31: You and You Alone

Lena

I fall into step beside Chase, our fingers woven together as the now chilly sand shifts beneath our feet. Neither of us speaks right away, but there’s an unspoken understanding in our shared silence as we make our way further and further from the fire pit. Everything around us is dark, except for the faint glow of stars above and the occasional shimmer of moonlight reflecting off the water. I take a deep breath, allowing the salty air to fill my lungs and I slow my pace, enjoying the tranquility of our trek. The rhythm of the waves calms my thoughts, and for a moment, it feels like time doesn’t exist at all. It always feels like I’m floating on a cloud when I’m with him, like I manifested him into some kind of lucid dream. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asks as he softly nudges his shoulder into mine.

I smile and glance up at him, his eyes steady but gentle, waiting for me to decide how to respond. I hesitate for a moment, the words caught somewhere between my chest and my lips, unsure if they’re ready to leave just yet. He pauses and turns to face me, cupping my cheeks in his palms as he leaves a light kiss on the tip of my nose. “I’m not sure where to start,” I admit finally, my voice quieter than usual as I lean into the warmth of his hands. He nods, patient, his expression softening even more. "That's okay. You don’t have to start anywhere in particular,” he whispers against my lips. My knees buckle when they land on mine, leaving sweet kisses behind as he pulls back to look at me. Those damn eyes peering straight past my defenses and into my soul. “Whenever you're ready." The words lift a small weight off my shoulders, making it easier to breathe. Maybe I don’t have to figure it all out just yet. Maybe I can just begin with this moment.

I take his hand in mine and begin walking again, the ocean ebbing and flowing between our toes as we walk along the shore. “I told him everything,” I start, my voice unsure, unsteady. “About sleeping with you, about the uncertainty I’m feeling when it comes to the wedding and our relationship. I told him I need to end things so we can figure out what’s best for us individually, on our own paths.” I glance in his direction, his furrowed brows relaxing slightly the moment our eyes make contact. "Needless to say, he didn’t take it well. He believes it’s just a passing phase, that it’ll disappear once we’re back home, and that I’m just going through some sort of midlife crisis haha," I add oozing with sarcasm. "But the truth is, I’ve been feeling this way for a long time. I just buried it deep enough that it didn’t hurt as much on a daily basis. I've overlooked obvious red flags for years for the sake of saving something that started with so much promise.” Chase nods, his lips pursed as the wheels in his mind turn in search of the right response.

“It’s important to consider how he feels, but your life belongs to you Lena. How *you* feel and what direction *you* choose to go belongs to you and you alone.” He murmurs, his hand tightening around mine as if our hands are hugging. “I know... I think both of our actions prove we’ve changed, that we’re no longer who we used to be and rather than growing together, we’ve grown apart. I mean, I expected him to be upset, but I was not expecting who he became after hearing the news.” I add shakily, unsure of how Chase will process what I plan to tell him next. “What do you mean?” Chase asks, the inflection of his voice reveaing his growing concern. He halts again, a flicker of unease crossing his face as he turns to me. Great, as soon as my palms begin to sweat, my stupid, wreckless heart choses this moment to start pounding for all to hear, and now I feel nauseous.

“He… he put his hands on me,” I continue, my eyes dropping to the tiny grains underneath us as the words come out strained. “He grabbed my jaw so hard I’ve got bruises on both sides of my chin. He’s never done anything like that before...” Chase’s breath catches in the breeze sweeping past, as his fingers immediately brush over the tender skin surrounding my jaw. He easily turns my head side to side, inspecting my face and glaring upon finding the proof. “He put his fucking hands on you?” Chase asks, his voice rising in disbelief. His jaw clenches as color drains from his face, a storm of anger flickering in his squinted eyes. His hands drop to his sides, balling into fists as if it’s the only way he can keep his composure in check; as if the very idea of someone daring to touch me is too much. “I’m okay Chase,” I say, reaching for his face but my wrist is halted midair by his hand. He pulls me into a hug, and his rapidly increasing heart beat vibrates against my cheek.

When I pull back to meet his gaze, his beautiful eyes have darkened, like a demonic force turned them from green to pitch black; and the way the moonlight reflects right now, he looks like an enraged sea god ready to strike! “It doesn’t matter if you’re okay, Lena. Whether he did it intentionally or in the heat of the moment- a man who lacks self control will inveitably harm the ones he loves most. What a piece of shit!" His low voice remarks, raw with exasperation but also deadly calm. The muscles in his biceps tense around me, and if I didn’t know better, I’d swear he could snap the world, or Jasper, in half right now. “Never again,” he whispers as we sway back and forth wrapped in each other’s arms. “If he ever lays a hand on you again, I will kill him, Lena. I swear that to you.” A chill runs down my spine as I process the promise he’s making me, but I’m not afraid of him. In fact, I’m more afraid for Jasper if Chase ever finds out who he is and what he looks like. Shit, Katie and Jordan will more than likely join him!

“It won’t happen again,” I say through a nervous smile. “I’m moving out when I get back, I’ve already changed my flight so we won’t travel together, and… if there is a next time, my pepper spray will be ready and waiting.” I try to assure him, but a small scoff escapes his lips. “I’m glad you are thinking ahead, but what about tonight? You’re not staying in the room with him, are you?” He inquires with increased concern. “No, I was planning to stay with Katie and Jordan. I already moved my bags to their room. But…” A heaviness settles in my chest as I trail off, unable to shake the unease that’s creeping up on me. "But..." he prompts, his voice wavering now, as if sensing the change in my mood. He leans in slightly, bringing our faces closer, his eyes searching mine for an answer. I swallow hard, the words catching in my throat. "But... my trip is ending sooner than expected," I confess, my sadness undeniable. "I’m heading back a day early so I can move my things out before he comes back."

Chase’s brow furrows, but his expression remains sweet as he nods. He reaches up, gently brushing a stray curl from my face, his touch warm against my skin. “I get it,” he says quietly, his adam's apple bobbing as he swallows his emotions. I wish he'd tell me what he was thinking. “But… I’m not going anywhere. You have my number, and I’ll be waiting for your call when you’re ready.” His eyes hold mine, as if trying to offer me a sense of comfort and stability admist the chaos of change approaching. “Thank you for listening, Chase,” I say sincerely but he only leans back, giving me a sideways smirk that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Don’t thank me yet,” he says in a playful manner. “I might have to teach him a lesson before leaving. I could just, you know... throw him off the side of my boat. It's not like anyone would find him if I dump him where the crabs hang out.” His gaze flickers to the ocean and his expression hardens for a split second, before he throws his hands up in nonchalantly. “Chase!" I yelp as he chuckles, although the sound is no longer as carefree as it was before."Come on,” I say while grabbing his hand and turning to head back towards the bonfire. “If we only have two more days together, then I want to make the most of the time we have. No more sadness or worries of what’s to come, no more plotting risky behaviors that will land you in jail. Let’s go... have some fun.”