14

Avery walked into her house like a dead person, followed by James. They had met at a stoplight and had left themselves to their thoughts. Right now, she felt empty. Just looking into Jean's eyes made her feel like all she thrived for the past years had all been for nothing. She had gained nothing except material items. And now, that didn’t even matter anymore. The woman she thought she was collecting everything from had actually gained a tenth fold of what she had acquired.
She turned to look at James and they shared an intense stare with his eyes filled with anger and hers with remorse until he walked past her and headed for his room, not saying a word. She stood there for about twenty minutes before walking up the stairs slowly. She heard the shower on as she passed his room before slightly opening the door to peek at her son.
He looked so peaceful in his pajamas and his tiny five-year-old body that she couldn’t help but envy him. He was so innocent and naïve; he had no issues with the world apart from avoiding injuries when playing. He lived in a world where there were no worries and she bet his dreams were even better. She sat down next to him and touched his smooth cheek, searching for any emotion for him. She searched for the glowing feeling in the heart that her friends always talked about whenever they saw their children. She looked for the warm feeling that his smile was supposed to give her, but she felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. She sighed, sometimes, she doubted if she was actually mother material. She didn’t feel like a mother at all. She just saw him as random child and it confused her; weren’t mothers supposed to be lionesses who would do anything for their children? Well, she felt like a snake who abandoned her child after birth. Then she felt terrible, she had used this little boy for her own selfish interest. As she played with his puffy hair, she thought about how she had purposely gotten pregnant without being ready for the baby. She had no idea what being a mother was like and yet, here she was, a woman with a child and a husband.
She scoffed. A husband indeed. Laurent turned and she silently left the room for hers. She took a shower and went to press her ear to the door of James’ room. He was watching soccer, which he loved. She took that as a good sign and knocked on the door quietly. She knew he heard because the volume of the T.V reduced and there was silence.
“Go away,” said James’ raspy, irritated voice.
She knew to ignore his coldness and she gently pushed the door open a little bit and she saw him lying on his bed with a beer in his hand. This was weird. She had only ever seen him take alcohol one other time.
Avery rubbed her arms as she walked into the estate of James’ parents. She was free to enter since she was a close friend of his. She wondered what evil demon had possessed her not to wear a jacket during such cold weather, then it came to her mind. Worry was that demon; James had called her mumbling something about it all ending and him not being able to live. Normally, she would never have cared about a person that way but the worry had nagged at her heart and caused her to leave her house wearing only a tank top and jeans.
She stopped dead in her tracks as she was about to reach for the doorknob. She couldn’t believe she had really been dumb enough to fall in love with her best friend’s long-time boyfriend.
She pushed open the door with a sigh and was not so shocked to see a drunken James on the floor of the grand foyer surrounded by different bottles of alcoholic drinks. Right then, he was holding a Vodka bottle and quietly singing to himself and crying. He looked terrible, his usually neat hair was in knots and his eyes were red and puffy, not to mention the way he reeked of alcohol.
She stopped staring and took action when he attempted to take another swig of the alcohol.
“Hey, that’s okay.” she said as she took the bottle from his grasp, “I guess I need to get you sober so you can tell me the main reason why you’re doing this to yourself.”
He looked up at her and opened his mouth to speak, at first, nothing came out. Then he rested his chin on his knees and said one sentence that sent Avery into a spiral of madness.
“She’s not coming back, she said so, but I love her.”’
She shrugged off the memory and looked at present James. He wasn’t drunk but he was obviously tipsy. He turned his head to look over at her before his lips arranged into a sneer.
“Don’t you understand English? Or you just don’t know the meaning of ‘Go away’?”
She swallowed the lump in her throat and sat on the edge of the soft bed while James looked at her like she was sitting on the Holy Ground with shoes. She made sure to put a huge gap of space between them considering the size of the bed. A cold breeze made her shiver in her chiffon top, she then noticed the huge window was open and it was a chilly night. She got up to close the window and then sat down and turned to look back at James.
“What were you doing at her house?”
