Chapter 33: Avoidance

Since Jane’s warning to leave Arthur alone, Rachel had been avoiding Arthur every chance she got. No more carpools. No more hanging out in public. No more dates or kisses, fake or otherwise. She wasn’t sure if Arthur noticed the difference or not, since he was so busy studying.

Even at the house, she would excuse herself if she was talking to Beatrice and Arthur came into the room. She did her best to make sure it came off as polite not rude and under the guise of giving him quality time, which was limited until after he passed the bar, with his grandma.

On her walks into town and sometimes when she caught the bus, she realized that Jane’s words led her to the tipping point of her relationship with Arthur. Amid all of the arguments and tears, she admitted to herself that she had strong feelings for the guy. As wonderful as that could be, Jane made it clear that a future of Rachel and Arthur together for a lifetime was not hers to have.

Rachel found herself agreeing with Jane. A British wife like her would be able to support him in his career goals and understand the bulk of his background. An American girl could only make fresh old wounds from a brief yet painful time beginning with him as unwanted and being shuttled around then ending with him taking care of his dying mother.

“Do I love him enough to let him go?” she wondered, knowing the answer before she finished formulating the question. All of that work at carving a place out in the community only in order to yield to another woman who was there before her and who implied she was more fit to be his wife. Now Rachel was thinking of giving it all up.

She did her work as if in a daze. She wasn’t aware that Faye was watching her as she wiped the tables off for the third time.

“Honey, are you alright? You couldn’t get the tables any cleaner,” she said, gently teasing her.

“Oh, right. Sorry, I was just thinking.”

“Think any harder and those tables would be fit for the Queen.”

Rachel smiled, but inside her heart was breaking. Living in the same small parish as Arthur and his choice of another as his wife and mother to her children would destroy her.

“Sorry, Faye.”

“No problem. We had a pretty busy morning. Do you need a break before the tea time crowd?”

“I’ll push through.”

“That was not a suggestion. As my Assistant Manager, I need you to be in top form. Take a walk. Clear your head.”

“Ok,” acknowledging Faye’s firm direction would help her get through the rest of the day and maybe bring her some peace of mind.

Rachel window shopped and strolled, trying to recapture her thoughts back from the impending loss of a man she almost had. Even if he did not choose Jane, small town life did not make living with a broken heart any easier. Rachel wondered if she’d have a destiny like Henry: desperate to connect with the next new single person who came to town?

She had to put away her thoughts and get back to business. Just as she was about to reach for the bakery’s door handle she felt the door swing open. It was Arthur.

“I’ve missed you lately,” he said, welcoming her with open arms and kissing her on the forehead. “You’re not the only one who can give a spontaneous display of affection,” he said, smiling at her.

“Oh wow,” she responded, completely transparently, “I’ve been thinking about you all day long.”

“We’ve got to get you a phone so you can communicate. How about that as a business expense, bakery owner?” he asked, partially teasing and partially serious.

She knew she could not get a phone in case her father had his security personnel watching and waiting for her to do just that. If only things were so simple.

“I came for tea as a pretense to see you. How about a dinner of beer and burgers tonight at the pub? It’s karaoke night, so that ought to be fun.”

“I don’t know...I don’t think so...Faye might need me to stay.”

“No. I checked beforehand with her and she thinks you have been working so hard that you need a night off.”

“Arthur, don’t you need every precious moment to study? I don’t want to interfere with your goals.”

“I need balance, Rachel, and a night out with you would help me to get refocused when I resume studying later on tonight. Plus we need to catch up.”

“I’ll give you a firm ‘maybe’.”

“Okay. Short notice, I know. But a firm ‘maybe’ is better than a ‘definite no’.”

“Definitely...I mean, I agree with you.”

“Great. See you there at eight, if the ‘maybe’ becomes a ‘yes’.”

Once he left, the bakery filled up and Rachel served the customers while engaging in an internal debate of whether or not she should go out with Arthur tonight. He had noticed after all. And if he noticed, others such as Jane, Faye, Beatrice and even Henry did, too.

The entire week without him she had lived inside of her head. She lamented the fact that she had no one to turn to about her problems. Perhaps she should get a therapist. Perhaps she should open up to Arthur and let the chips fall where they may. She had feelings for him, but she did not know if the feelings were mutual or if he cared to reciprocate.

“If you’re debating whether or not to go,” Faye said after the rush, “I think you should go. Spend some time around young people your own age. Arthur is a solid fellow. He’s a hard worker and a caring human being. He’s always been that way and I think big things are headed his way. Don’t let anyone try to take away your destiny.”

“Thanks for that, but it’s, it’s just... a little bit more complicated.”

“How complicated could it be, Honey? You like him and he obviously likes you. Give it a full chance or worry for a lifetime about the one that got away.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Yes. Look, it’s none of my business, but when you two were starting to spend more time together, you sailed through the day with a song in your heart. Now, something, only you know what, has changed. You have maybe one great love in your life. Trust your heart, you’ve found yours. Don’t talk yourself out of it in your head.”

“Okay,” Rachel finally said after debating for a while. She was going to meet Arthur at the pub. She only prayed that nothing bad happened from that decision.