Thirty-One ◑ The Kiss

Lucille didn’t know what to do. The song and the cheers in the background were beginning to disappear, to fade into the chaos that was starting to erupt in her head.

“Cupid and Psyche were an exception to the tragedies, though,” Justin reasoned, cracking open a can of beer and taking a sip. “Like, from the start they knew they're endgame.”

“Yeah, but most deities were fickle,” Cade pointed out. “Zeus was notorious, remember? But of course, it’s not just him. The amount of myths with gods just drooling over beautiful mortal women—alarmingly high. They never settled down with just one. It caused wars and all that stuff. Hera, in particular, loved punishing the lovers of Zeus, sometimes even Zeus himself, and he kind of resented her.”

“Ah, punishments,” Shanry said with a little sarcastic laugh. “Hera made those women’s lives miserable, just because they were beautiful enough to capture a god’s attention.”

“The entire myth of Cupid and Psyche was catalyzed by Aphrodite hating Psyche for her superior looks, right?” Justin chuckled. “Man, wild times. The Greeks were even wilder.”

“You said it.” Cade touched the tip of Lucille’s nose and told her, “Come to think of it, you would have gained all the attention from the gods if you were to live in those times. If they were real too, which they’re not.”

Shanry perked up with this. “Oh, yeah! Blonde hair, blue eyes . . . these were extremely rare in the Greek times. You would’ve been all over the myths.”

The room suddenly seemed too tiny, as though the entire building had inhaled to prepare for something big. Lucille tried her best to smile and maybe make a comment about their observations, but she couldn’t string a coherent sentence. She couldn’t even breathe. All she could think about was the statements she’d just heard, and how relevant they seemed given her situation.

“Beautiful enough to attract Zeus himself,” Cade mused, pulling her close to him. “I’d fight him for you.”

“Cheese,” Shanry said, but her eyes were shining. “Look at what you did to our boss, Lucille. You turned him into a cringey cheeseball.” At Cade’s shocked expression, she added, “Please don’t fire me, I’m just—"

“Excuse me,” Lucille choked out, jerking away from Cade’s touch and walking away without waiting for their reactions.

Okay, this might just be an overreaction, she told herself as she headed towards the smoking area, which was thankfully empty. She closed the door behind her, sat in front of it, and closed her eyes. This must be just a gigantic mix-up, an epic misunderstanding. Surely she was just connecting the wrong things to the wrong person. Surely she was forgetting some key details. . . .

Lucille sighed, inhaling the cold autumn air and blocking out the distant sounds of the busy streets below. Strangely enough, she felt her heartbeat slowing down to its normal pace. The waves of thoughts inside her mind were starting to arrange themselves into neat piles, but they all led back to the past as opposed to the present.

And by the time she realized she was getting consumed by a memory, it was already too late.

She was going back to the oldest memory she had, to the day she woke up in the middle of a meadow with two gods standing before her: Dimitri and Keiran, back then called Thanatos and Phanes, the God of Death and the God of Fate.

There had been so many things that the myths had mixed up, and one of the biggest ones was about the God of Fate. People in the ancient times thought that Phanes was a primordial god for life, and that the deities for fate were three old women. But no. Fate and life were tied, basically one and the same. Tangled along with those two concepts was the inevitability of death. Fate and Death circled each other, later on solidifying into beings and taking the immortal forms of brothers, twins.

And those brothers had been Lucille’s companions that day when she woke with no memory.

“Who am I?” she had asked, her eyes still adjusting to the glaring sunlight in the meadow. It had been hazy, just a blur of shapes and colors. She hadn’t seen their faces. Not really. And she wouldn’t see anything for a long time after that. But even then, she’d known that they were deities. They’d radiated light, power. “Why am I here?”

Phanes, but now known as Keiran, had smiled. “You are here because your life has been abruptly cut by your marriage, and I wish to reward you with another chance. However, this kindness will come with a price. Be our follower, our servant, and we shall grant you powers comparable to that of an immortal. Now come. Do not fear, you are not alone.”