“How did you know I was there? Are you now a creepy stalker or something?” His eyes squinted into slits as he looked at her accusingly, completely ignoring her question.
“I found out that your company had a meeting with her this afternoon and I was there at the parking lot when you were with her and I also followed you guys to the other meetings where she was the only one that left the car and you stayed. I thought when you guys were done with your adventure, you would come home. But then, you guys started heading towards a place I didn’t know.” She swallowed before continuing, “I followed, thinking you guys were going elsewhere till she entered an estate. For Christ's sake, I thought it was a hotel until I saw the way the guards were friendly with her. That woman lives in a modern palace for crying out loud. Anyway, I parked a few meters away from the gates and went round to climb the walls. I was successful at first but then a guard noticed me and alerted the others as I was about to enter the main building and that’s probably why you guys heard me screaming-“
“Like an animal.” James finished for her. She ignored his comment and went ahead with her story.
“Anyway, I knew she would be upstairs so I ran there. My intention was to check every room until I found you guys, but you made that easier by rushing out. I had found you but I just wanted to know if you guys happened to be in the same room. So I rushed in and I saw her…” She gulped and hung her head when she remembered the state she had met Jean in.
“Are you crazy, woman?” Her head shot up at James’ insult. His eyes were seething anger but the words that came out of his mouth hurt her even more. “How can you follow us around all day? Oh, I see…..it’s because you have too much time on your hands because I provide everything and you’re just there eating my income like a piranha. Are you such a busy body that you go through the stress of climbing a wall to disturb private property. You’re lucky Jean is a better person than you or she would have charged you for trespassing. Then you start shouting like a rabid dog in someone’s house for crying out loud! What kind of monster are you?”
James didn’t shout a word of all he said, it was more like he whispered in anger. Avery already felt intimidated because he looked like a provoked python.
“I understand all that but will you please tell me the reason why you were in another woman’s room when you were meant to be home?”
James looked forward at the television, blanked his face of any expression and pointed the remote at the television.
“I only owe such an explanation to my wife.”
Avery felt her ears ring at this statement. She blinked back tears as he changed the channel like nothing meaningful had happened.
“Oh, okay…” she replied in a hoarse voice before she left the room. Immediately she stepped out of his door, the tears came streaming down with no control whatsoever.
She finished her tears in the shower before getting into bed when she thought she could cry no more. Her previous thought of all her past actions not having any major worth came back to her. Now, look at her, the woman she spat was ten times richer than the man she had hooked for money. She had an amazing child who would grow up not knowing motherly love like he deserved and the man she had literally forced into becoming her husband didn’t think of her as a wife. They were just flatmates, sorry, mansion mates. She had put all her mind into pursuing the wrong things and now, they had gotten her nowhere at all. She hated herself for all her actions as she remembered Jean’s look that fateful day:

Avery watched cross-armed from her spot as the Chief Bridesmaid while the bride and groom stared at each other, one’s eyes filled with terror and the others with regret.
“You can’t have him, Jean, he’s mine.”
The bride snapped her head to face her when she spoke. Tears were already flowing from her eyes and everybody was getting up to console her. But Avery couldn’t have cared less. After today, she would have everything she ever wanted and wouldn’t need to rely on anybody for any sort of assistance apart from her soon-to-be husband. His parents were very religious so they would make sure the marriage took place no matter what.
Jean looked at Avery then at James and back again before fleeing the church with her beautiful white dress flowing behind her. Later that night, Avery heard that she was found almost dead but left to her, the bitch should have died a long time ago.
She didn’t hear any gossip about Jean after that day. She didn’t bump into her either despite the obvious clash in their schedules. It was like she had disappeared off the face of the Earth.

At that time, Avery didn’t care what had happened to Jean. Little did she know that Jean was out discovering herself and trying to get over everything. But now, the past had come back to haunt each and every one of them and Avery hated every minute of it. An image of Jean in her bed that evening came back to her mind and she shuddered. The woman looked like a walking corpse and it was all her fault. At that point, Avery knew that she had to make an attempt to make this right, no matter how long it took.