25: I Hate You

LILLIAN

When I went up the stairs to the master bedroom, I closed the door immediately. I did it to avoid seeing Xavier and that bitch or hearing their conversation. Else, I might throw something at them.

But curiosity got the better of me, and after pacing the room, I found myself walking toward the door. I didn't open it completely, just enough to see what was happening between them downstairs.

I couldn’t hear them, but I could see them. Clearly.

And if only watching them felt this infuriating, then I wonder how pissed I’d have been if I could hear them speak.

I had a feeling this Sarah woman liked Xavier. Even a blind person could see how much she was into him. The way she looked at him, leaned in too close when they talked, and found excuses to touch him said it all.

It was the same now. She pressed her perfect body against his, cupping his face and bringing it closer as she told him something. It was maddening to watch, even from a distance.

And the worst part? Xavier wasn’t pushing her away. He wasn’t holding her, but he wasn’t stopping her either, which really annoyed me.

Irritated, I looked away and closed the door, walking back into the room. If I stared any longer, I might have to gouge my eyes out.

It would be easier if he was holding her. Then I’d know for sure something was happening between them.

But now, I was confused, and I hated being confused.

It wasn’t like I was catching feelings for Xavier. That would be crazy, considering he took advantage of my family’s situation to control me as revenge for rejecting him when we were teenagers.

I just hated the idea of him fooling around with other women while keeping me from having my fun.

If he wanted me to respect our sham marriage, he should respect me too.

I didn’t know much about marriage, but I knew respect was key, even if we hated each other.

The door of the room opened and Xavier came in, shutting it behind him. He didn’t walk further in, leaning against the closed door but I could feel his eyes watching my every move. I decided not to meet his eyes, sorting out the things I got from Santorini with his money.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“What does it look like I’m doing, genius?” I questioned back, sarcasm dripping in my tone.

“You are not as subtle as you think,” Xavier said but I didn’t respond to him. “I knew you were eavesdropping on my conversation with, Sarah, so whatever you heard—“

“I can hardly call it eavesdropping when I didn’t hear anything, Xavier,” I cut him off mid-sentence, surprised at how calm my voice was. “You guys were definitely keeping it private, cozying up to one another to say whatever you had to do to each other. You definitely didn’t want anyone hearing you with how closely she was pressed against you.” I add, but this time, the edge in my voice was evident.

Xavier chuckled, pushing himself off the door and taking a few steps further into the room.

“Don’t tell me you are jealous of Sarah,” he said between chuckles, causing me to finally meet his eyes and I glared at him.

“You give yourself way too much credit, Xavier, thinking you are all that and I’m jealous that another woman has your attention,” I bit back.

“Well,” he shrugged. “That’s what it seems like right now. A vein in your neck is about to fucking pop,” he smirked, clearly enjoying my discomfort.

Gah! He is so infuriating!

“You want me to admit that I’m jealous?” I asked him, standing to my feet. “No, I won’t admit that because I am not jealous, Xavier Santos. But I am pissed! I am pissed that you ask me to respect this stupid marriage yet, you were the one shut down stairs, letting another woman to touch you!”
“That rule only applies to you, Lillian, not me,” he answered nonchalantly, infuriating me even more.

“Why doesn’t it apply to you?” I fired at him. “You really think you can just back orders at me and expect me to follow them when you are not even doing remotely the same. We might hate each other’s guts but this marriage is meant to be partnership.”

Xavier laughed like I said something extremely funny

“Partnership, you say? Between who?” He asked, his tone mocking and taunting.

“Between the both of us, Xavier. We are married,” I reminded him and he laughed again.

“Really?” He asked me, brows cocked up in question, or better still, a challenge. “We don’t have any partnership. A partnership would be getting married to someone that has something to offer. You, my darling Lillian have absolutely nothing to offer me.”

Ouch.

His words felt like a slap across the face.

“And whose fault is that? You took everything from me and my family!” I snapped.

“No, I did you and your family a favour by getting married to you,” he bit back, his face now contorted in a deep grimace. “If it wasn’t for me, you’d be rotting right now on the streets and begging for scraps. I saved your family!” he bellowed.

Like hell!

“No, all you did was capitalize on our downfall to exert your revenge on me for rejecting you!” I snapped back, tears welling up in my eyes.

“Maybe,” he shrugged, walking closer till he closed the distance between us and was all up in my space.

His eyes had darkened into a intense, almost predatory gaze, sending a shiver down my spine. His presence was overwhelming, his closeness intoxicating, and I found it hard to breathe, let alone think clearly.

When I tried to look away, he grabbed my chin and didn’t let me, holding it in place so that I’d have no choice but to keep my tears filled eyes on him.

His grip was a little tight, and made me wince.

“But the bottom line remains that you are mine and no one else’s,” he declared through gritted teeth. “I own you and I can do whatever I can with you. I can use you as I please because you are mine for the taking,”

His hand on my chin traveled down till they were now clamped around my neck, eliciting a sharp gasp from me. Xavier held on tight, not tight enough to choke me but tight enough to leave a mark.

“And you have absolutely no right questioning me about my choices because even though I am married to you, I can fuck whoever I want, wherever I want, whenever I want and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Hell, I’ll come back home and fuck you with my dick still coated with another woman’s wetness.”

The tears gathering in my eyes threatened to fall at those words.

“At least I’m sponsoring your life style right? You should be happy and grateful that I am still giving you the opportunity to do what you like. After all, shopping and spending money lavishly is all you will ever be good at.”

Those words pricked me to my bones.

Is that how he sees me too? A woman that offers absolutely nothing and is only good for you to spend your money on.

I thought only my father and brother would view me that way. I shouldn’t have expected anything less from Xavier. I meant he literally bough me.

"Try to defile me as an act of rebellion, I don’t have to remind you where that leads.

“I fucking hate you,” I spat out and he smirked.

“Tell me something I don’t know already,”

And with that, he let me go, walking right out of the room. I reached my hands to my neck, knowing fully well that his grip must have caused a bruise.

Asshole!