Chapter 11

*Eleanor's POV*
*Two weeks later*
I walked deeper into the bush, my vision a little blurry, my legs wobbling slightly but managed to keep going. I used my hands to angrily wipe the tears off my face. My body swayed slightly, unable to keep steady. I walked further into the bush and finally arrived at my destination, a small river with rocks around it.
I walked to a big rock and sat on it sniffing lightly. I was mad, crazy, deranged, anything just name it, so I had to stay away from the castle. I know this is a big risk, especially for a 'slave' like me, but at this moment I don't care. I just want to have my own little quiet time. I needed peace, somewhere serene so I had to come here. If I had stayed an hour in that palace, I would have gone insane.
I wiped my eyes with my hands to stop the tears, you might be wondering why I am crying. Okay, I'm sick and tired of it all, my life, the palace, everything about cordenia, I'm tired of it.
For the past few weeks, I've tried to keep it all in, I've tried to be strong just like father told me, I tried not to cry cause mother said crying makes you weak, but trust me when you're being treated like an outcast from hell, like it's a sin you were born, like you're an ally to a certain person's death, like you breathing in and out gives them sleepless nights, when you're being treated like an animal, you would loose it.
This is the first time in thirteen months I'm breaking down again. When we were first taken captive, I cried for about a month, but later pulled up courage. But, right now, I don't think that courage works anymore. Yes, I tried to be brave, I tried to pretend like nothing matters anymore. I pushed away every bad they've done saying the past is all in the past. But, right now, I don't think I can hold it in anymore.
Do they know how it feels to be treated like trash? get whipped because of every single little mistake, do they know what it feels like to go on an empty stomach for three to five days, yet you cook one of the best meals for them. Do they know what it feels like to clean stupid ballroom, wash and scrubbed every crook and cranny of the palace, dig mines to get useless gold, go around serving everybody living in the palace even the maids, just to be rewarded with a food that cannot even satisfy a five years old.
For the past fourteen months, I did not want to admit this before. I tried to feel pity for them, but right now nothing in the world is going to stop me from admitting that I hate them, all of them.
The tears could not stop gushing out of my eyes like a waterfall, I could not even control the sobs that escape my throat anymore. I did not try to stop, instead I let it out, all of it. I sat there and cried my eyes out. I'm tired of this life, right now dying might be a good option.
The tears fell from my eyes down to my cloth or should I say rag.
I miss my life, my old life. I miss Narva. I miss my home, my little garden, and the tree. I miss the quietness of my home. I miss everybody. I miss my mother. I miss the old cheerful me. Not this one who's struggling to stay alive, trying to be brave, trying to hold on to the last thin thread of sanity. I could swear I'm on the verge of losing it.
These past two weeks have been hell for me. I've gone back to working the mines, working on the palace farm, working in the castle and serving every single soul that breathes there and still working for the grumpy prince who did not help matters at all.
He has been acting vile and furious for the past two weeks, always finding fault in any and every thing I do. I tried to hold on to what Nikolai said but it's really hard.
He calls me all sorts of names and even punishes me on every slightest mistake that I make. The first time, he gave me a resounding slap when I mistakenly fell a book from the table while cleaning it. I really don't think he was in his right state of mind. I mean, a book just fell, that does not even call for a pinch, talk more of a slap.
My body shuddered at the memory and my left hand unconsciously traveled up to my cheek rubbing it slightly. I remember how my cheek were hurting real bad. Thanks to Madam Helen because she noticed it when I came back from the Prince's room and she helped massage it with a soothing balm.
I definitely hate him for that.
Well, the creepiest part of these two weeks are the stares Lord Elliot gives me. Since I started fully working in the palace I see him often, he would always stare at me weirdly like he could see through my soul before giving me a creepy smile. I really don't know what's with that man.
I sniffed lightly when I realized I had stopped crying. I feel a lot better after crying. I guess I kept too much of it in, so the best was to let go
I tuck my hair behind my ear breathing in the scent of the river and nature for the first time since I got here. I felt the cool breeze caress my skin making me feel at ease. This is exactly what I need, the cool atmosphere, the quietness of the river aside from the chirping of birds. I took in a deep breath reveling in the sweet atmosphere.
I don't know when next I'm going to be here, so instead of dwelling in my pain, getting lost and crashing in my dilemma, I would just sit here and have a 'once in a lifetime' peace of mind, cause as they say opportunity comes but once.
*
*
Luciano had come to the balcony of his chambers to have a little quiet time. He was crazy or 'had gone crazy', because his time to find a bride is due and he hasn't found one yet. All the princesses he enquired about were not good enough for him, even though it was just one princess he asked about, and a daughter from one of the nobles in Cordenia.
He had come here to have a little peace of mind when he sighted Eleanor running out of the castle into the bush. He was at an alarm when he saw her, thinking she was trying to escape, but then he noticed how badly she was crying. He does not understand what he felt at that moment but he does know it's his heart betraying him. He still can't place his hands on what he felt at the moment, he refused to believe he felt a pang of guilt and pity course through him.
Why would he feel pity for an ordinary slave? A slave from the kingdom that murdered his brother, but his stupid heart wouldn't listen, instead it kept on clenching hard in guilt for the young slave maiden. These days he doesn't understand his heart anymore.
He heard the door to his room, creaked open, then he heard footsteps approaching the balcony.
He turned around and groaned lightly. This is definitely the last person he wants to see or speak to right now.
"Happy to see me Nephew??"