Chapter Fifty-One

I lay on my back, eyes fixated on the ceiling. Despite the inviting warmth of Adrian’s body beside mine beneath the covers, I can’t find sleep. He’s been snoring softly beside me for the past two hours or so while my mind races, still thinking about everything that I was informed of yesterday. Though it was nice to be able to talk with Serene about my feelings toward all of this, there’s still so much that I have to sort out in my head. The dread of Jas’s hidden condition fills my mind repeatedly, followed by the relieving hope that I may be able to help him. My mind is a vicious cycle of thinking about helping him, and going behind Adrian’s back to be doing so. Maybe Adrian just doesn’t know that magic can help him with Jasper, or maybe he already tried and failed with that method.

I want to tell him so badly, but every time the urge arises, I turn my head to look at his sleeping face, so relaxed and unguarded. I can’t forget the hard look in his eye when he made me promise him that I wouldn’t so much as think about trying to unveil my power. He certainly has his reasons to be against it with the risk it may pose to my safety, but if exposing my location to these Hybrids is what it takes to save Jasper, then I can’t say that I’m afraid of doing it. Maybe the campus of the academy will be protected enough that I can practice my skills before having to fight them. Surely De Leon is powerful enough to hold them off for a while while I train, if even for a few days. Even if he can’t, those things are responsible for killing my mother. With or without training, I will go down swinging if it means I come head to head with one.

The feeling of needing to avenge my mother’s death is a new feeling to me, and I’m still trying to cope with the thought. This whole time, I believed that it was simply a horrible car wreck that killed her. It was much easier to believe the lie, considering what the truth actually is. She was actually a powerful badass who used her last breath to protect me from those Hybrids and wiped my memory of the event. I knew that she was strong and kind in my memories of her, but I never thought that she was anything other than my normal, human mother who loved me and my father to the ends of the earth. My parents both decided to split from the organization in order to raise me as a human so that I might be safe from those Hybrids. Yet, here I am, wanting to undo the cloaking spell that would lead them right to me. I can’t help but feel guilty that my mother’s death was in vain, but I promise myself that I won’t let it be entirely for nothing.

Unable to take the spiraling thoughts any longer, I turn to swipe my phone off of the nightstand. It’s almost three in the morning, but I decide to take a shot and send Serene a message. She’s a college student, so maybe she’ll still be up doing homework or something. I type the classic, ‘You up?’ and press send, making sure that my phone is silenced on the off chance that she is still awake. I place the phone on my chest and sigh, turning to look out the window of the balcony. The snow has stopped falling finally, revealing the fresh powder of snow resting on top of everything in sight. Even the footprints on the deck have been filled in completely, leaving no trace that Adrian and I were ever there.

I can’t explain why, but the absent footprints remind me of the three men that were following us on our way here. They were Vampires, weren’t they? Why were they following us in the first place, and how did they know who I am? Maybe they were actually just tailing Adrian to see what he was doing, though I don’t know why they would trouble themselves over that. And what was it about the owner of that Vineyard that made our stalkers subdued? Is it some sort of safe haven for each of the species to coexist and discuss matters civilly? I guess that would explain why Raphael’s appearance served as a deterrent as if he was reminding the three men to remember their place beneath his roof. Maybe I would be safe to practice my magic there, instead of the school. Raphael seems to hold enough sway over the divided communities to control them while on his land, so maybe that would be enough to keep the Hybrids at bay, too.

I sigh again, turning back to the shadows that dance on the ceiling, cast by the light of the fireplace. I hate not having enough information about anything to make an educated decision on how to proceed. If I don’t want Adrian to catch on, then my only options for gaining the knowledge I need will have to come from either Serene or Dean De Leon. Even at that, I get the sneaking suspicion that I won’t be able to keep Adrian in the dark about it for very long. He’s way too observant to not notice I’m trying to go places without him, and I have the feeling he’ll follow me if I try to go with Serene anyway. I don’t know how I’ll manage to keep him in the dark.

Maybe I should just tell him and try to convince him of my reasonings. I know better than that, though. I’m his Mate now. That means that he’s not going to let me out of his sight for any reason, and he sure as hell won’t let me put myself in danger. As an Alpha, I’m assuming that he won’t take to being disobeyed very lightly. He’d probably kidnap me and force me into hiding somewhere to keep me from ever trying to awaken my magic again. He’d probably let Jas die from the Madness way before he’d even consider letting me do something dangerous to potentially help him. And yet, I have to try. I’m so tired of living in the darkness, looking at the world through rose-colored glasses. I owe it to Jasper to try and help him at least, even if I fail. Even if I die trying.

Adrian stirs in his sleep, mumbling something that I can’t decipher. Come to think of it, I’m not sure that what he said was even in English. It’s easy to forget that he was born in South Korea since his accent is all but gone when he speaks. I wonder if it was hard learning a new language so young, and what brought him here. I know that his dad is the Alpha of the North American wolf pack, so why was Adrian born elsewhere? I wonder if his mother was native to Korea and was trying to keep him safe. I wonder what happened to her since Adrian has never mentioned her. What happens to the Mates of Alpha’s who disobey? I get the feeling that I’ll never be able to meet her in order to find out.

I swallow at the thought and reach for my phone. I’m thinking so much about Jasper, so I may as well send him a message. It’s going to be so hard to keep myself from acting differently around him now that I know the truth, though. I don’t want him to worry about me finding out, so I’ll have to use my best actress skills to keep my knowledge hidden. The display of my phone tells me that Serene responded, so I eagerly open her message with a quick glance to determine that Adrian is still fast asleep.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Her text reads.

My fingers fly expertly over the keyboard as I reply, “Did you find anything out yet? I know it’s still too soon, but I can’t sleep thinking about it.”

There’s a long pause as the bubbles caused by her typing back blink across the screen, making me hold my breath in anticipation. “I looked into Jasper’s family history, which wasn’t easy to get my hands on, I’ll have you know. Anyway, it looks like Madness runs through his bloodline since some of the first Werewolves were created. It’s a pretty powerful curse to run tear through lineage for so long.”

“Wait, so the Madness is a curse? As in, a Sorcerer placed it on his family?” I clarify, shocked by the revelation. I’m not sure why I assumed it was some disease passed down genetically like a mental illness. Curses can be broken, right?

“Yes, it’s one of the most ancient curses I’ve ever heard of. I’m still not sure how to break it, though. I think Aurelius could tell us more about whether it can even be broken. Can you make it to his study tomorrow?”

I spare a glance at Adrian, feeling guilty for conspiring with how innocent he looks right now. “I can try. It might be harder than I thought to keep Adrian out of this.”