Chapter CXLV: Hidden pain
Isabella sat propped against the pillows, her expression distant, though she was visibly shaken. The healers had done their best to comfort her, assuring her that it was still early, and her body would recover. But those words felt hollow—the pain had passed, but so had her baby. One of the healers said softly, “We’re sorry we couldn’t save your baby, my queen.”
Isabella nodded in thanks, her voice muted as she replied, “Thank you. I know you did all you could.” The healers quietly departed, leaving her alone with her grief and the emptiness in her heart. Alicent remained by her side, brushing a gentle hand over Isabella’s hair as if to soothe away her sorrow.
Isabella took a shaky breath. “I’m fine now, really,” she murmured, though the words seemed more for herself than Alicent.
Alicent sighed, her eyes full of quiet concern. “Isabella… It’s the third one.”
A look of pain flashed across Isabella’s face, and she clenched her fists. “I know,” she whispered, barely audible.
“You should tell him,” Alicent urged gently.
“No,” Isabella replied firmly, though her voice trembled. “He doesn’t need to know.”
Alicent’s tone grew softer but insistent. “Isabella, you’re suffering. Three miscarriages in one year. Maybe… Maybe it’s time to give yourself a break, to let yourself heal.”
“I can’t, Alicent. I need another child,” Isabella said, her voice tight.
“You have four already,” Alicent insisted, searching her friend’s face. “Four healthy, beautiful princes. More than most women could ever hope for.”
“If I don’t… If I don’t conceive another child, it means they’re right!” Isabella’s voice broke, and she turned away, a single tear slipping down her cheek.
“What are you talking about?” Alicent asked, frowning.
Isabella exhaled a shaky breath, wiping away her tears. “You know… They say… They say I’m cursed,” she admitted. “That I’m being punished because… Because I conceived Kai while I was still married to Pallor.”
Alicent shook her head in disbelief. “You can’t honestly believe that.”
“I don’t know,” Isabella replied, her voice barely a whisper. “Maybe… Maybe it’s true. Maybe I am cursed.”
Taking her hand, Alicent looked her in the eyes. “Kai is not a bastard, Isabella. It was complicated, yes, but you didn’t do anything worse than what most kings do freely.” Alicent’s tone was fierce yet compassionate, and Isabella managed a faint smile, brushing away the last of her tears.
“You have a beautiful family,” Alicent continued gently. “If the Dragon King himself doesn’t care about these cruel whispers, why should you?”
Though her chest still felt tight, Isabella’s expression softened. “Thank you, Alicent. For being here.”
Alicent gave her a half-smile, attempting to lighten the mood. “My duty and my greatest honor is to care for your babies—the living and the dead ones,” she teased.
Isabella laughed, though it was thin. “That’s an awfully cruel joke!” she chided, managing a chuckle.
“But you laughed,” Alicent pointed out, her eyes warm. She grew serious again. “You should still tell the king, Isabella.”
Isabella sighed, a heaviness in her expression. “It would only break his heart. He suspected I was pregnant early this year, and he was right. We were both so happy… And then, when I lost it, he was devastated. The second time, I didn’t even confirm it to him; I wanted to be certain… And I lost that one too. And now…”
Alicent’s eyes softened. “He could at least be here to support you, to share your pain.”
Isabella nodded. “He would believe it’s his fault, that he’s doing this to me.”
“Well,” Alicent pointed out gently, “he is doing this to you, Isabella. He just doesn’t know because you won’t tell him.”
They were both startled by the sound of the door opening. Alaric stepped in, his gaze shifting between the two women. He greeted Alicent, who rose from the bed and bowed respectfully.
“Good evening, Alicent,” he greeted her, his voice steady.
Alicent rose from the bed, bowing gracefully. “Your Majesty.” She gave Isabella a knowing look, then curtsied to them both. “If you’re here, my king,” Alicent said smoothly, “it means I should get the little ones ready for bed. Goodnight, my queen. Your Majesty.” She slipped out of the room, leaving them alone.
Alaric crossed the room to Isabella’s side, sitting beside her on the bed. He took her hand, his brow creased with concern. “Are you alright?” he asked, his voice soft. “You don’t seem alright.”
Isabella managed a warm smile, though her heart ached beneath it. “You worry too much, my love. I’m just a little tired.” Alaric chuckled, easing some of the tension between them. “Did the children finally tire out?” she asked.
“Oh, yes. I carried the four of them upstairs,” he said, grinning. “They passed out completely at the table.”
Isabella laughed softly. “They’re lucky to have such a strong father to carry them like this.”
Alaric leaned forward, his lips brushing hers tenderly. Isabella closed her eyes, letting the warmth of his presence wash over her. She pulled back gently, saying, “Undress and wash yourself. It’s late… We should sleep.”
“As you wish, my queen,” he murmured, his voice soft with affection as he rose to do as she asked. And though Isabella’s heart still held a quiet sorrow, she knew that for tonight, she could rest in his love.
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