Chapter 11: Ice Cream Crusader

Tom started chuckling like a guy at a comedy club who’s had too many drinks. Roxanne couldn’t understand. She has holding his arm – hard. Why was he laughing? Ruby turned and started giggling too. Roxanne grasped Tom’s bicep even harder, willing him to stop. She’d never seen him so giddy.
As they walked to the door, Tom patted Roxanne’s arm with his other hand and said, “That was so funny, dear.” Other patrons shot them looks of inquiry, wondering what had been so amusing. Once the three of them exited the restaurant, Roxanne let go and Tom slowed down his obnoxious laughter.
He pointed to Roxanne and said to Ruby, “She’s a hoot. I’m so glad I found her,” then hugged Roxanne’s shoulder stiffly.
They waited for the valet to retrieve their cars, an awkward silence blanketing them after their hysterical exit. Roxanne waved to Ruby as she drove off in her convertible, smiling and entered Tom’s SUV. Now that they were alone, Roxanne laid into him.
“What was that all about? Why were you laughing like a hyena back there?”
Tom kept his eyes on the road. “I wanted to leave the meeting on a high note. Make Ruby remember it as if we had such a good time.”
“You could have just told a joke or something.”
“I don’t know any jokes.” He responded in a straightforward manner as if his sudden out-of-character outburst was perfectly plausible.
Even the robot had a weak spot. He was so concerned with what Ruby thought of him, he was willing to put on an act– at least for a moment or two. Although it was strange seeing Tom laugh so hard, it proved to Roxanne he could be more unrestrained. Maybe he had more human attributes to uncover. Still, she was disappointed in his performance at the restaurant.
“Did you like your meal?” Tom asked.
“I can’t believe the prices they charge. It was good, but not THAT good.”
“Next time, try something new. The Porterhouse is delicious.”
Roxanne rolled her eyes.
“And maybe a glass of wine instead of hard liquor,” Tom added.
“I know you’re paying and all, but I’m just not used to that sort of thing. I’m a burger and beer sort of gal. And what was with that dessert menu anyway? Champagne ice cream? No thanks. I’d take plain old vanilla any day.”
Tom smirked at that, and Roxanne felt satisfied that he at least found her struggle to fit into high society a little amusing.
“By the way, I saw you got super excited when Ruby mentioned the land holdings. Why didn’t you ask her about them before?”
“Ruby is a refined lady.”
“Refined alright. She seemed to enjoy the Chardonnay.” Roxanne pretended to gulp down a beverage.
“It’s inappropriate to come out and ask for what you want right away in this situation. I have to ease into it.”
“Oh, so you mean it first requires hours of listening to her yammering on about the people she knows and the places she’s been?”
“Exactly,” Tom said as he nodded.
“I call that playing a person, you apparently call it refined.”
“I’m not playing her.” Tom’s tone sounded defensive. “I’m just finessing the deal a bit. Plus, we need time to build up the appearance of our family.”
“Yeah, about that,” Roxanne pointed. “How can I be sure you’re not just in this for business purposes? I can pretend to be your girlfriend, but I don’t know about this baby thing. How do you know you’d even be good with kids?”
Tom kept his eyes on the road, sitting up straight in his seat. He even drove like a computerized puppet. “Roxanne, I know it’s hard for you to believe, but I want a child more than I want this land. This situation presented itself, and I want to take the opportunity while it’s there.”
“And opportunity is not a lengthy visitor,” Roxanne agreed. “You could, however, work on one thing.” She squinted, not sure she should even mention it at this point.
“What’s that?”
“You say you’re not a ladies man, but you could certainly try to lighten up a bit. Make more of an effort to put people at ease. Be less formal.”
“I don’t do loose. It’s unbecoming.” Tom took one hand off the wheel and straightened his tie.
“Whatever you say,” Roxanne said in a defeated tone.
“How about this, you lay off the alcohol so our fetus has a fertile place to grow, and I’ll try to relax.”
“Oooh, ooh. Pull over here.” Roxanne pointed to a small clapboard hut set back from the road. “They have the best ice cream.”
Tom swerved and managed to maneuver the SUV onto a crumbling driveway. Once he parked in a small lot to the side of the ice cream shop, Roxanne hopped out. Even though she was dressed in her evening attire, she didn’t seem to mind, smiling at the other patrons in jeans and t-shirts.
She ordered cookies n cream while Tom opted for rocky road as they stood on the porch with their ice cream cones. The night was more hot and humid than it had been in previous evenings, and it was hard to keep up with licking their treats before drops of ice cream slid down their cones. A few couples and two families also lingered by the porch, turning their cones to catch the ice cream before it became a melted mess.
While Roxanne had never really considered herself the maternal type, she liked kids. She got a kick out of them, and watching them try to enjoy an ice cream cone on a hot night proved a cheap form of entertainment.
Scanning the crowd, Roxanne noticed one little boy in particular with orange hair the color of a traffic cone, aggressively licking his chocolate ice cream. His mom held one baby on her hip, while trying to spoon feed a toddler, so the orange-haired boy had to handle his cone on his own.
“Be careful, Ricky,” she said. “I can’t afford to buy you another cone.”
The next minute, after one very forceful lick, Ricky’s ice cream came toppling off the cone and onto the wooden porch.
His mother, her hands tied, started to yell at the boy. Tom jumped to action with cat-like reflexes as he held his cone in one hand and swiped the mound of ice cream off of the wooden plank with his other hand, placing it back on the boy’s cone as if it had never left. The boy looked at Tom, then proceeded to continue licking. Roxanne handed Tom one of her napkins.
The boy’s mother thanked Tom. Tom nodded in his usual way. But when Ricky tugged on his pant leg, chocolate ice cream from his hand smearing the navy blue fabric, Tom didn’t seem ruffled. He squatted down so he could be face to face with Ricky.
“Thanks mister,” Ricky said. “Do you want a lick?” He reached his cone up to Tom’s face, accidentally hitting Tom’s nose with some ice cream. Tom licked it off the best he could.
“It’s no problem,” he said to Ricky, and they both smiled.
Roxanne was so impressed with how effortlessly Tom acted with the young boy. Unlike with adults, children seemed to make Tom relax more.
Once they’d finished their cones and were ambling back to the SUV, Roxanne gave Tom a little nudge with her hip. It caught Tom off guard and he stumbled a bit, then recovered.
“I didn’t know you were a savior of ice cream cones,” she said.
“It never came up,” he retorted, deadpan. Roxanne smiled.
“I like how you didn’t just try to buy him another cone. You made him feel like it was no big deal.”
Tom shrugged.
She’d had doubts about Tom and his true intentions. She could tell he really liked kids and for some reason, he seemed more at ease with them than with adults. Nevertheless, she thought she needed to learn more about Tom to really be sure.
She had Tom drop her off at her father’s. Idling in front of the small brick house, Tom turned toward Roxanne.
“Thank you, Roxanne, for accompanying me. I haven’t forgotten about that permit. It hasn’t been as easy as I’d hoped.”
Roxanne didn’t know exactly what that meant. She hoped Tom wasn’t engaging in anything nefarious, but at the same time, she really needed it. The crew was starting to prepare for the next phase of construction, and she knew she didn’t have much time before Danny, or worse – the loan shark, would know she hadn’t filed the permit.
Roxanne stared back at Tom and gave him a small grin. She waited for Tom to make a move, maybe kiss her good night, even if just on the cheek. Instead, he sat at the wheel of the SUV and seemed to look past Roxanne’s shoulder through the passenger side window.
Being that they’d barely made contact, she wasn’t sure how they were going to make a baby.
“Bye then,” she said and opened the door, a little disappointed.