He’d nodded to Dimitri, who'd held out a hand to her. That first touch alone had been enough for her to feel alive again. They’d led her deeper into the forest, where she’d met another young woman—Agnes. They’d spend the next days there, learning from the two gods, taking orders and doing their bidding. Or at least, the God of Fate had had taken an active part. The God of Death had preferred to watch and observe.

But even back then, years and years and years ago, he’d acted protective towards her. He’d always been considerate, even though she’d often gotten under his skin.

Keiran had basically vanished from Lucille and Agnes’s lives the moment they’d established the purpose of their second chance, but not Dimitri. He’d visited them regularly and extended his aid wherever he could.

Was that a part of his duty? Did he do all of those things because he’d grown to care for them? Or was this his way of apologizing, after all? If so, what was he apologizing for?

Was he the reason for Lucille’s demise in the first place?

Lucille opened her eyes. She didn’t want to linger in the past anymore, but at the same time, she didn’t want to continue with her present as though nothing else existed before it. She was just longing to be free.

She wiped the tears on her cheeks, taking deep breaths to steady herself. Her fingers had gone numb from the cold. Perhaps it was time to go back inside and—

“Hello? Are you there?”

Cade’s voice from the other side of the door jolted her into focus. She hurriedly moved to the side so the door could be pushed open, all the while injecting a casual tone into her voice as she called back, “Yeah, come here!”

He did. Slowly, he slid inside with a sheepish smile, carrying two steaming mugs. “I brought us some coffee since it’s cold.”

“Thanks.” She inched further into the corner as he sat beside her and offered her one mug. “This is so sweet of you.”

Silence. He didn’t say anything. He just stared into the distance like her, cradling the warm mug between his hands. She didn’t mind the lack of conversation, though. His presence alone calmed her down, assured her too. However, she also knew very well from his fidgeting alone that he was only bracing himself for a question.

So, she wasn’t surprised when he asked, “Did I say something wrong or stupid or offensive?”

“None of the above.” Lucille sighed. “Look, it’s not you. It’s me. I have problems that I’m trying to deal with.”

Cade bit his lip. “Are you . . . Is this your way of breaking up with me or something? Well, we’re still in the process of getting together, but are you trying to break it off?”

“No, I’m just trying to warn you.” She looked down at her coffee. “I have a lot of issues. My past is . . . it’s rough, you know? There are still so many things you don’t know about me, and I’m scared they might be too much for you to handle.”

“Why don’t you try me?” he said. When she didn’t answer, he continued, “I don’t know if I haven’t emphasized this enough yet, but I like you, Lucille. I really do.”

Her heart fluttered, and cracked just a little. “You don’t even know the entirety of me.”

“I know that,” he insisted, “but I do like what I know so far.”

Lucille managed a laugh. “Would you still like me if you knew the rest?”

“Yes.”

“You sound so sure.”

“That's because I am.”

Was he, though? Was he really sure? Because Lucille knew that people had a tendency to say things they didn't mean when they're trying to woo someone. She stared at his face, trying to detect something that would give away his true intentions, but she found none.

She played with the pendant of the bracelet he'd given her.

“I don’t know what you’ve been through, and I won’t force you to tell me if you don’t want to." Cade's voice was no more than a whisper. "I’m not going to rush you into anything. I’m completely fine if you’re not ready for anything serious. I know that you’re still struggling, that there’s no timeline for it, but I’ll stick around until you’re ready.”

“Cade,” she began, but he cut her off with a smile.

“I’m serious, Lucille.” Cade turned to face her. “I don’t want to just get your trust. I want to earn it. I want you to be the one who decides if I deserve it. Until then, I will—"

That was when Lucille couldn’t take it anymore.

Her emotions were welling up, a heady mix of gratitude, guilt, and something else. Something that clouded everything around her and reduced the world into this tiny space in this tiny building. She didn't know it, but it was strong. It was familiar. It was everything she wanted.

In one fluid motion, Lucille set down the mug, held Cade's face in her hands, and firmly pressed her lips on his.