Forty-seven

**Bennett’s POV**

The memories came in waves, unpredictable and uncontrollable, pulling me back to moments I was trying to make sense of. I was sitting in my office, but my mind was miles away, lost between the days that had passed and the choices I had made.

I remembered the way Clara looked at me that day in the office, a mix of admiration and something else I didn’t want to name. I could have pulled back, could have kept the distance I always maintained, but something in me broke at that moment, a crack I didn’t know how to fix. It was as if Clara had been the spark that ignited something dormant inside me, something I wasn’t sure I wanted to face. Her presence had become a constant temptation, a reminder of how far I had drifted from the life I was supposed to be living.

As I relived those moments, I also remembered the night I came home and found Tessa and Mason together. The coldness I felt at that moment was not just a reaction to what I saw but a defense against everything I had been feeling for months. The absence, the distance, and the growing tension between us were open wounds that no one bothered to treat. I had pushed Tessa away, but seeing her and Mason together brought a sharp, painful realization: I was losing her, not to someone else, but because of my own choices.

"You took your time; we thought you’d be back yesterday," Mason's voice echoed in my head, a provocation that irritated me more than I wanted to admit. He was comfortable in our home, with Tessa, while I was breaking my back to support everything. The anger mixed with jealousy grew, but my response was cold, controlled. "I’d say it looks exactly like it looks," I said, trying to keep control. But inside, I was falling apart.

I remembered Tessa trying to smooth things over, offering a coffee, a gesture so ordinary that it almost broke my facade. "Not now, Tessa," I said, trying to keep the emotional distance. I was tired of being distant, but it was the only way I knew how to handle everything. I didn’t know how to express the storm inside me without causing more damage.

In the days that followed, I watched Mason and Tessa try to adjust to my return, but the tension was still there, a constant shadow over us. I wanted to fix things, I wanted to be more present, but the pressure of work and my inner turmoil made each day more difficult. My mind was constantly divided—one part consumed by corporate deadlines and another drowning in the personal failures I couldn’t escape.

My focus shifted back to Clara, the one person who seemed to understand the chaos that was my life. At the office, she was a safe harbor amid the storm. Her professionalism, the way she listened without judgment, was a relief. But the moment when we almost kissed was a turning point. I could feel the thin line that separated us, and part of me wanted to cross it. I knew it would be a betrayal of everything I was trying to hold on to, but the pull was undeniable.

I replayed that moment repeatedly. The stumble, the unexpected contact, the closeness that left us both breathless. "It's okay, Clara. It happens," I said, trying to downplay what was impossible to ignore. The heat of the moment was etched in me, and even knowing it was wrong, I couldn’t erase the feeling. Every interaction since had been tinged with an unspoken tension that made me question my self-control.

Yet, every time I left the office and came home, the reality of my family life hit me hard. Tessa and Mason were there, trying to move on, trying to fix what was left of our relationship. The guilt slowly consumed me, and I knew I was at a turning point. I couldn’t keep straddling two worlds. The person I had become in the office was not the husband and father I needed to be at home.

As I stared out the office window, I realized it wasn’t just about work or a moment of weakness. It was about the choices I needed to make to be a present father and husband, something I had neglected for far too long. Tessa and Mason were not the villains in this story; I was sabotaging myself by pushing them away. I was the one who had set the distance, and now it was up to me to bridge the gap.

It was time to face my choices, deal with my feelings for Clara, and most importantly, find a way to reconnect with my family. I knew the road ahead would be long and full of challenges, but I had to try before everything fell apart completely. I couldn’t keep living on the edge of what could have been; I had to take control of what still could be.

I could no longer hide behind the excuse of work. It was time to come home, not just physically but with my whole heart and soul, and fight for my family. I knew the decisions I made from that moment on would shape not only my future but the future of everyone around me. And at that moment, I promised myself that I would do everything to regain what I had lost—and maybe find a better version of myself in the process.


My two half brothers: Uncontrollable Desire
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