Chapter 24: I Don't Want To Leave You

[Dove]
Once my feet touched the floor, I moved away from him. As if his scent would scald me.

Our eyes met and my spine flamed up instantly. Holding my gaze, he closed the door and locked it.

I swallowed hard. The sharp heat flooded my head and it throbbed with a raw need: I want him to hold me; I want to feel him inside me. I clenched my hands into small fists to fight it.

He came towards me and instinctively, my heels lifted and my feet shifted backwards. Don’t come any closer. I will hurt you, Cole, my mind begged.

He paused, heaved a heavy sigh and rubbed his face. It was then I noticed the weary lines on his forehead. My eyes lifted to his unruly metallic blue and black hair and trickled down to his broad shoulders and then to his thick arms. Suddenly, I remembered that we had not seen each other for more than a week and I almost forgot how much I missed him - his hold, his touch and his kiss.

“Why would you want to leave when you keep looking at me like that?”

Realizing what I was doing, I hastily flickered to my wardrobe beside him and then returned to his angry face with a stony stare.

He took a step forward. “What did you hear, Dove?”

I took a step back and held my tongue.

When he moved again, I quickly held up a palm in his face. “Don’t!”

His head tilted in suspicion. “Don’t what, Dove.”

“Don’t come any closer,” I breathed.

“Why? Why can’t I come closer?” He took another step and I took mine.

Because I’ll hurt you - your powers will weaken because of me, I wanted to tell him everything but the words got stuck in my throat again. It was so painful to admit. I didn’t want to be a danger to him - I want to be his smile.

“Because you’ll weaken my powers? Was that what you heard, Dove?” His tender voice was softening my defenses.

I cleared my throat and kept my chin straight, silently drawing in deep breaths to steady my racing heart. I cannot let him see the effect his scent has on me.

At the thought, familiar emotions washed over me. This time it brought a ball of sadness to my eyes - I could no longer embrace his warmth, ever.

“Do you believe that you will weaken me, Dove?” The tenderness continued.

“Stop.” My lips were trembling. “Stop asking me all those questions.” My eyes were getting misty again. Damn those tears, I silently cursed and sniffed them back.

His gaze deepened with frustration. “Was that why you left?”

I tried a scoff and a cold tone. “I already told you, I left because I’m sick of this place. I’m sick of you. I don’t want to be near you. You-- you stink.”

It happened very fast. Two large strides and he had me against the wall. I could slide away and make for the door but his hands swiftly came up to each side of my head, trapping me in his warmth and scent.

Then, he leveled his electrifying gaze to mine. I swallowed silently as his warm breath tickled my nose, signaling his heavy breathing.

“Really, Dove?” He cast a sarcastic smile. “That’s the best you can do?"

My chin came up in defiance. I could no longer hide my shallow breathing.

His smile dissolved. "You can’t tell a werewolf you liked his smell and think he’ll believe all the bullshit you just said.”

Keeping my nose high, I said, “It’s not bullshit. It’s the truth and you know it.”

His face inched back as it turned serious.

Gripping my fists tightly until my knuckles went numb and ached, I continued, “It’s been more than a month, Cole, and we haven’t mated.” Ignoring his enlarged dark blue eyes, I added, “What other reason could there be?”

He studied me in silence. Then, his shoulders fell and he dropped his head and gave a deflating sigh. My view was misty once more.

I wanted him to tell me that I was wrong. I had been helplessly hanging onto a tiny bit of hope that I knew was non-existent. I would bring harm to Cole - this is the reality.

“Just let me leave, Cole.” My voice broke the long stretch of silence.

His gaze shot up at me. “No.”

“Why are you doing this? You know your powers will weaken if I--.”

“If we mated.” He quickly interjected.

My brows dipped above my nose. “What?”

“My powers will only be weakened if we mated.” He said with his eyes closed.

“What?”

“If we didn’t mate, then you can’t weaken me.”

I was dumbfounded.

He cleared his throat and removed his arms. “You can stay. As long as we don’t mate, I’ll be fine. You don’t have to leave.”

It sounded like nonsense and I told him so.

“Well, you didn’t hear the whole thing and took off,” he coughed and said, “We tried to find a solution.”

“And the solution is that we don’t mate?”

Cole gave a nod and glanced away. “Jude confirmed it.”

I blinked in disbelief.

“It’s the only way,” Cole added with hands on his hips. “Besides, it’s against the rules to return a tribute.”

I fell silent. Contrary to what I said, I really didn’t want to leave this place. I love the people here. They have become my family. I dropped my gaze and the ground became blurry.

And I don’t want to leave Cole too.

The realization was shocking. Yet it felt so right. A huge wave of relief came upon me. I finally let go of the tears.

Thick arms immediately came around me and I was pressed against the familiar warmth, comforted by my favorite scent. I cried harder. I was feeling all sorts of emotions and I couldn’t stop. The arms around me tightened, cocooning me in his embrace.

As the pressure dissipated, a reminder nudged at me. I quickly tried to pry away. “We can’t do this, Cole.”

“This is just a hug. So it’s okay,” he whispered and rested his chin on my head.

“So we can hug?”

He pulled away, held my cheeks and wiped away my remaining tears with his thumbs as he nodded.

Then, he pulled my face down and pressed his lips on my forehead.

My lashes battered in surprise. I sniffed and grabbed his arms. “Cole, we can’t--.”

“This is not mating,” he declared.

Finally, his forehead rested on mine and he searched my eyes briefly. After an inhale, he closed his eyes, exhaled slowly and whispered, “If you leave like that again, I will find you again and tie you to the oak outside.”

I nodded as he wrapped his arms around me once more.

I wondered why the stuffy feeling in my chest didn’t go away.