pulled ever tighter.

Gingerly propping it in my hands, I uttered a low groan. One emotional induced migraine created? Check! Another fierce throb ripped through my brain, and my eyeballs threw up a white flag of surrender. Their idea of a good time was not an attempt at being shoved forcefully from their cradling sockets.

With a small sound of distress escaping my lips, I eased off the bed and gained my feet. Slowly shuffling my way to the door, I pulled it open a crack and peeked into the hallway. A sigh of relief escaped me at seeing its empty condition, and I stepped the rest of the way out of the room. On feet I knew were almost silent, but to my sensitive headache-induced hearing, echoed like the thud of shod horse’s hooves on concrete, I made my way to the kitchen, where, with a hand shielding my eyes, I hunted out the makings for coffee.

After I prepared the pot, I tapped my foot, waiting for it to finish brewing. Giving up that it would occur soon, I pulled out the pot and poured the extra strong java into my cup. Placing the pot back in the brewer’s socket, I doctored the coffee a little heavier than normal.

Finally, making my way to the main bathroom, I rifled through the medicine cabinet until I found something to relieve my headache. Returning to the kitchen, I picked up my coffee, swallowed the pills, before meandering outside.

Sinking onto the porch swing, I pushed against the concrete with my foot, setting the swing in motion.

What was I to do? How was I to give him up and walk away? The darkness of the night embraced me. The breeze and the crickets sang their lullabies, attempting to soothe me, and the swing rocked me like an infant. Yet, nothing calmed the pain within me.

In the past few weeks, I’d been through a gauntlet of emotions and I felt burned...seared: charred down to my soul.

I couldn’t deny that I’d set out to seduce Ethan, and now I realized it had to be the stupidest plan I’d ever hatched; I was not proud of it, for all I’d done was cause us both pain. I’d been selfish, hadn’t looked at the big picture, of how it might turn out. Of the damage, my actions could bring about. Now? I’d become a home-wrecker and might have destroyed Ethan’s very existence should Ember follow through on her threat. Yet, as much as I needed Ethan with every fiber of my being, as he’d become written into my soul, I could never have him.

Reaching up a hand, I wiped at the moisture that had slid down my cheeks again just as Ethan stepped out on the porch. He gazed at me through tortured eyes, his breathing ragged. “Baby, please—I need—” a sound escaped his lips, his words cutting off before coming over to me, he dropped to his knees, “Let me make love to you one last time Nicole. Please!”

I could see the pain, the desperation in his eyes, and no more able to resist the plea in his voice, than the need in my heart. I set my cup down, and taking his hand, I stood, pulling him to his feet before leading him into the house and toward the guest room. However, he halted me, turning us toward his room. “I need you in my bed, to love you at least once in it before you leave.”

Item by item we undressed each other, taking our time exploring one another with each discarded article of clothing. Laying me back on the bed, he followed me down, continuing his administrations. In his kisses, his touch, I could feel he was trying to say goodbye and felt my eyes well with moisture. I felt his sorrow through the quivering of his body, the trembling of his hands as he ran them up my thighs. Spreading them, he kissed the flesh of my inner knee, drawing it between his lips as with a slight sting, he marked me.

I moaned at the sensation, squirming beneath his touch. Fisting my hands in the bed-covers, I panted even as tears slid from the corners of my eyes. A little at a time, he worked his way upward until he was nibbling at my neck. After a few seconds of the tortures play, he put a slight distance between us and flipped me over, placing me face down on my stomach.

Displaying a breath-taking gentleness, he ran his tongue across my shoulder blades. Moving downward, he licked and kissed his way to the v of my butt before beginning to work his way up again. When he reached the nape of my neck, he pushed my hair aside, giving me another bite, this one was harder than the last, yet, soothed by a kiss.

A muffled sound reached my ears, and I swiveled my head so I could see him. However, sliding his hands beneath my abdomen, he averted his face from my eyes. Lifting me until I was on my knees, he bent me before him, spreading my legs with his knee. Leaning forward, he began sensuously kissing my back, and I heard the same soft utterance as before, however this time, the warmth of moisture joined it, and I finally recognized the sound for what it was—he was crying.

Suddenly, shifting, he gained an upright position, then easing into my folds, he laid claim to my soft femininity.

Outside the window, the storm burst forth with moisture from heaven, joining our tears of goodbye.