Chapter 61

Chapter Sixty-One

It didn’t take long for Martienne to fall asleep. In fact, it looked to Connor like most of the team were ready to collapse after pushing through the woods in the heat of the day and sprinting out to escape the things they’d found in the ruins. That same fatigue was tugging on his eyelids, making his mouth fall open.

He pushed up with some effort, gritting his teeth against the spasms in his back.

Lem waved from the top of the mound, Kalpana slumped at his side.

Everyone else was sprawled out in pairs—the Moon twins, Mosiah and Aubriella, Vicente and Gregor, Selen and Yemi.

Martienne was close to Mosiah.

Safe. Moss would crunch if anything entered the clearing.

Connor did a couple circuits around the perimeter, ears straining for any sound of the lizard things.

There wasn’t any croaking now, but chittering and clicking floated on the stuffy air.

So, they were out there—watching but not yet ready to attack, apparently.

Moss crackled behind him, drawing Connor around.

Selen stood there, already out of her armor. Her eyes went past him, to the woods beyond. “Anything?”

“The lizards. You can hear them if you listen hard.” He doubted he could smell them over his own sweat and the sulfuric blood coating him. Then again, maybe their stench was part of the rotten smell coming off everything.

“They won’t attack.”

“Maybe. Then again, we thought they would never group together.”

“Is that my fault, too? I brought the team into their territory, so now they’ve banded together?”

“Well, they weren’t banding together before.”

Her focus turned back to him. “We had a job to do.”

“I don’t recall there being a deadline.”

“Don’t be naive. Every job has a deadline.”

Connor scuffed at the moss, which came away from the loam easily. “I could’ve saved her.”

“Of course you could. You can save everyone.”

“I could have tried.”

“You would’ve been killed before you got halfway to her.”

Heat shot through him. “I can kill these things.”

“Right. They’re not human. But you know what they are? Monsters. They’re straight out of a nightmare. And I’m not risking lives without a good reason.”

“You want a good reason?” Connor edged closer to his boss. “How about Drew was a human? Or how about she was one of us? Or maybe she was our engineer—our only engineer? How about any of those?”

Selen’s eyes dropped. “Command is just like triage. You don’t get that yet.”

“I do.”

“No, you don’t. You have to understand your assets. You have to know your priorities. Rudy was down. I couldn’t lose you. The team needs someone to keep them in line.”

“I’m not Rudy.”

“You’re better than him, Connor. You don’t see that yet, but you are.”

“No one was better than Rudy. He was the toughest—”

“He was getting old. He’d lost a step.”

“The team respected him. He kept them in line.”

“They respect you. You can take his place. I need you to.”

But no one could do what she was asking of Connor. She had to know that.

Something snapped in the woods. Perhaps the alien trees were closer to the sort of trees he knew of, the trees that had been brought to the Coil and Talon Sectors from Earth centuries ago.

He waved her back toward the mound near the center of the clearing.

She drifted to his side as they walked, not bothering with subtlety. The familiarity of the day before returned, and it was if they were back to being lovers.

Her arm brushed his. “They’re hurting right now. You can help get them past that.”

“I’m hurting right now, Selen. Aren’t you?”

“Of course I am. Rudy was one of the best. That doesn’t change that we have—”

“—we have a job. I know.”

Did she realize how bad that sounded? Couldn’t she see the damage they’d done to the team?

It occurred to Connor now that after Dr. Litvinenko’s death, they’d overreacted. Instead of calling some favors, maybe taking some moderate-risk jobs with the Coil, they’d panicked.

There was no reason for that. Every mercenary has a job that goes wrong.

So why had they rushed out to Mara, as if every opportunity had instantly dried up? The whole thing—acting as if Litvinenko’s death poisoned their reputation in Coil Sector, going straight into the heart of the Talon Sector, then taking Mosiah’s job—had put the team on its back foot.

They hadn’t had an opportunity to recover.

And Connor had taken the blame for all of it. He’d missed the obvious.

Now Selen was asking him to step in after Rudy’s death and push the team just a little harder.

Connor’s shoulders drooped. “We can’t do this.”

Selen stopped. “Do what?”

“Ask them to give a little more. They’ve already given too much.”

She smiled and rested a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t you see? That’s what Rudy used to do. He’d stand up for the team, say we were pushing too hard. And when I told him to just do his job, he’d salute and go do as ordered.”

Was that what she was doing now? She was ordering Connor to do his job? “They need rest. We need to check our supplies, maybe search for a different approach.”

“You and Kalpana said this approach was fine. It is.”

“No, it isn’t. We didn’t see those bugs. They must have underground tunnels or something.”

“We can kill them.”

“The lizards—”

“Can also be killed. Connor, we’re mercenaries. Are you forgetting what we do for a living? We kill.”

“If we have to. We don’t go looking for battle.”

“These aren’t humans, remember? They’re obstacles. We’re exterminating them.”

Obstacle: That had been a Directorate term for the Nyango Revolt. In that case, it was meant to dehumanize Wentz and his people.

Selen was trying to diminish the danger of this threat.

Connor just needed some sleep. “I should’ve seen Litvinenko’s death for what it was.”

She stiffened. “What was that?”

“A bad omen. A warning.”

Selen stepped back, snorting. “Are you getting superstitious on me now?”

“No.” But if he was, that wasn’t such a bad thing.

“Get some sleep. We have a lot ahead of us.”

She sauntered to where she’d left her armor, looking over her shoulder at him once to be sure he was watching her.

But something pulled his attention from the sway of her hips.

He looked down and put a hand over the amulet pulsing against his chest.

Toshiko. What was going on?