Chapter 81

Chapter Eighty-One

Dinner was a pleasant fullness in Connor’s gut that produced a tear-inducing belch that shattered the silence in the empty passageway. Maybe he’d gone a little too heavy on the spices.

He took a long drink from the beer bottle, enjoying the bitter hops.

Then, without thinking about it, he came to a stop outside Kalpana’s cabin. He hadn’t checked in on her, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to yet.

How would she feel, being the sniper on overwatch and not shooting?

It would eat at her. She would have the same guilt he was feeling for escaping the ruins without Gregor. It might even be worse for her.

Connor’s fears about being alone in a cabin with Kalpana seemed foolish. Certainly, she’d changed since coming to the planet—flirting, skirting the line of professionalism, inviting conflict with Selen.

But he could always tell the scout no, and he owed Kalpana a chance to talk.

He activated the door chime.

Seconds passed, and he thought he felt the cold wind roll through the passageway. The lights flickered—

Or maybe his imagination and anxiety were playing with him.

Are you afraid of a woman, he asked himself.

The taunt was silly and misplaced. In an open field, of course he would be afraid of Kalpana. She was an expert marksman. But she wasn’t going to overpower him. He towered over her, and he was stronger.

What signal was he sending, though, showing up outside her hatch with a beer?

Think it through. Come back when the beer was no longer—

The hatch hissed open, revealing Kalpana. She wore a tight yellow T-shirt and white shorts that glowed against her gold skin, and her hair was down. Instead of a message, the shirt had a hand making a crude gesture.

But the way she looked at him—the coquettishness wasn’t in her eyes.

He relaxed. “I wanted to check in on you after…”

“What happened in the ruins?” She brushed her hair back and turned away.

Was it an invitation? Connor didn’t budge.

It sounded like she settled on her bunk. “Coming in or not?”

A tentative step left him feeling foolish. This was more like the old Kalpana. In fact, everyone seemed to be behaving more like normal since they’d escaped the ruins again.

He strode in confidently, but he leaned against the bulkhead opposite her bunk. “If you’re too tired, I can come back.”

She pulled her legs up onto the bunk and crossed them. “Don’t know if I can sleep, really.”

“Did you need to talk about Gregor?”

“No.” She rubbed the sole of her foot. “Maybe. A little.”

Connor finished the beer off. “What happened up there?”

“Why didn’t I shoot? Is that what you mean?”

“No. Selen told me she gave the order not to expose your position.”

“Then what?”

“Tell me how it felt to you. I need to know you’re not feeling guilty like…” He ran a thumb along the beer bottle. “Like me.”

She cursed. “I could’ve dropped three of those things before you reached that building. Easy. Vicente could’ve kept them off me.”

“Selen had a good reason—”

“No. She didn’t.” Kalpana’s long hair shielded some of her face, but her nose parted the strands enough that her eyes were visible. They were narrowed in anger.

“Selen wanted to be sure that she had a team that could retreat.”

“Don’t think your team is good enough? Don’t take them out there.”

It was the same argument Connor had been wrestling with internally. On the one hand, Selen was saying she had absolute confidence in completing the mission. Then when things became dodgy, she dropped support for the team.

There was an inconsistency in that Connor couldn’t reconcile.

But there was also a logic he could understand. “We have to complete the job.”

“Really? Dead people spend money now?”

“We’ve lost three people. We can still—”

“No we can’t. Rah-rah speeches don’t work on me.”

“I think we can pull this off. If we learn our lessons, if we tighten up our tactics—”

“She left you out there to die, Connor. Think about that.”

He rolled the beer bottle in his hand. The problem wasn’t that he hadn’t thought about being left without protection. Rather, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. “That’s part of what we have to learn: No more overextending.”

Kalpana leaned back and pulled her long hair back from her face. Color returned to her bottom lip where she’d been biting it. She brushed something away from her hip and shifted slightly.

Connor recognized what she’d knocked away. “Is that a Zo-Robot Hunter game device?”

She plucked it up from the sheet, turning the distinctive transparent green plastic shell in her fingers. The thing let out a cooing sound. “Yeah.”

“Are you a collector or something?”

“Just trying to find peace in memories.”

“You could sell that for a few thousand wings.”

The scout chuckled. “I’ve had offers of ten. My childhood’s not for sale.”

“Your parents must have made a lot of sacrifices to save up for that.”

Kalpana turned the device around so that its plastic shell sparkled like a gem. “My parents were the kind of people you opposed when you joined Wentz.”

“I didn’t oppose people; I opposed the system.”

“Sure.” She set the device back down on the bed. “They flew me to three different cities to hunt down those virtual robots. Make you sick?”

“No.” But someone flying around to play a game while others starved to death was disgusting.

“You thought I became a mercenary because I didn’t have a choice?”

“Most people do.”

“Not me.” She rubbed the faint traces of scars on her shoulder. “I knew people like you growing up. They told me I was entitled. ‘You have all the opportunities.’ That’s what they’d say.”

Like flying across the world to play a game. “Were they friends?”

“People I knew. Thing is, I didn’t choose how I was born. It’s not my fault my parents had money and influence.”

“It’s the system, not the people.”

“Sure.” She pulled her T-shirt out to look down at the gesturing hand. “This symbol—that’s what I have for those people.”

“Because they picked on you.”

“Because I let them make me feel bad about being lucky. You don’t let people dictate to you. You are what you are. You do what you do.”

Like taking the shot, he realized. Her anger wasn’t just at those people who’d made her feel bad years ago.

She was furious with Selen.

Connor held up the empty beer bottle. “Gotta get this to the recycler.”

“Sure.” Kalpana frowned. “Was gonna sleep anyway.”

“Don’t get down on yourself, Kalpana. You’re good at this.”

“Not good enough to save Gregor.” She buried her face in the pillow.

It wasn’t until Connor was out of the room that he relaxed.

The planet was still getting to people. In all the years he’d known Kalpana, she’d never flirted, now there was a constant tension. She’d never opened up about her childhood or what made her become a mercenary, and now she’d bared her soul.

But more importantly, he’d never before seen her even hint at disobeying orders.

No he wasn’t sure how she’d react if Selen gave an order Kalpana didn’t agree with.