Chapter 18: Jay

A million reasons why they shouldn’t go screamed at Jay, but he couldn’t deny her. Well, he could. But…he really couldn’t. Not while she was acting like that and dressed in jeans that sculpted her lower half, a tank-top that didn’t deserve to be labeled clothing, and her new haircut framing her face in the most perfect of ways. She was drunk now; cheeks flushed red because of the alcohol. Her eyes were glassy, highlighting the lovely gray-blue color. And that smile—well, he found that that smile could get the girl whatever the hell she wanted from him.
“You were right, you know,” she slurred. Her breath smelled of tequila and lime as she leaned in to talk to him. “I should have left him before it came to this.”
Addy turned back around to take another shot, making a face as she bit into a lime. She handed Jay his, and he shot it back, grimacing. He’d never been a tequila fan, but any booze right now was better than none. If he were to get through this night still sane in the morning, he’d better be drunk
“He’s a good guy still,” she shouted as if trying to confirm it for herself. Even drunk, he could hear the doubt in her voice—the buried sadness. The bar was loud, music pounding from the speakers above their heads, but he could hear it. “He’s a good guy, but he’s a whore.”
Jay couldn’t help it. He laughed. “Aren’t most men?”
“Yes,” she said. He admired the pink flush in her cheeks when she smiled at him. The glimmer of moisture on her forehead brought out the shine in her skin. Under her eyes, a tiny droplet of sweat sat caught below her lashes. Without thinking twice about it, he reached out and ran his thumb under her eyes, wiping the skin clean. Addy froze in her spot, startled, and drew back.
“Sorry,” he said quickly.
“It’s—it’s okay,” she said. She turned back around and reached for another shot. She picked up two and handed him one. “A toast.”
Jay glanced down at his glass of amber liquid.
“A toast to what?”
“A toast to freedom!” Addy shouted.
Jay frowned, trying to put two and two together. “I’m not sure the situation abides by the toast,” he said, but she only shrugged, ready to take her drink. “You better be careful, or you’ll be tasting all of this coming back up.”
“Nah,” she rolled her eyes and giggled. “I’m kind of an alcoholic. It numbs the pain.”
He watched her lick salt from her forearm and shoot the tequila back. Even in the dim light, he could see the jagged pink scars on her skin—some old, some new. Too new. Suddenly, his good mood was gone. He set the shot glass down on the table, pushing it aside, unable to stomach any more booze.
“We should head back to the room,” he said. “Vegas is probably wondering where we are.”
“Party pooper!” Addy yelled.
She laughed, but Jay was no longer amused.
“Come on, Jay.” She leaned into him, swaying. “You kidnapped me from my town and forced me to drive you across two states. The least you could do is let me enjoy one night.”
She turned away then, spotting the dance floor, and he looked around warily, expecting someone had heard that. No one bothered to look in their direction.
“Seriously, Addy,” he called. “This isn’t a good idea. Let’s go back to the room and put you to bed.”
His desire to protect her, to keep her safe, was overwhelming. It was no longer about his safety and well-being—now he was looking out for her, and she was making it difficult.
“You’re just no fun at all!” Addy called. Ignoring his protests, she kept on walking, stumbling forward. He almost followed her, but he resisted. The last thing they needed was some dramatic scene to draw attention. He held himself back instead, keeping his eyes pinned to her as she made her way onto the dance floor. A younger man with a buzz cut and a bottle of beer in one hand spotted her and took his chance. He rested one hand on Addy’s waist, grinding up on her as she swayed to the music. She had her eyes closed, lost in the moment, and Jay felt his temper flare as he watched the guy’s hand travel down her back. He forced himself to stay calm and tried to resist the urge to give a shit. She was Addy. She was an adult. And besides, she wasn’t his to—
“Let go of me!” Her voice rose above the commotion, and Jay’s eyes narrowed, gaze on the man pressing his body into Addy’s. Addy was struggling to pull away. No longer did she look like she was enjoying herself as the kid groped her, a disgusting grin on his face. Fury boiling in his chest, Jay pushed himself away from the bar counter and forced his way through the tangles of people.
“Hey, dude,” he called. “Fuck off.”
He reached out one hand to offer it to Addy to lead her away, but he was surprised when he was met with a fight.
“Fuck you,” the kid said, and he shoved Jay’s hand away, grabbing Addy for himself as he yanked her to the side. Jay lunged forward, seizing Addy’s assailant by the front of his shirt. The move took the guy by surprise, and he nearly fell as Jay pulled him right off his feet and shoved him hard, watching him collide with a table seating a handful of girls. A couple of the women shrieked, jumping up from their seats as the entire table of drinks toppled over. A few glasses hit the floor, shattering into pieces on the hard surface. Addy was looking on, horrified, but Jay was too riled up to stop now.
“You son of a bitch!” The kid whirled around on Jay, his fist aimed, ready for battle. Jay dodged the first swing, ducking as the kid’s drunken movements flailed around harmlessly. He watched the guy brawl straight into a sitting bar stool, falling to his knees this time as he head-butted the bar.
“Your drunk ass isn’t worth it,” Jay said. He was desperate to show Addy that he wasn’t the asshole she thought he was. He wanted to be the one person in her life that could change her attitude for the better—but beating the shit out of some random guy was the last thing he needed to prove that.
In a flash, the kid got to his feet, running straight for Jay, catching him off guard. This time, Jay felt a shooting pain as the dude’s fist connected with his nose. He rocked back on his heels, shocked, but now even angrier. “You don’t know when to stop, do you?”
“Jay!” Addy shouted somewhere behind him. “Knock it off!”
