Chapter 13: On Cue

The cup bobbled in Tom’s hands as he lost his grip and then tried to stop the cup from tumbling. Roxanne shrieked as she saw the sample careening downward. Tom squatted quickly, trying to grab the cup before it hit the floor. His cat-like reflexes, again, proved useful as he was able to swat the cup and catch it before it inevitably spilled.
Roxanne and Tom both sighed in relief, and Roxanne called for the nurse to come, leaving Tom standing in another statuesque position with the cup in hand.
The nurse arrived to take the sample and prepare it for insemination. Once she left and Roxanne sat on the table, Tom turned toward the door a look of disdain on his face.
“I’m sorry,” Roxanne said in an almost whisper.
“I’ll give you some privacy,” Tom said and looked down at the floor. “I’ll order a car to take you home.”
“I know I messed up. But you know what bothers me most?” Roxanne said, looking at Tom’s back, retreating to the door. “I thought this was at least some kind of partnership – you and I. I thought you at least trusted me. It seems like you make all the decisions – alone.”
Tom stopped, and before he grabbed the doorknob he twisted his head, absurdly far and looked at Roxanne. Without saying anything, he turned his head back, opened the door, and walked out. Roxanne laid on the exam table and tried to hold back her tears.
The insemination part happened fairly quickly. Afterward, the nurse provided Roxanne with some instructions and a pamphlet. Roxanne’s playfulness had almost gotten her in trouble with Tom. Nonetheless, she still longed to find a way to loosen him up a bit. Even though he would have felt uncomfortable, it stung that he made her endure the insemination alone.
She reasoned that if Tom continued to keep secrets from her, she’d just have to create some secrets on her own. She directed the car Tom sent to take her to The Hole in the Wall. It had been awhile since she’d visited the building Owen had sent her to, and she still couldn’t put the pieces together.
Unlike the night she came to the bar with Tom, she didn’t waste any time and entered the secret office via the “broken” stall in the men’s bathroom first thing. Like usual, Owen was staring at something on his desk.
“I see you found some shoes,” said Owen, as Roxanne looked down at her brown boots.
“I found my shoes but little else. Why did you send me to that address? I still don’t have the permit, and as far as I can see, I’m no closer to getting it.”
“I didn’t say you’d find it there.” Owen didn’t look up from the paper on his desk.
Roxanne put her hands on her hips. “But what was the clue? I’m running out of time. Construction is about to start, and you know I can’t be the cause of any delays or the loan shark will have my father’s neck.”
“How’s the stiff?” Owen finally took off his glasses and squinted toward Roxanne.
Roxanne looked confused. Why would he want to know about Tom? “You mean the guy I was here with the other night?”
“Yes.”
“What does he have to do with this?”
“You tell me.” Owen crossed his arms and leaned back.
“Nothing.” Owen shook his head and smiled and made a tsk, tsk sound. Then, he looked back down at his desk.
“Roxanne, I thought you knew better than that. You want information, you have to provide information. Don’t lie to me.”
“Okay.” She said, shoving her hands in her pockets. She thought about the visit to the fertility clinic. She couldn’t tell Owen the truth about her deal with Tom, even though she knew she could trust Owen. It was just too personal.
“He’s helping me. He said he could help me find out who stole the permit.” She took her hands out of her pockets and raised her arms. “But only because that burnt out building you sent me to was a dead end.”
Owen chuckled a little and nodded.
“You didn’t see what you needed to see then,” he said.
“Just this,” Roxanne brandished the piece of aluminum with the clover leaf from her wallet and pushed it onto Owen’s desk. He picked it up and examined it as if it were a priceless diamond. Then he placed it on the desk and made a waving gesture with his hand, indicating Roxanne should take it before returning his gaze to the document in front of him.
“I can’t find out who stole the permit. You can use your man for that, but I can buy you some time with the loan shark. Not much though, he knows something’s up. “
Roxanne put the aluminum piece back in her wallet. “Thank you,” she said and backed out of the office.
She walked to the bar and sat down. “What’ll you have?” the bartender asked.
“Just a seltzer water with lime,” she said, remembering the nurse’s advice. Despite the insemination, she didn’t feel any different. Before going to the clinic, she had mostly thought about Tom and what kind of parent he would be, but hadn’t really considered what kind of parent she would embody. Now, with the possibility that a life was growing inside her at that moment, she felt uneasy.
She looked around at the patrons, one construction guy she knew raised his beer bottle in a hello gesture. She gave him a small wave. The fact that she might be pregnant scared her. She sipped her seltzer before walking over to the pool table and racking the balls. She thought the game would distract her from the serious business of loan sharks, building permits, babies - and Tom.
She chalked her cue, and broke the balls. Hitting the two ball in the corner pocket, she lined up another shot and thought about becoming a mother. She liked kids; however, she knew having her own would be different. It was certainly a shock when Tom asked her about the deal, but one of the reasons she agreed was because she had wanted to be a mother – some day. More importantly, she wanted to save her father.
She continued to hit balls into their pockets, only missing a few shots. When she finished, she racked them up again. Playing billiards helped her think, and now that Owen was going to buy her some time, she could relax a little.
As she hit the three ball into the side pocket, she thought about Tom again. He’d made their deal feel so transactional. Next time she saw him, she vowed to confront him about his coldness, which he mistook for sophistication.
She certainly didn’t want to raise a spoiled kid, and while she didn’t mind exposing a child to cultured things, she needed assurances that she would have some say in how their child was brought up.
She planned to keep working; Tom would get the best nanny they could find. And besides, wouldn’t this child get the best of both worlds – a down-to-Earth family that could teach them important life skills and the luxury of the best goods and services money could buy? She dreamed of teaching a little protégé how to hammer in a nail. Like her dad did, she would teach her child useful skills.
After she sunk the five ball, she cued up her next shot. Hearing the front door open, she looked over and seeing the person she least expected standing there, she missed the cue ball and almost scratched the table.
Tom glanced around the room, clearly uncomfortable standing in the bar alone. Unlike at the fertility clinic where he’d caught her off guard, she had the upper hand being on more familiar turf. She knew she’d made a mistake, teasing him at the clinic, but his coldness left her incensed.