12. LARA: MY FIRST ORGASM BY THE HANDS OF A MAN

“Do you trust me?”
“Yes,” I answered without hesitation.
Silas smiled at me. This time both of his hands slid over my ass to the back of my thighs. He gripped them firmly and lifted me against his body while guiding my legs around his waist. My hands shot out to grip his shoulders. I stared at his face as he walked down the hall towards my bedroom. Shouldering the door open, he entered and walked straight to the bed.
One of his hands slid up to rest between my shoulder blades as he lowered me. His body came down on top of me. I stared up at him with a little fear but also a little excitement. All he did was watch me silently. I was scared that he would change his mind. What if he actually decided that I wasn’t worth the trouble?
“We will take things slow,” he said softly.
“I’m scared.”
“You have nothing to be scared about. I’ll show you just how wrong those bastards were.”
I swallowed loudly. “W-what if they were right?”
Instead of answering me, Silas kissed me again. He deepened the kiss but kept his hands still. Breaking the kiss, he slowly trailed his lips over my cheek and down along my jaw. A gasp fell from my lips when he suddenly bit down on my earlobe before sucking on the skin.
I tilted my head to the side to give him access to my neck. Goose bumps broke out over my skin when he pressed his lips to a spot right below my ear. He paused, and then nibbed the spot, making my toes curl. I got lost in the feel of his lips on my neck. I was completely unaware of his hand moving until I felt one hand sliding beneath my shirt.
Silas paused when he felt me tense. I squeezed my eyes closed when he raised his head. I didn’t want to see the disappointment in his eyes.
“Look at me, baby.”
I shook my head before turning it away from him. He shifted on top of me and then cupped my cheek, turning my head towards him. His thumb softly brushed against my bottom lip before trailing up over my cheekbone. Shock rushed through me when he pressed a kiss to my nose and then my closed eyelids.
But the shock quickly turned into sadness when Silas climbed off me. I gripped the sheets and tried to even my breathing. Tears burned the back of my eyes and pain flashed through my chest. He was walking away from me. I knew it was going to happen. I knew he wouldn’t see me as worth it.
“I’m not leaving, Lara.”
My eyes snapped open. Silas hovered over me with a small smile playing around his lips. He straightened and gripped my hips. A squeal fell from my lips when he picked me up and just threw me higher up the bed. I bounced slightly before stilling. His smile widened when our eyes locked.
“I’m just going to make you a little more comfortable before we continue.”
Silas gripped my ankle and raised my foot. I watched his hands as he swiftly untied the laces and pulled my shoe off. He dropped it on the floor before grabbing my other ankle and doing the same. Dropping the other shoe on the floor, he placed a knee on the bed and slowly crawled up and over me.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
I blinked at him. “You’re not leaving?”
“I told you, hadn’t I?” He cupped my cheek again. “I’m on a mission tonight and I’m not leaving until it’s completed.”
A giggle fell from my lips. After only a second of hesitation, I reached up and gripped the back of his neck. My eyes trailed over his face before dropping lower to the glimpse of dark hair peeking out from underneath his dress shirt. Somehow he had lost his tie and undid the top buttons of his shirt.
“Are you shy?”
“What?”
“Are you shy?” he repeated his question. “I want to undress you but I don’t want to make you feel any more uncomfortable.”
Undress me? He wanted me to be naked with him? I’ve never been completely naked with anyone before. I was no supermodel.
“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours?”
My eyes snapped back to his. “What are you? Five?”
Silas chuckled. “No.”
“I don’t have a very fit body.”
“So?”
“I don’t have big boobs and a flat stomach or—”
I fell silent when he pressed a finger against my lips. The smile had slipped from his face and his brow had dipped into a deep frown. Silas’s hand slid down to my throat. I blew out a breath when he gripped my neck in a firm grip.
“I don’t want to ever hear you talk such shit about yourself ever again, is that clear? Forget everything those bastards ever told you.” He lowered his face. “You are fucking gorgeous, Lara.”
Tears filled my eyes. I searched his eyes and only found sincerity. He wasn’t lying to me. Silas truly meant what he said. I blinked rabidly to stop the tears from falling. My hands slid down the side of his neck to his cheeks.
“You really mean it?”
“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it.” His lips brushed mine. “If I ever hear you speak or think of yourself like that, I’ll pull you over my lap and spank this sweet ass of yours.”
Silas squeezed my ass with one big hand. A shiver raced down my spine when I thought of him just doing that. Instead of evoking fear, it actually made my heat flood me. I tried to discretely squeeze my legs together, but of course he caught me. Silas smirked. He sat back on his knees, straddling my hips. His eyes never left mine as he reached up to start unbuttoning his shirt.
I grabbed hold of the sheets again as my eyes dropped to watch the movement of his hands. With every button undone another inch of skin was revealed. He had a light dusting of dark hair covering his chest. It was just enough to make him look manly. Silas paused halfway and reached down to tug his shirt from his pants before continuing to unbutton his pants. When he was done, he shrugged the shirt off and threw it aside.
My breath got caught in my throat once he was completely shirtless. I knew he was well-built from the way his clothes fit, but nothing could’ve prepared me for the first real glimpse at his body. His pants hung low on his lean hips. Silas had those indents on his hips that formed a V and a trail of dark hair that disappeared beneath the band of his pants. My eyes slowly trailed back up—over his six-pack—and to the large tattoo covering the left side of his chest, shoulder, and part of his ribs.
It was scary but beautiful at the same time.
I sat up and reached out to press my hand against the colourful ink. The tattoo began at the top of the shoulder and spread over his chest and then down to his side over his ribs. It looked like a wolf surrounded by trees and there was a full moon peeking out between the branches of the trees.
My eyes snapped up to when he sucked in a sharp breath as my hand trailed down his ribs. His eyes were squeezed shut and his lips pursed. I instantly pulled away but his hand shot out to grip my wrist. He was now watching me silently with narrowed eyes. Silas raised my hand and pressed it to his chest again.
“Touch me,” he muttered huskily.
I reached up with my other hand and pressed it against his chest. My breathing sped up and I softly traced his skin. His skin was warm and so soft. I hesitated before sliding my hands lower to trace the ridges of his six-pack. His muscles clenched. Before my hands could slide any lower, Silas pulled away.
I tilted my head back just in time for him to slam his lips against mine. Silas’s hands slid into my hair and tugged slightly. He tilted my head back more as he deepened the kiss. I was barely away of his hand disappearing from my hair and moving down to grip the hem of my shirt. Only when he started tugging it upward did I become aware.
“Breathe, baby,” he whispered against my lips. “We’re taking it slow.”
“Silas.”
He tugged my shirt up and over my head. I instantly crossed my arms over my chest. Silas gently gripped my arms. I glanced up at him from beneath my lashes when he didn’t say anything else. He was silently watching me. The longer I prevented things from going any further the more I could brace myself for the pain that would come when he was proven wrong. He would walk away. I was sure of that. Once he left, I could pack the rest of my things and leave. But then there was Andrea’s wedding. I would have to stay until after the wedding and then leave in the middle of the night so she wouldn’t be able to stop me. I just couldn’t stop imagining how difficult things would be if he left me.
“You can try and draw this out for as long as you want to, sweetheart,” he whispered against my ear. “I’m not giving up so easily. One way or another, I’m going to show you.”
The pain that was about to follow was unpreventable. I should just get over with it. The more time I spend with him the more it would hurt when he walked away.