Just a voice in my head

Amaris

 
When I wake next to the creek, darkness has taken over the forest save for the moon peeking through the treetops. 
Getting to my feet, I decide that I should probably try to find my way back to town. Although, it will likely prove difficult since I'm not familiar with these woods.
'*I got you*,' the voice in my head says.
*How?* I ask, curious.
'*Give me control and I can scent our way back*,' she tells me as I begin walking away from the creek.
Not far from where I had lain, hidden by a bush, I stumble across the black wolf who had been chasing me earlier. He'd been watching me.
The thought makes me uncomfortable since I hadn't picked up on his presence, but my wolf speaks up, bringing me some comfort.
'*He means us no harm, and if he had, he would have taken us having been asleep to his advantage.*'
*But how can you be sure?* I ask as I give the wolf a wide berth, walking as quietly as a field mouse, determined to not wake him.
'*Because he is ours, as I already told you*,' she says this in a sarcastic tone as if she's getting annoyed at my questioning her.
*Don't give me that attitude!* I scold, *You are just a voice in my head after all.
With a huff, I can practically feel her rolling her eyes, 'We both know that you don't really believe that. Now, give me control so I can get us out of here. I'm hungry.' As if on cue, my stomach growls, and I chortle out a laugh at the sound.
*How do I give you control?* I ask, realizing that I know nothing about being a wolf other than what I've read in my romance books.
'*Just relax, close your eyes, and mentally pull yourself to the back of your mind. That should allow me to take over.*'
Taking a deep breath, I do as she's instructed and mentally hand the reins over to this other being in my head. And just like that, I'm a bystander in my own body. Only, I'm not and it's not really even my body, it's hers—my wolfs'.
This is all too crazy to be real—only I saw it with my own eyes, didn't I? In the reflection staring back at me at the creek?
'*You will get used to this, to me*,' She tells me. '*I am a part of you.*'
*But how?*
'*You were born this way*,' she says, stopping to sniff the air, then taking off again.
*I was not born this way. I was born human*, I insist.
'*You were. Your brother, too. Us wolves cannot emerge until your eighteenth birthday*,' she explains.
*But, that makes no sense. My birthday was almost a week ago*, I say, becoming more and more confused.
'*Yes, I came to you then but did not reveal myself. You were grieving. I did not want to throw anything more at you,*' she tells me, her voice gentle, the pain of our loss clearly affecting her also.
'Then why reveal yourself today? I'm still grieving, that hasn't changed.'
If a wolf could sigh, I'm pretty sure she just let one out. 'With tonight being the full moon, and our mate so close, I could not control the shift.'
Eventually, she emerges from the protection of the forest, and I realize three things.
First, I'm a wolf and probably shouldn't go traipsing through town like this.
Second, I don't know how to change back into my human form.
And third, I really, really don't want to go home. It's not like I have anything there anymore to go back to now that Axel is gone.
With a quick shift to my left, I duck back into the trees. *If you can follow our scent, can that other wolf do the same?*
'*Yes*.'
*Can you mask it?* I ask, not wanting him, or anyone else for that matter, to find me.
'*No, but I can retrace our path*,' she tells me, heading back in the direction we had just come from.
*Won't that just take me right back to him?* a mixture of dread and excited anticipation that I don't understand filling me.
'*Possibly,*' she says in a humorous tone. '*But, would that really be so bad?*'
*I don't want to be around anyone right now*, I tell her with a sigh.
'*But he's our mate,*' she insists, sounding irritated.
*So* you *say*, I reply, becoming exasperated with the mate talk.
'*Do you not feel the pull towards him?*' She asks cautiously.
*Do I?* I wonder more to myself than to her, *I don't know honestly. I mean he's incredibly hot, but I'm feeling so many different things right now, it's kind of overwhelming*, I tell her.
As she comes back upon the sleeping black wolf, she stops to take him in.
*He's so big*, I tell her, looking at him through her eyes, *and he does smell really good.*
'*Yes, he does,*' she murmurs back. '*How does he make you feel?*'
*What do you mean?*
*'How does he make you feel? How did it feel to be in his arms earlier while we were shifting?*' She asks, taking a quiet step toward him.
*Calm*, I tell her, thinking back on how it felt to be cradled against his chest. *Both earlier and now, he makes me feel calm.*
'*Good*,' she states, leaning her face down to nuzzle his neck.
*What are you doing?* I shout when he begins to whimper and move, making me begin to freak out. *Please, move. Go. Run!*
'*But why?*' She asks, confused by my sudden panic.
*Because I want to be alone. To figure all of this out and wrap my head around everything*, I tell her as she quietly steps back from him. When she continues to the stream, stepping into it to cross, I continue speaking.* I'm not ready to face him yet.*