Chapter 34: Leaving

Despite Faye’s words to her, she still didn’t think that Arthur would ever forgive her for lying to him, so it was best to just leave.

Arthur decided to call his grandma and let her know he would be late getting home.

“Hi Grandma,” he said, excitement evident in his voice, “I’m meeting Rachel at the pub tonight, so we might be late getting back to the house.”

“Really? Well, that’s super,” she said reflecting her surprise.

“Grandma?”

“I guess that question implies that you don’t know. I think you need to tell Rachel how you really feel before it’s too late.”

“Why are you saying this?”

“If I were you, I’d be open with her.”

“Open?”

“If you have any feelings for the young lady, as a close friend hoping for more in the future, this might be a good time to share that with her.”

“I see. Why now?”

“She may feel like she’s lost you to another; so, your feelings for her could make her feel otherwise.”

“Are you sure, Grandma?”

“You doubt me? If you don’t, at least let her know that she matters to you.”

“Okay. I don’t want to be late. I’ll do my best.”

“I’d expect nothing less, grandson.”

# # #

Arthur made it to the pub right at eight. He found Rachel in a booth by herself with a pitcher of beer and two mugs.

“Hi Arthur,” she said, with the excitement she used to have in her voice when she saw him all but gone.

“Rachel,” he said, kissing her on the cheek.

What she wouldn’t give right then for another one of the surprise, passionate kisses on the mouth they had shared instead of a friendly peck. It was probably for the best. She was already starting to distance herself from Arthur so that she could bear to leave him. Intellectually, she knew it was the right thing to do, but emotionally, she wished there was some other way.

“I see you started drinking already. One of those days, huh?”

“Yeah. But the whole pitcher is for us to share.”

“Ok. Did you order any food to go with it? I told Grandma that we’d miss dinner at home.”

“Oh. No, I didn’t.” It was hard for her, despite pretending it was no big deal, but her heart was being broken despite the thought of leaving him and everything she built behind. “I am going to leave Clovelly.”

“I thought the small town aspect of Clovelly and being part of a small community was what you liked most.”

“Well, I misjudged things,” she said, feeling a lump in her throat and unshed tears burning her eyes. “I’ll have more opportunities in London and I’ll leave you...”

“Right. You’ll leave me period. I know we got off on a rocky start, but you shouldn’t leave now...or ever.”

“Why not? You, Beatrice, Faye, Henry and Jane, you all have a history here. I was crazy to think I would fit in as an expatriate outsider in a parish of 400. Maybe it’s better for me to be an expatriate in London with other Americans.”

“Rachel, where is all of this coming from? Maybe at first I refused to let you into my life, but now that I have, I want to keep you there...that means keeping you here. Who got to you?”

“What? No, no one, really. I just feel like it is better to move on before getting too deeply attached or involved.”

“Please don’t...don’t go.”

“Why not? I’m no one to you; I’m a nobody. You have a history with the other girls in town. They would be a better fit in the long term.”

“What? Are you completely off your rocker? None of those girls matter to me like that. What are you talking about?”

“After all I’m just a random American,” she continued as if he wasn’t saying anything at all.

“Okay. Now I know what’s up. Jane. Jane got to you. Don’t let her intimidate you. If I wanted to be with her romantically, it would’ve happened by now, trust me. It’s her fantasy, not my reality. Are we clear?”

“Really?”

“She’s full of hot air with her ultimata. She thinks she can bully people into getting and doing whatever she wants. But even if she was the last single lady around, with or without our history, I would not choose her. She’s a friend I grew up and studied with. Nothing more.”

“Arthur, I didn’t want to stand in your way. I didn’t want to stand by and watch you choose someone else, either. I’m just a little confused about us right now.”

“Then let’s choose to seek clarity from confusion together and figure it all out and work it out together. We owe each other that much. I mean, I’d hope you would be willing to do that much.”

“Of course,” she mumbled, knowing that he was right, but also aware that he did not know the whole truth behind her willingness to leave.

“If you left Clovelly, you would make me very, very unhappy. Look, I thought I only had room in my heart for a narrow number of safe people after all the hurt I experienced growing up. I was so focused on my goals and my life’s plan that I had shut the door on getting to know other people, especially an American woman. But you came to town, so different. You took me by surprise. I don’t know if my feelings as someone new in your life would count in your decision to stay or go, but I hope you would choose me and Clovelly.”

“Arthur, that’s all I needed to hear. I’d be unhappy if I left town, too. There’s so much more I’d like to explore here in town and with you.”

“Good. Likewise. I think we have an understanding now. The special of the day is shepherd’s pie. Let’s eat. All of this talk has made me extremely hungry.”

They dined together. Arthur was at peace, but Rachel was just faking it. What had she agreed to? A face off with Jane? Risking the threat of being exposed? Telling Arthur everything before he found out? She was not good at confrontation, so for the time being, she would wait and see and live the lies for a little while longer.