Chapter 14

She pecked his lips and got off.
“You can open your eyes now.”
“Was that it?”
“Yeah.”
“But...”
“Hey, you promised you wouldn't complain or want more.”
“You planned this, didn't you?”
“This is what happens when you think with your dick instead of your brain.”
“Aren't you the one who started this? And you didn't even finish it.”
“I got you those porno mags for a reason. There's also this thing called a bathroom. Go and jerk yourself off in there.”
“And here I was hoping you'd jerk me off.”
“Maybe in another universe. Wait a minute, aren't you the one who also didn't finish what they started a while back?”
“I did say that was your punishment.”
“Then consider this your punishment.”
“You're so mean.” He pouted.
But she wasn't listening and seemed to be in deep thought.
“Are you listening?”
“Huh? What was that?”
“Are you thinking about me that much?”
“Yeah sure, let's go with that.” She rolled her eyes.
“But seriously, what's up?”
“Nothing.”
“You know; I can tell something's up. You've been zoning out a lot for the past week. Something's obviously bothering you.”
“It's nothing.”
“I'm guessing it must be about Trey, right?”
She nearly threw herself off the couch.
“How do you know about him?”
“Your dad.”
“I'm guessing he told you the whole story then.”
“No, just that he was the jerk off who broke your heart.”
“Maybe I won't stab him after all.”
“Do you want to tell me about him?”
“I guess it's about time. Believe it or not, he had to do with what happened to me a year ago.”
She paused for a moment, it looked like she was deciding whether she should say more or not.
“It's ok if you don't want to continue.”
“Oh no, I was deciding if I should cut out the violent parts because now that I think about it, what I did was messed up, even by my standards. It was the kind of thing you'd only see in horror movies.”
“You can tell me anything. Besides, it can't be that bad.”
“Don't say I didn't warn you.” She took a deep breath. “Let me start by explaining the concept of mates.” She explained the whole thing and how it works. “Basically, they are soulmates that you can find via their scent.”
“I get it.”
“The thing is, Trey is... was my mate.”
“Wait, but you were sixteen, right?”
“Yeah, so?”
“But you said wolves don't know who their mates are until they're able to shift, which doesn't happen until they've transitioned. Which also doesn't happen until they're eighteen. So, how?”
“Oh right, I didn't mention that wolves who are of Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta or Epsilon bloodlines can shift earlier than other wolves. So, we're able to shift before we transition and with that comes sharper senses. I first shifted when I was 12 so you could say that I was “ripe for the taking”. But sometimes you get wolves that transition prematurely at 17. Anyway, as I was saying, he was my mate. I knew that I was supposed to be paired with an Alpha; I was just surprised that it was him and that I found my mate so soon.”
She went on to explain who he was and what happened on that fateful day. She didn't leave anything out, not even what she did to Yui.
“Imagine the one person who was literally made for you, supposed to be your other half and complete you in a way that no one else can and yet wants nothing to do with you. I’m over it, but I still feel like a monster for how I reacted to it. I know it happened a long time ago, but I still hate myself for it. His dad said it was ok, but I think he only said it to make me feel less guilty and deep down he hates me. And I'm pretty sure everyone else feels the same way.”
It was then that she felt a little wetness on her face; she didn't realize that tears were streaming down her cheeks the whole time. That's when she broke down into more tears. Takumi pulled her into a hug.
“I'm sure no one hates you.”
“You don't hate me?” She asked between sobs.
“How can I hate the girl I love? Especially when she's like this.”
“You love me?”
“Wasn't it obvious?”
“Not really. I mean, you flirt and then joke about it. You make suggestive and sexual moves on me and then act as if they don't mean anything and you always use the terms ‘friends’ and ‘roommates’ whenever you refer to our relationship, so I went with it. If anything, you've been sending me mixed messages and it's very confusing.”
“Sorry if I've been confusing and I'll make it clear this time. I love you.”
“You can let go now. I don't wanna mess your shirt up.”
“I don't mind. You can mess it up as much as you want.”
She hugged him back and buried her face in his chest and cried harder. He hugged her tighter and stroked her hair.
“It's ok. I know you've been holding it in for a long time. I'm here for you, so cry as much as you want. Just remember that I'll always love you even if everyone hates you, even if you hate yourself.”
Eventually, the crying tired her out and she fell asleep in his arms. When she woke up, she found herself on top of him; she smiled when she saw his sleeping face. She got up to get a blanket and laid her head back on his chest, putting the blanket over them. His heartbeat was soothing to her. Soon she fell asleep again.

It was the next morning when Takumi woke up. He carefully got up so he wouldn't wake her up. When he was ready for school, he kissed her forehead before leaving. For a moment there, he thought he saw a smile on her face.
She woke up to someone stroking her hair. She was lying down, her head resting on Takumi's lap. She turned to face him without getting up.
“How long was I out?” She asked while rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
“The whole day. It's almost five.”
“I don't feel like going to work tomorrow.”
“Maybe you should. It might help you take your mind off things.”
“Maybe. But I should eat first before deciding on anything. I think it's your turn to cook.”
“On it.”
They ate in silence; she was still obviously bothered by what had happened. When they were getting ready for bed, Takumi came up to her. He cupped her face and kissed her. She gave him a confused look.
“For someone so smart, you can be a real idiot sometimes.” He kissed her forehead, “You never listen to me...” Then her cheek, “Or get what I'm trying to say.” Her other cheek, “And you also don't take what I say seriously.” Her nose, “This time I need to you listen and take me seriously. Stop beating yourself up over it because it wasn't your fault. You only snapped because you were hurt, angry and you were fed up.” He brushed his lips against her neck.
“Stop, that tickles.” She snorted.
“There's that smile.”
“Ok, you got me.”
“I'm not sure if it's too soon, but mind if I ask you something about the whole Trey thing? It's kinda been bugging me a little.”
She sighed. “I guess I'll answer whatever you have to ask.”
“You said that you were trying to maintain your patience the whole time he was you know. What I don't understand is: why? I know you well enough to know that you would have lashed out at him immediately. Why did you choose to keep your cool instead?”
“Is that what's been bugging you?”
“I know it's dumb but I really wanna know.”
“Ok, well uh. If you must know, that's what my mom taught me to do in such situations.”
“That's weird but ok.”
“You see, my mom always told me that if my mate ever gives me bullshit in public, I should pretend like nothing's wrong and wait until we're alone so that I can stab his balls. That way no one would interfere. And yes, those were her exact words.”
“I guess I was fussing over nothing. Remind me to never piss you off that much. I'd like to keep my testicles intact.”
“I know you well enough to know that you’d never do that to anyone. Look, you’re a good guy and I do like you. It’s just: I’ve spent most of my life not caring about having a mate because not all men can be like my dad and certain circumstances made me more adamant about it. No one offence, but you being human also raises some doubts because of a lack of a strong bond. I can bring the physical aspects to the table and as much as I want to, I don’t know if I can love you. I don’t want to be with you if I can’t give you what you’re already giving me and if I’ll spend the majority of the time having doubts. That would be unfair to you.”
“I understand. But I can promise to wait for as long as it takes.”