Chapter 21: The Lost Loves

Asher’s POV



“Do you still love her?”

“I- What?” My mouth becomes dry, and I struggle to form a complete sentence.

“You heard me,” She flips her hair over her shoulder, “I’m just curious.”

I haven’t had anyone ask me that question for years. I’m not sure how to respond to it, because I don’t know how I truly feel. Sometimes my heart begins to pound when I think about how beautiful she is, and other times I get so angry about her leaving me that I wish to never see her face again.

I don’t know how I feel about her, especially now that Harper is in the picture. I had thought Zoey was my Mate, that it would be a gradual pull towards her, but I’m starting to think that’s not the case anymore.

“It’s complicated,” I sigh.

“I don’t believe that,” Harper responds, there’s something behind her eyes that I can’t quite put my finger on. Is it confusion? Anger?

“I think you’re still in love with her and can’t admit it to yourself,” she continues, the flames in her eyes roaring.

I almost laugh, “You don’t know anything about me.”

She looks pained for a moment, but quickly recovers, “I know enough to know when you’re lying to yourself, Asher. I see you every day, and yet, you think I know nothing about you?”

“Well, you’re wrong about this.” I hate that she can see right through me.

She shakes her head, “I’m not. You’re still in love with Zoey, but you’re scared if you were to rekindle your relationship that she will always be unpredictable.”

“I’m not in love with her,” I say, firm.

“I understand it’s scary not being with your first love,” she says, moving to sit on her knees, “Trust me, I went through the same process with my ex-boyfriend. I thought I couldn’t live without him, but it turned out my life was worth living with him out of the picture.”

“Zoey hurt me in unimaginable ways,” I run my hands through my curls, pulling at the roots to feel pain other than what’s in my heart, “Having to rebuild myself after she left me was the hardest thing I’ve had to do. She shattered my heart, Harper.”

I sigh, looking up at the moon, “So, no, I’m not still in love with her. Sometimes I miss the memories we share together, but I don’t love her anymore.”

Harper moves towards me, placing a gentle hand on my thigh. I stare into her eyes; they’ve become a dull flame now. My heart begins to pound how it used to when I would look into Zoey’s eyes.

I’m not sure what my heart wants, but it wants to stay in this moment forever.

“Who do you love then?” Harper’s voice leaves her pink lips in a whisper.

Without breaking eye contact, I move my face towards hers. The moment feels right, there is so much tension in the air I’m beginning to suffocate. Harper follows my lead; we close our eyes.

I’m ready to feel her warm lips brush against mine, wanting to taste the sweet watermelon lip gloss she uses every day. I can feel her soft breath on my lips as we move closer to each other.

This isn’t for show for the pack. This is real. I want this. I want her.

Just as our lips begin to touch, a loud noise from the back porch forces us apart. I look towards the sound and see Jack, along with other members of the pack, leaving the lounge room after the movie night. I hadn’t realized it was so late.

I look at Harper, who is hiding behind her hair. My heart feels like I’ve just run a marathon and is ready to rip through my rib cage.

Jack comes running across the yard, plopping on the rug beside me, a smile on his face.

“How’s the date,” Jack says, picking a grape off the plate and shoving it into his mouth.

I shove his shoulder, “It was great until you crashed it.”

Jack looks around confused, “What did I do?”

“Your presence, man, it’s a bit of a bummer,” I can’t even think about what would’ve happened if he hadn’t showed up.

“Well, I’m sorry I wanted to hang out with my best friend,” He feigns being hurt by my comment, gripping at his chest.

I look at Harper, who is watching us in silence.

“How was the movie?” She asks Jack.

Jack begins telling us every single detail about the plot of the movie. I stop listening after a minute, but all I know is the genre was action and the main female character was smoking hot. His words, not mine.

I can tell Harper is doing her best not to make eye contact with me whenever we glance at each other. Her avoiding my eyes indicates to me that she was just as invested in the kiss as I was. I hope this isn’t a one-sided situation, because I don’t think my heart could handle another woman rejecting me.

“And that’s how it ended,” Jack’s voice brings me back to reality, “Such a cliff-hanger, right?”

Harper shakes her head, as if coming back to Earth as well, “Yep, I totally agree.”

Jack looks between Harper and I, “Were you two even listening?”

“Of course,” we both say at the same time.

Harper and I make eye contact, trying not to laugh at Jack. He really does have the worst timing at times.

Jack doesn’t buy it, but changes the conversation anyway, “How about you two come for drink with some of the members, we’re going to the games room to keep the night activities going.”

“Sure,” I say standing to my feet, “Let me grab a drink from my bedroom and I’ll meet you there.”

Harper stands to her feet, “I’m feeling a bit tired, so I’ll have to call it a night, but have a fun.”

“Are you sure?” Jack pleads, “We all love hanging out with you.”

Harper smiles, showing off her cute dimples, something I haven’t appreciated until now, “Another time, I promise.”

Her and Jack lock pinkies, as if they’re little kids playing in a playground.

We all head inside, I let Harper walk ahead of me. I’m not sure how to talk to her now. She’s going to think I have feelings for her, and I’m nervous as to what her response will be. Maybe I should live in ignorant bliss never knowing how she truly feels about me.

That’s a great idea. My heart can’t get hurt that way.

I grab Harper’s wrist, spinning her around to face me, “Harper, I-“

“You don’t have to say anything,” She smiles, “I know.”