Amapola

I was sad that we had to return; Palermo turned Salvatore into a different person, and his change was evident.
On the jet, as he insisted on calling it, I could already feel the shift in him. Although he held my hand and tried to reassure me, the man sitting next to me on the plush seat was no longer my *mio angelo*; he had transformed into Salvatore Dalla Costa, the boss of the Italian mafia.
When we arrived home, we were greeted by Angela, whom I began to call Naná as well, since that was what he called her sometimes. I wanted to feel close to someone else besides him.
We were both tired, and after dinner, we quickly went to bed. He said I would sleep with him, but I asked for all my things to be left in "my" room. I wanted to have my own personal space, a place I could escape to if necessary.
When I woke up in the morning, Salvatore was already gone, and I felt... disappointed. What did I expect from this man? Did I want to wake up and find him next to me? If he wasn’t there, did I expect to find a love note, flowers, and chocolates to compensate for his absence?
Maybe that was really what I expected, but I needed to accept that I wouldn’t have it. Salvatore would never do something like that. Even though he could be a different person when we were alone, his essence would never change. I needed to get used to that.
After taking a shower and putting on a pair of jeans, a simple top, and sneakers, I went downstairs for breakfast. I felt upset about being alone and could barely eat anything, realizing the extent of the problem—rejecting food was definitely not typical for me.
I decided to explore the property, strolling through the rooms of the mansion and becoming enchanted by each one. The only place I didn’t enter was his office; that was his sacred territory, and I wouldn’t invade his space, even if he invaded mine constantly.
I walked through the garden I had admired and fell in love with the care evident in every corner. It felt like being in paradise, but the peace of the place didn’t reach my heart.
I sat for a long time on one of the intricately carved wooden benches, staring at the sky. The cool breeze brushed my face while the sun worked to warm me. I was fine, but I wasn’t at peace.
I had lunch alone again and locked myself in my room. I managed to sleep a little in the afternoon; I still hadn’t recovered from the intense activities of the past few days.
“Amapola?” I heard Naná’s voice and her gentle knocks on the door.
“Come in,” I said while brushing my hair after taking a shower. I had put on a loose pink dress, applied lotion, and put on a light lipstick. I wanted to look nice for him when he arrived; I had spent the whole day alone, and his company would be welcome.
“The dinner is served.”
“Did Salvatore arrive?” I asked, smiling.
“No, *bambina*.” My smile faded immediately. “He usually arrives later,” she explained.
“It's fine, Naná. I’ll be down soon,” I said, and she understood that I wanted some time alone.
I threw myself onto the bed, tears filling my eyes. How could I live like this? I wondered, but I found no answer.
I went downstairs to eat; I had hardly eaten anything today, and I wouldn’t reject another meal because of him.
I returned to my room, stopping by the library to grab a book. Reading might distract me, but I realized I was mistaken when I dragged a chair closer to the window and couldn’t concentrate on a single line. My eyes were glued to the driveway, waiting for him to arrive.
I watched the minutes pass slowly, and around ten-thirty at night, my heart raced as I saw his car park in front of the house, and he stepped out dressed in one of his expensive suits.
Anticipation gnawed at me inside when I heard footsteps on the stairs, but I felt disheartened when I realized he didn’t come to see me, even though he had arrived about an hour ago.
I set my wounded pride aside and went to his room, searching everywhere for him but finding no trace. Had he left without me noticing?
I descended the stairs, looking for him in every room, but I couldn’t find him.
Breathless, I stopped in front of his office, leaning my ear against the door, trying to detect any noise that would indicate he was inside, but I heard nothing. I wondered where he could be, knowing for sure he hadn’t left since I’d seen him from the window.
Fearing the worst, I turned the doorknob of his office, thinking he had to be in there.
“What do you think you’re doing, girl?” His wonderful scent of a shower and expensive cologne hit me quickly, just like his harsh words and closed expression.
“I was looking for you,” I said, a bit nervously.
“Did you find me? Now get out and don’t come back into my workspace,” he said, his words striking me like sharp knives. I didn’t understand why he was treating me this way.
“Salvatore? Did I do something to upset you?” I asked, trying to understand.
“No, Amapola, you didn’t do anything. I just need to be alone right now; I had a full day, and I still have a lot to sort out, so just stay quiet and leave.”
“But I thought I could help you…”
“You think too much, Amapola, and I don’t want to know what you’re thinking. I already have enough problems, so spare me,” he snapped.
“And what do I have to do with your problems? Why are you taking it out on me? I just wanted to see you and know how you were. I was alone all day.”
“You have nothing to do with my problems; that’s why I asked you to leave. The longer you stand there in front of me, the more time I waste, and the less I get done with my work.”
“I thought I could stay with you for a bit,” I tried once more.
“Don’t waste your time, Amapola; I won’t be good company for you today,” he warned.
“So that’s it? I’m still your prisoner, but now I have to be available whenever you want to be with me?” I asked irritably, doing exactly the opposite of what he said and stepping further into his workspace.
“You’re not my prisoner anymore; I told you that. I thought you understood,” he growled in my direction.
“Am I not? Are you sure, Salvatore?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “The only difference I see is that now my prison is more spacious, and I can wander around it, but I’m still trapped here.”
“Don’t start, Amapola. I don’t have patience for this kind of discussion. To make it clear, I don’t argue; I give orders, and people follow.”
“Just like that, right? A flock of lambs ready to obey their shepherd's will.”
“Yes, Amapola, exactly like that,” he said, irritated, pressing his palms on the desk. “Look, my secretary's father had a heart attack; I had a terrible day, and after what happened on Friday, the local police are sniffing around the casino like trained dogs. I need to resolve all of this somehow, so don’t irritate me further, and get out of here.”
“I could try to help you,” I said, realizing he truly seemed exhausted.
“Help me?” He laughed, or rather, he scoffed at me. “Don’t be foolish, girl; how could you be of any use to me? You haven’t even graduated from college.”
“I was about to graduate, Salvatore. Don’t belittle me. If I didn’t finish my studies, it wasn’t for lack of will or determination. I know my capabilities, and no one will convince me otherwise.”
“I didn’t mean that,” he said, lowering his voice.

“ You didn’t mean it, but you said it, didn’t you? To you, I only serve in bed, like one of the girls at the casino.”
“ Amapola.” His tone was reprimanding.
“ But don’t worry; just like them, I slept with you because I wanted to. I understand that.”
“ Don’t belittle yourself, *ragazza*.”
“ You’re the one who belittled me, Salvatore, with your harsh words and rough gestures. Don’t expect me to bow down to you like the others. Take my life if you want, but if you keep me alive, you’ll never be able to keep me quiet.”