68. LARA: HONEYMOON, PART TWO

“What about a hike?”
“A hike in this weather. Are you mad?”
“You’ll love it, I promise.” Silas slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me against him. “There’s a great view at the top and a place where we can cool down.” His head lowered. “We can have a picnic and make love under—”
“There are no stars out yet, Casanova.”
He chuckled and buried his face against my neck. “If that’s what you want, sweetness, I’m sure it could be arranged.”
I sighed when he started placing open mouth kisses against my skin. “I’d like that very much.”
Silas packed a picnic basket while I went in search of some towels and a blanket we could use. When I returned, Silas had about everything ready. All that was left to do was for us to change our footwear before we hit the trail.
The walk was hell but the view was spectacular. We spend a few minutes enjoying the view before Silas led me down another trail and to a waterfall. We swam in the small pool before we stretched out on a blanket under one of the trees and enjoyed our lunch. I had fallen asleep soon afterwards, only to be woken by Silas who made slow wondrous love to me until we both fell asleep again.

***

“How long are we staying her?” I asked Silas softly as I glanced at him from across the table.
His eyes darted up to mine for a second before dropping again. “How long do you want to stay?”
I studied him as I pondered over his question. It’s been a few days since we went on that hike and I couldn’t help but feel like something had happened. He had received a phone call shortly after we had returned from the hike, and whatever it was about, it made him withdraw from me slightly.
“Why do I have the feeling that you really don’t want an answer to that question?”
Silas sighed and pushed the cutting board aside. Without saying a word, he got up, grabbed the board and carried it over to the counter. I jumped when he just dropped it. Instead of turning back to me, he gripped the edge of the counter and hung his head.
I frowned and after only a moment’s hesitation, I got up and walked over to him. His body tensed when I pressed my hand against his back.
“Silas?”
“I need to go for a run,” he said. “Stay inside the house, Lara.”
He didn’t look at me when he stormed out of the kitchen. Silas stopped, glanced up at the sky and then started stripping. I watched him as he shifted and then took off running. My shoulder sagged the moment he disappeared from sight.
I cleaned the kitchen and then wondered around the house. I wanted to go for a walk along the beach, but he had told me to stay in the house. My frown deepened with every passing minute. Who had called him? Had I done something to upset him? As I turned from the window, my eyes fell on the closed office door.
Curiosity ate at me and usually I wouldn’t be snooping, but if it meant finding out what happened to Silas then I would jump at the opportunity. My legs felt like jelly as I made my way towards the door. I gripped the door handle tightly and blew out a breath before I pushed the door open.
The room was clean like I knew it would be. Silas hated a mess. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. My fingers trailed over the spines of the books as I walked around the room. I smiled as I remembered the last time I was in this room. We christened about every surface we possibly could.
I sunk down in the chair behind the desk and leaned back. My eyes darted over to the books. There was a wide variety of genres to choose from. The owner of this house sure liked to read. I sat up with my mind made up, but as I moved to stand my eyes fell on Silas’s phone.
Grabbing it, I swiped my thumb across the screen to unlock it. Instead of it being the home screen, it opened up on Silas’s messages. Ethan’s name was at the top of the messages. I hesitated but opened the message when I realized that it had already been read.
Hey brother, how are things going? How’s Lara? I hope both of you are doing okay and enjoying your honeymoon. I’ve got some good news. . .I’m a father! My baby boy was born early this morning. He’s so fucking small but the most beautiful thing I’ve even seen. God, I can’t wait for you to see him. Mom says he looks just like we did but I don’t believe her. Anyway, I have to go. Just wanted to let you know and find out how things are going.
I reached up and wiped the tears away. So he had a baby boy. I scrolled down and froze. The air was knocked from my lungs when I realized that Ethan had sent a picture—two actually. One was of a baby wrapped in a tiny blue blanket. It was clearly taken as soon as he was born. Another photo was of Ethan holding the baby in his arms and staring down at him. There as another message after the photo.
Got any names? Avery wants to name him after her brother. I don’t think that it’s a good idea. Maybe you got something that she might like.
I quickly locked the phone and placed it back down with a shaky hand. He had a baby boy. Surely the baby was born too early? I couldn’t help myself; I reached for the phone again and looked at the pictures. Tears filled my eyes and slowly trailed own my cheeks as I stared at the photo of the baby.
What would it feel like to hold him? Would he smell like baby powder? Would he open his eyes and stare up at me or maybe smile? Would he clutch at my finger if I placed mine in his hand? A sob fell from my lips as the pain in my chest intensified. It could’ve been our baby—Silas’s and mine.
“Lara?”
The phone slipped from my as my head jerked up. Silas stood in the doorway with his fists clenched at his side and his chest heaving. His eyes dropped to the phone and then darted back up to my face.
“I—” He swallowed loudly. “I was going to tell you.”
Silas entered the room and walked around the desk. He hesitated and then knelt on the floor in front of me. Shaky hands grabbed mine and raised them to his lips. They lingered on my knuckles for a few seconds before he lowered them.
“I’m sorry, Lara. If I could then I would change things. I would make it hurt less for you. I would go back and change what I had done.”
“Y-you can’t d-do that.”
“Lara—”
“If you go back t-then thing w-would be different,” I hiccupped. “W-we would never have met b-because you would n-never have l-left home.”
He blinked at me and then smiled. “That’s true. Tell me what you’re thinking, sweetness.”
I swallowed and licked my lips. Pulling my hand from his, I wiped the tears away. It was hard to put my feelings into words. It was hard to explain exactly what I was feeling. Silas got to his feet and pulled me along with him. He led me out of the house and down to the beach where we sat down on the sand. He kept hold of my hand but he didn’t push me into talking.
“I feel envious,” I finally said. “I feel like that’s suppose to be our baby, the one that we lost because of me.”
“It wasn’t because of you. I explained things to you, sweetness. It would have happened no matter what.”
“Silas, why did you marry me?” I turned towards him. “Why did you marry me knowing that I would never be able to give you a family?”
Silas gripped the back of my neck and pressed his forehead against mine. “I married you because I love you and I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life without you. So what if you can’t give me a baby. There are hundreds of thousands of children out there who needs parents.”
“W-what about what we are? How are we going to introduce a human child into our life if we have to go back to live with the pack?”
“Maybe the child won’t be human. Maybe he or she will be like us.” He gave me a small smile. “There are a lot of packs out there, Lara. A lot of children who had lost their families by war, sickness or other unpredictable deaths. They might not be our blood but we could give them the family they deserve. What do you say, sweetness?”
“I’d like that very much,” I whispered. “With you. I’d like that with you.”
He pulled back and cupped my cheek. “And Ethan?”
His eyes darted between mine as he waited for my answer. I licked my lips and then gave him a small wobbly smile. “He has his own family now.”