Thirty-Seven ◑ The Visit

“Are you okay?”

Lucille snapped into attention as Agnes’s question pierced through her clouded thoughts. She hadn’t noticed that Agnes was awake. She hadn’t noticed anything at all since Dimitri had vanished in a flash at the balcony. How long she’d been standing in the kitchen, she had no idea.

Her soul seemed to have been left there, particularly at the spot where he disappeared.

Still numb, grieving, confused. Yearning endlessly, it seemed. She didn't know if there would be an end to it. If there even was an end to it.

“Miss Lucille?” Agnes felt her forehead. “Are you sick? Hungover?”

“Maybe,” she answered, pursing her lips. Her diaphragm was moving in waves, but she didn’t want to worry Agnes. She forced herself to focus, and by doing so she noticed that Agnes was dressed up in tight jeans, boots, a sweater, and a thick coat. Affixed in her newly blow-dried hair was the clip Cade had given. “Wait, you’re going out?”

“Yes!” Agnes’s face lit up as she twirled around for Lucille to see. “You know the guy from the suite below ours? The one who I gave my number to?”

Lucille frowned. “The dude who talked about computers all the time?”

“Exactly,” Agnes confirmed. “He asked me out. Just this morning. Out of nowhere.”

“At this hour?”

“Miss Lucille, it's already nearly twelve. We're going for lunch! I really have to go.”

She gave Lucille a tight, one-armed hug and rushed towards the elevator with her purse bouncing around. While the sight of her all flushed and excited warmed Lucille’s heart, she still felt a stab of pain, of sadness so strong she had to close her eyes.

By letting Dimitri cut off all his ties to her, had she done the right thing? Would choosing a mortal life turn out to be a mistake? Could she truly live without him, without Keiran too?

Because they had thousands of years behind them. They weren’t the best, but they were something. Back then, they were everything to her. They’d given her a friend, a home, a life. The twins were gods, but they’d treated her as properly as they could.

Would breaking free from them the true answer to the questions of her identity? Or would she lose herself more? Was this exactly what they wanted her to think?

The suite was empty, quiet, and the lack of anything bright and lovely echoed in the growing abyss inside her body. For the first time since she’d woken up in that meadow thousands of years ago, she was alone. She walked to the living room just to avoid seeing the door to the balcony, yet it stayed printed in her sight as a rude reminder for something that hurt her for reason she was still yet to understand.

She knew that Agnes would be home eventually, but she still felt hollow. Along with the screaming emptiness was the desperation to fill the gap.

Lucille needed someone who’d be there while she wept, not necessarily to comfort and understand. Just be there. She needed someone who’d hear her even with no words.

She needed Cade.

◑≡◑≡◑≡◑

Cade’s address was still in the records because of Mia, and Lucille didn’t even think twice about driving there in this rainy afternoon.

She was on autopilot. Her body was numb, her brain just as unresponsive. The hollow space in her chest was much too loud, pulling her strings until she found herself at Cade’s apartment building, going up the elevator to his unit and waiting outside his door.

A couple of people walking by in the narrow green halls were giving her strange looks, probably because she was dressed up in her expensive clothes yet she was crouching on the floor and staring blankly at the opposite wall. Her hair was still damp from her shower and the light spatter of rain outside. It was cold, and she was shaking. That was the only thing she was feeling, though. The cold. The rest were ghosts. The people, the distant flurry of activity all around, even her own presence.

The only time she felt something spark inside her was when she saw Cade walking down the hall.

“Lucille?” He smiled instantly, even as he squinted to see her better. “What are you doing here?”

Lucille got to her feet. Heat began to creep up her whole body. Even though he was grinning while he jogged towards her, she was starting to hesitate. It only occurred to her now how creepy it must have been for her to be here. He didn’t question how she knew his place, though. He just smiled warmly at her as he approached. It only faltered when his gaze fell upon her red nose and swollen eyes.

Cade shook of the droplets of water on his coat and reached out to touch her face. “Hey, what happened?”

“It’s. . . .” She faltered, her throat closing up. Tears began to rim her eyes. “I just wanted to see you.”

“Oh, Lucille.” He planted a soft kiss on her forehead. “You want to talk about it?”

A little scared of what she’d see or how she’d react, she looked up to gauge his expression. And she nearly wept again when she saw nothing but genuine sincerity in his face.

I’m doing the right thing, a voice in her head said. This is worth it.

Lucille stood on her tiptoes and pressed a full kiss on his parted lips.

She expected him to stop her, or perhaps break it off immediately, but no. What he did was pin her against the wall and kiss her back with the kind of passion that she’d never felt from anyone before. There was heat, a blazing wave of it, pouring out from his lips and filling her up until she was gasping. She wrapped her arms around his middle, right under his coat, and reveled at the warmth from his skin escaping from under the thin fabric of his shirt. He was firm, strong. Alive. He was here, just for her and her alone. Something about his body against hers filled up the gaping chasms in her chest.

Cade’s hands traveled under her coat as well, going from her waist and way up, until his thumbs brushed the top of her breasts.

She inhaled sharply at the sudden bolt of pleasure. He stopped abruptly and pulled away.

“I’m sorry,” he said breathlessly, running a hand over his hair. “I didn’t—that was stupid of me—”

“Take me in,” she whispered.

He hesitated. “What?”

“Take me inside.” She planted a kiss on his jaw and felt him practically melt under her touch. “I want you to make love to me.”

 “Are you. . . .” His voice took on a husky quality. “Are you sure?”

Lucille kissed him again as an answer.

This time, Cade didn’t hesitate. Without breaking off their connection, he swept her up to his arms and opened his door, fumbling over the keys. She slid out of his grip once the door was locked, pulling him towards the sofa while pushing his coat down his shoulders.