Chapter 20: Routine

Seraphina

One week has passed since we almost caved into our desires. Since then the closest we’ve come to touching is when he places his hand at the small of my back, as we enter and exit.

The more he resisted, the more my body craved him. Some time I’d watch him across the table and wonder if that’s what he wanted. Did he want me to be so riled up with desire that I’d beg for him to fuck me? If so, I wouldn’t dare give him that satisfaction.

But like any couple, we’d developed a routine.

He went to work, and then just before he would get off work I’d go spend time with gran, and then he’d pick me up. We’d go to a high-end restaurant and share dinner, appearing to be happy and in love.

The paparazzi ate up every performance, but then we’d go home and the cameras were off. So were we. He’d run off to his study, and I took my seat on the couch watching television.

Even though I was no longer home alone, I felt more alone than I thought was possible.

Tomorrow is Dimitri’s birthday and the Valor luncheon. At least I’d have some human interaction there.

I awoke to get my day started and the first stop was to see gran. Since I was unsure of how long we’d be at the luncheon, I had to be certain I spent some time with her.

I exited my bedroom, being sure to lightly close the door behind me. I made sure the action was quiet so I wouldn’t wake him, but to my surprise he was awake and standing right in front of me.

“Good morning.” his voice was sticky sweet as he spoke the greeting.

“Good morning.” I answered before swallowing hard as he stood in nothing but a towel.

Every inch of him is dripping in either beads of water or sweat. How I wish I was that lucky to be that close to him.

How could one be so envious of something so simple?

“Happy birthday.” I said, shutting my eyes so I could even for a moment get my thoughts under control.

“Thank you, where are you headed?”

“I-I’m going to see gran and then prepare for tonight. For your big day.” I replied as I tried to look at anything but him.

That was impossible as he filled everything around me.

“Oh I see, although this is my day I’m sure you will be the main event.” he said stepping closer taking my hand into his. “Everyone will need to know who you are and how you tamed the beast.” he kissed my finger after the last word. “I need you next to me every second and every moment tonight. I hate these things and you’re the perfect distraction.”

I could only nod my head with how intense his gaze was at this moment. This was the closest we’d been in a week and my body was reacting like she was about to get the fix she’d been hoping for.

“I have to go.” I said in a breathy tone.

“Yes, of course.” he said, stepping closer to me.

“I need,”

My hand was still in his as I leaned into him a little more. I have never been so vulnerable around another human being as I was around Dimitri. I was his and it.

He buried his head in the crook of my neck. “Tell me what you need.” The sound of his voice was a mix of sweet desperation, anger, and frustration.

He dragged his lips across my skin and then lifted his head to look me in the eye. His eyes were once again impenetrable. They probed mine with such intensity that both scared me yet made me want to give him anything he’d ask of me. More than my hand in a fake marriage.

The doorbell sounded and interrupted the moment I’d been praying for.

“You should go, but I’ll see you tonight.” he said as he placed a kiss to my cheek before retreating to his bedroom.

I’ve realized that this would never happen, and it would be better if it didn’t. I exited the home and entered the limo, which had become my form of transportation to just about everywhere.

Things have changed.

Change is inevitable, and I knew that things would shift between me and Dimitri once I gave into my desire. Men only chase women until they get what they want, and once I cave I’ll be another one of his forgotten women.

Once we announce our engagement it will be time to plan, and then soon after marriage comes divorce.

I let out a heavy sigh as we arrived at gran’s home and I’m once reminded why all this is important.

“Hey gran, how are you feeling today?” I say as I walk over to sit next to her on the couch.

“Symphony, do better for that baby in there and try not to be so loud she’s sleeping.”

I look over at Viola, as we watch my grandmother hush me, thinking she’s speaking to my mother. Days like this, I listen instead of trying to convince her of who I am. Many times before, this only leads to confusion and anger.

“Fetch my brush Symphony and sit. Let momma brush away your troubles.” I do as instructed and lay as gran brushes my hair and hums an unfamiliar tune.

I was fighting back tears as she stroked my hair with such care. I wished like hell that there was a way for me to take the disease away from her entirely, but there wasn’t.

Only thing I could do was enjoy every moment we have left.

My phone vibrating startled me, and I realized I had dozed off. It was Celeste confirming that they have delivered my dress. I stood up and kissed gran on the forehead and placed her blanket over her legs.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said to Viola before I headed out of the apartment into the hall.

The limo was waiting, and I was glad to see it for once so I could hide away from everyone. I couldn’t keep the tears from streaming as I looked out the window.

You don’t know pain until the person you love the most looks at you and doesn’t recognize you.

I arrived home to find the house full of men and women. Their sole purpose was to get me dressed for the big event.

Standing in front of the mirror I modeled the one of a kind gown. Ruby red with an asymmetrical neckline but the star of the dress was the back. It dipped low enough to be on the right side of provocative. It also meant that when Dimitri would place his hand at my lower back, I’d feel the heat of his palm.

The dress was like a second skin, the way it hugged my body. The red was a beautiful contrast against my honeyed skin. I looked absolutely stunning I thought as I stood in the mirror.

I knew I’d seem different from just about every woman there, and not just because of my skin. Most women would have an elegant lengthy hairstyle while mine was unique. The stylist gave me finger waves all around except for the right front side, which was adorned in beautiful curls.

He was right. I would have everyone’s attention, but I only hoped I’d have his.