CHAPTER 22: If You Fall, You Lose

CLAIRE’s P.O.V.

If I fall, I lose. That’s the first thing I thought when I entered Darren’s world. But if it’s him, I’m willing to take the risk. Having him wasn’t so bad after all. Playing his game is worth it, I’ll admit it. And there’s so much more possibilities that’s waiting for the both of us. But one thing is for sure... And that is I already fallen in love with him.

“Where have you been?” Dad asked, as soon as I stepped inside of our house. Thank God he’s fine now.

“Uhm... Work?” I answered, unsure.

“And what exactly is your work, Claire?” he asked, his voice was full of authority.

“I’m still a teacher, Dad.”

“Then who sent us those items?” He pointed towards our kitchen table, full of goods and other stuff.

“I did.”

“How come?”

“Dad, let me explain...”

“I don’t want to hear any of your explanation, Claire. Just please stop. Stop whatever it is that you’re doing before it gets worst and you regretted it.”

He turned around, not bothering to ask me the truth. Is this deal really comes with a package of regret in the end? Cause if it is... I don’t want to think about it anymore.

Weekend passed by unexpectedly fast. First thing I knew, it was already Monday and I have to come to our school again in order to work. I saw Elijah by the parking space, standing there while smiling mischievously at me.

“Good morning, Teacher Claire.”

“Morning.”

“How are you and my best friend doing?” he asked as he wiggled his brows.

“What do you mean?”

“Did you two finally decided to make everything real?”

I stopped walking as my Dad’s word came back to my mind. Everything about me and Darren... It will somehow end soon and I will be left alone... Broken. I don’t want that to happen. That’s why maybe we need to stop this deal before I fall deeper in love with him. Before I get myself too attached to whatever it is that we have right now.

“Are you alright?” Elijah asked, a worried expression plastered upon his face.

“Y-yeah.”

“You look pale. Did you already ate your breakfast?”

“No,” I blankly stated.

“Let’s have something then, before our classes start.”

“No, thank you. I’m not hungry.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sick or something?”

“Nope.”

“Do you want me to call Darren for you?”

I glared at him, and he surprisingly shut his mouth for the first time today.

“Please stop asking too much questions. I need to go now. Excuse me.”

I left him there alone, his mouth still hanging open because of surprise. I forced to kick out the guilt and continue to walk through the hallways to go to my first class. I didn’t bother to put my stuffs at the teacher’s lounge because I’m pretty sure that Elijah’s there. I just don’t want to hear something about Darren for now. I can’t, after what Dad had told me earlier.

Lunch break. I helped the children ate their foods before I finally decided to went to the Cafeteria in order to grab something for lunch. I chose my meal and peacefully sat at one of the tables there. It felt nice for a moment, having a peace of mind in a short span of time in order to relax. Or so I though, cause right after I sighed heavily, I saw Elijah rushing towards me.

“Claire!” he called out. I just sighed again.

“What now?” I asked, bored.

“I’m sorry to disturb your meal. But Darren just called me earlier. He said that his Dad will be coming home later tonight and you need to sleep over their mansion.”

I look at him, feeling uneasy at the thought that I’m going to see Darren again.

“Hey, Claire...” He waved his hand in front of my face.

I didn’t notice that I was already lost in my own thoughts, only realizing that I’m looking weird in front of my co-worker slash my fake husband’s best friend.

“I’m sorry. What is it again?” He just chuckled.

“I said, meet me after our class later this afternoon at the teacher’s lounge. I’ll take you to Darren. Is that okay with you?”

“Yes,” I quickly answered in order to end our conversation.

“Claire... Are you sure you’re alright? You’re looking uneasy ever since this morning,” he said seriously.

“I’m sorry... I just... There’s so much to think about.”

“Like what?”

I just laughed to myself. Of course he’ll ask. I put everything on my tray before standing up.

“Please don’t mind me. This day is just... Very exhausting.”

He nodded to himself before letting me escape in our conversation. Though I didn’t ate that much, I still don’t felt any hunger in my stomach. Maybe it was because of the fact that I couldn’t think straight anymore.

All I could think of as of this moment is how will I tell Darren to end this deal. I don’t want to be trapped in this game forever while accepting a never ending defeat. I thought I was ready to risk everything for his love... But I was wrong. Dead wrong.

