Chapter 47: The Decision

Laurel woke up with a headache. She supposed she should have expected it after running around most of the night. She wanted to stay in bed, but she had work to do. She dragged herself out of bed and through getting ready before going downstairs to the dining room of the inn.
“Laurel!” Eden called, waving at her. He stood from his table, “Care to join me for breakfast?”
She smiled at him and nodded. She didn’t have much of an appetite, but she didn’t want him to worry.
“You look a little better than you did yesterday.”
She didn’t believe that for a second, “Really?”
Eden hummed as she looked at the plate of food that was set before her and sighed. Her mind turned to Adolph’s proposal. He said it was all a lie, but he hadn’t explained anything more than that. How was she supposed to believe him?
“I… wanted to say this yesterday,” Eden said, drawing her from her thoughts. His tone seemed a little hesitant and a little bitter. “If I were to leave the imperial city, would you like to come with me?”
Moon goddess save her from men’s spontaneous requests!
“What?”
Eden’s cheeks flushed, “Well, I'm not a werewolf. I’m just a merchant. When I'm done with my business, I will leave…”
Laurel nodded and the thought saddened her a bit.
“I thought about how interested you seemed in the world. You’re an independent and free-spirited girl. I thought you might like to see the world beyond the werewolf kingdom.”
Laurel remembered the wonderful stories Eden had told her about his travels. The world beyond the kingdom seemed fascinating. His life seemed wonderful, being able to travel freely and see so many new things to see every day. It certainly seemed like a more ideal life than the one she had now.
Laurel frowned at him, “That’s very nice of you, Eden, but why? Why me?”
“Well,” Eden’s flush turned brighter. “I like you, Laurel. When I first met you, you were different than any woman I’d ever met. You’re brave and independent. You stand up to people who are stronger than you… But, you seem trapped here.”
“Trapped?” Laurel asked with a gasp of fear.
“You always seem to be forced to do things you don't like.” Eden lifted a shoulder in a little shrug. “I just… I just think you’re better when you’re smiling, and you don’t seem to be doing that here.”
Laurel worried her lip meeting his gaze. He reached out and took her hand. She gasped feeling there was more to this than she originally thought.
“Come with me,” Eden said. “The journeys of a merchant will surely bring you more freedom and joy than helping to run a kingdom.”
I couldn’t handle it if you were to just vanish somewhere I couldn’t find you.
Her stomach turned at the thought as she heard Adolph’s haunted voice in her ear. She stood and pulled away from Eden.
“Eden, I—”
“I’m sorry!” Eden winced and reached out to her, “It was quite a shock, wasn’t it? I'm not leaving right away. I still have business in the Imperial City.”
Laurel eyed him cautiously and nodded stiffly.
“I-It's just an offer,” Eden assured with a tense smile. “But I hope you'll think about it.”
Laurel said nothing but excused herself from breakfast and headed back to her room as quickly as she could manage. She sighed, looking out the window.
Adolph or Eden?
Choosing Adolph was a choice to stay. It meant remaining in the palace and taking on the duties of the luna formally. It meant being with her mate and always dealing with the shadow of Olivia and the memory of Laura.
Choosing Eden would mean freedom. It meant leaving the Imperial City and probably never coming back, but would it be happiness? If she left, would Laura’s spirit ever be put to rest?
She wished it was a simpler choice to make and groaned, resting her head against the glass. How was she supposed to choose?
The door opened behind her and she turned to see Sarah coming into the room.
“Oh, thank goodness!” Sarah cried, pressing a hand to her chest before crossing the room to take her hands. “Laurel, are you alright?”
Laurel smiled at her. She’d almost forgotten. She had let Sarah remain with Sam when she wasn’t on duty. She probably only just heard that Laurel had left the castle in tears.
“How did you know?”
“They were saying a man took you away. It had to be Mr. Bloomfield, so I came here.”
Laurel hugged Sarah, leaning into her strength, “Thank you, Sarah.”
Sarah frowned, worrying her lip as she embraced Laurel. She knew that Delia and Basil could be harsh, but she’d seen Laurel stand up to them before. She guessed it was worse than before. She sighed, knowing that Laurel would find the strength to face them again and not be driven out of the castle in tears by their hateful words.
“Sarah?” Laurel asked, her voice was hesitant. “….if I want to leave the imperial city to travel... Do you think that's a wise choice?”
“Where are you going?” Sarah asked. “Will you ever come back?”
Laurel shook her head, “I don't know...”
Sarah gasped, a pang in her heart and she tightened her grip on Laurel as if she could keep her there.
“B-But what am I going to do when you're gone? What about the work at the castle?”
Laurel sighed and pulled back from Sarah and began to pace the room. She didn’t think about Adolph. Sarah was right. The work of the luna was important and if Adolph hadn't lied to her, perhaps he had intended to give her luna's work little by little. Whether Adolph loved her or not had nothing to do with the fact that he seemed to want her to be the luna. Delia was incapable of handling the work. There was no one else in the castle who could handle it, she knew that from her past life.
If she just left, Adolph would be left to find a solution on his own and likely fail. The idea didn’t sit right with her.
But why?
She huffed as anger began to build and she clenched her fists.
“Why me?” she asked herself.
Why did it have to be her? In her past life, it had to be Laura. In this life, it had to be Laurel. Hadn’t she done enough for the men of the Raymond family? For all that she’d done, how was she repaid?
Basil was a cruel, spiteful jerk, and Adolph was a violent, ruthless, killer who had never once mistreated her.
She groaned. What was she supposed to do?
Alice chuckled, *Be yourself.*
She looked to Sarah again who seemed unable to answer.
“What do you think, Sarah? Am I fit to be luna?”
Sarah looked at her blankly. She didn’t know how to answer that question. She couldn’t even guess why Laurel would ask such a thing, but she deserved an honest answer.
Sarah considered it, thinking of Laura before offering her a tense smile.
“I do not know, Laurel.” She sighed, “I used to think there was no one better suited to be luna than the late luna, Laura, but she wasn't happy... Every she-wolf wants to be luna, the mistress of the empire. They think it’s a fairytale existence in which they won’t have to do any work.”
Sarah turned to the window thinking back to the long days of Laura seated at her desk looking over reports and running around the city to oversee her initiatives.
“After serving the late luna, I know that to sit in that seat, you need to give much more than others... It's a lot harder than being a maid!”
Laurel chuckled a little. Sarah was right. She had worked much, much harder than anyone to try and be a competent luna. When she’d been Laura she had only been Basil’s wife, a stand-in for his mother because Adolph wasn’t married. As Laurel, she would be standing beside Adolph.
It was a much bigger seat in this lifetime than it had been in the last. She didn't know if she really wanted to do it, or if she was just stepping up to take on the responsibility that had suddenly fallen on her shoulders.
She supposed it wasn’t much different than when she’d done it before except this time no one could force her to take that position, not even Adolph could force her.
She had to choose it for herself. She looked out the window, heart full of turmoil. Could she do this? Could she face the ministers and the nobles again alone?
Her jaw trembled as she thought back on Adolph’s confession. She wouldn’t be alone this time. Adolph would be with her.
Laurel slowly clenched her fist and made her decision.