I dialed his number and to my surprise, he answered it too quickly. I felt excited hearing his voice for a moment but it vanished as soon as I came back to my senses. I need to tell him now.

“Darren...” I trailed off.

“Yes, wife?”

“I... Uhm...” I couldn’t say anything.

I can’t find the right words to use while telling him how I feel. Maybe I need to tell him about this personally.

“Do you want me to fetch you up later instead of letting Elijah take you here?”

So it’s true. I confirmed it. I really need to be there tonight. His Dad will surely be suspicious if I didn’t came. I need to help him.

“No, I’m fine with Elijah... I just...”

“What?” he curiously asked.

“Nothing. Bye, Darren.”

He was about to say something but I quickly turned off the phone. I just sighed harshly while massaging my temples. Out of frustration, I burst out into tears.

After fixing myself, I went to my class, trying to put on a facade of enthusiasm in front of my students. Gladly, I felt like my work ended earlier that as usual. I decided to come to the teacher’s lounge to meet Elijah.

I’m currently walking through the hallways when Elijah rushed towards me, catching his breath. He look worried and shocked at the same time.

“Claire! Darren is...” Panicked rushed through me as soon as I heard his name.

“What happened?”

“He told me that he wanted to pick you up here because he’s worried about you earlier... But then...”

My heart throbbed in nervousness and guilt.

“What is it, Elij?” I asked, tears started to get in the way of my sight.

“I just received a call... He had an accident, Claire. It was severe and we need to get there as soon as possible.”

“What?!” I cried.

“Come on.”

He ran towards his car and I quickly followed him even though my knees are trembling so bad. We got ourselves inside of the car and drove all the way from our school to the hospital. I was crying the whole trip and I couldn’t contain myself anymore. When we arrived at our destination, I let Elijah talk to the person at the front desk of the hospital before following him inside of the elevator.

“Don’t worry, Claire... Everything’s going to be fine soon,” he assured me.

I can’t even nod right now. This is all my fault. If only I haven’t called him, this wouldn’t happen. Maybe he’s so worried about me that he rushed to our school just to see how I’m doing.

Confusion invaded my system as the elevator doors opened. We’re not at the hospital floor anymore. We are now at the rooftop, with lights set up gorgeously everywhere and there’s a table at the center of the floor.

“Elijah?” I look at him, still crying and confused.

He pointed towards another direction, and there, I saw him standing straight and alive while holding a bouquet of roses. All the pain and worries suddenly disappeared. It all faded away like nothing bad happened. It feel so good seeing him safe and smiling.

Even if I’m still confused, I manage to run towards him and hug him very tight. There, I cry in his arms and let myself be embraced by his warmth.

“Whoa...” He chuckled, surprise.

“I guess I’ll leave you two alone,” Elijah stated, disappearing from the view.

“Hey, wife,” he started.

I looked up at him, feeling betrayed. I punched his chest several times as I try to contain my tears but I couldn’t. He laughed at me, the sound of it making me more mad.

“You liar!” I shouted to his face.

“Whoa. Sorry, wife. Did I make you that worried?” He look at me straight in the eyes.

“Of course, damn it! Damn you! I thought it was all true... I thought I lost you forever...” I burst out into tears again.

He pulled me closer to him before giving me a tight hug. I felt the beating of his heart fastened as I buried my face on his chest.

“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to make you cry or hurt you like this. I just want to surprise you. Elijah told me that you looked uncomfortable the whole day. I just wanted to make you happy,” he explained.

I felt him planted a several kiss on my forehead before hugging me tighter than before. I hugged him back, not wanting him to see my crying face. But he grabbed it and wiped away all the tears on my cheeks using his thumb.

“I know you’re thinking about something. Whatever it is, please don’t worry that much. Cause maybe I’m thinking the same thing too, wife. I don’t want to make you unhappy. So please stop crying now...”

Instead of answering him, I tiptoed to reach his face. I kissed him, without thinking another thought. He was surprise for a moment but after a few seconds, he managed to composed himself and kiss me back. We pulled away after that kiss, both panting and catching our breaths.

I look at him and smile, glad that he did the same. I buried my face to his shoulder, ashamed of what I’ve aggressively done. I felt his lips on my hair before I heard him whispering something to me...

“That was amazing.”