Now, he wasn’t in such a forgiving mood, and Jay felt a thrill of satisfaction as his fist connected with the pervert’s mouth, making the kid double over in pain. Before he could get another hit, he felt someone grab him from behind, pulling him away.
“It’s not worth it,” Addy said in his ear. Her hands were on his arm, tugging him toward the exit, desperate to get them out of there.
“Hey, man, leaving already?” the kid called, straightening up. “I don’t think I’m done with your whore.”
This time, Addy released his arm and spun around, eyes flaming, and Jay stared in shock. He made a frantic attempt to grab her and pull her back, but he was seconds too late. He looked on in shock as Addy reeled her arm back like a pitcher on a baseball field and then let it snap forward, her fist connecting impressively with the kid’s nose. For being stumbling drunk, her aim was perfect.
Jay watched as the guy crashed backward into another table before hitting the ground with a painful-sounding crunch. Even then, with the kid groaning on the ground, Jay had to make another grab so she wouldn’t go after him again. He caught her wrist, pulling her away from the floor and out the door. He tried to ignore the stares of the crowded bar as they all watched him lead Addy away. She cradled her fist against her chest, silent, as Jay pushed her through the motel room door, knowing they’d made such a scene that they were bound to have been noticed, and paranoia started beating in his chest. Once inside, she spun on him, her eyes becoming level with his as he steadied her. Remnants of fire lingered in her eyes, a woman daring him to try something—anything—just to give her an excuse to punch him out, too.
“I hate people like that,” she said. “I fucking hate them! They’re pigs!”
Silence settled over them, and he watched her close her eyes and take a steadying breath to compose herself. When she opened them again, a little tear appeared, misting her blue-gray color over. He reached up and wiped it away as it slipped down her cheek. She sniffed once, nibbling her bottom lip as he took her injured hand in his and looked it over, hoping she hadn’t broken it.
“You’ll have a bruise,” he said after a moment. “But I don’t think you broke anything.”
“A broken hand would have been worth it,” Addy said, and he knew she wasn’t kidding. This girl wasn’t one to back down from a fight, whatever the consequences might be.
“We should ice it,” Jay said, but by now, Addy’s attention was elsewhere. He watched her put her head in her hands and take a deep breath. She was shaking.
“It helps me,” she said. Her voice broke, and she looked up at him, her misty eyes meeting his. “Cutting. Drinking. It’s always helped me. It’s my—escape.”
“Talk to me, Addy.”
She wiped a tear from her eye and looked down at the floor. “Too many things to count,” she said. Another tear slid down her cheek, and he felt his heart fill with sadness.
“You’re an emotional drunk,” he said, resting his finger on her lips. “You need to relax and take a deep breath.”
He was caught off guard when she grabbed hold of the front of his shirt, pulling him into her. He was about to untangle himself from her grip when she stood up on her tiptoes and put her lips to his. Shock sizzled through him as they touched, and he leaned in, suddenly hungry, his breath catching in his throat.
“No,” Addy said. She put her hands up and pushed him back. “I’m sorry.”
Trying to catch his breath, Jay watched her raise her fingers to her lips, touching them.
“I’m so sorry,” she said again. “I have a fiancé waiting for me at home. Even if he is an asshole, even if he is a cheater, I still—I still have a life. I didn’t mean to—”
“You’re right,” Jay said. “You’re right.” He stepped back from her, feeling his throat tighten. Addy stared at him for a second, and then stepped forward, placing one hand on his bicep.
“Unless…” she murmured, and Jay almost leaned in again to kiss her.
At the last moment, however, he pushed her gently back.
“We can’t do this,” he said. “You’re drunk.”
“So what?” Addy demanded. “This is what I want.” She reached for him again, but Jay caught her arms in his grip and held her.
“Sleep on it.”

Jay woke early the next morning with a splitting headache that seemed to engulf him from the tip of his head to his toes. He sat up, ignoring the gross taste of old booze in his mouth. On the other bed across the room, Addy was still asleep face-down on the mattress. She was snoring softly, and despite himself, Jay smiled.
Pulling on a pair of pants and a shirt, Jay grabbed a room key, some money, and walked across the parking lot to get them breakfast. He got a box of donuts, some chocolate milk, and a few aspirins before walking back to the room to take a shower, nibbling on one of the donuts as he went. He expected Addy to still be asleep when he got back, but he found her filling a glass with water as he let himself back into the room.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, offering her some aspirin. Addy rolled her eyes and gulped some water.
“I’ve been better,” she said. “But I’ve also been worse.”
“I’m going to take a shower,” Jay said. He set the food down on the desk and smiled at her. Addy’s eyes were on his back as Jay headed for the bathroom. He was about to reach for the door handle when she spoke.
“I slept,” she said. He stopped what he was doing and turned to look at her.
“What?”
“I slept,” she said. “You told me to sleep on it, and I did.”
“Addy—” he started, but she had already crossed the room, closing the distance between them.
“I slept,” she said again. “That’s all you asked of me.”
“I don’t think—”
She smelled so sweet, a concoction of sugar and mint as he lowered his lips to hers. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she embraced him, closing her eyes, a sigh escaping her lips. Jay allowed his fingers to trail down her neck, and then her shoulders. The tank top she wore was thin and flimsy. For a moment, he wondered if he was getting ahead of himself, and he almost stepped back. But then he saw Addy take half a step back and raise her arms in the air. He met her eyes, and she smiled at him. All at once, a thousand unfamiliar emotions rose in Jay’s body. He reached out, fingers grabbing desperately for the bottom of her shirt as he pulled it up and over her head, exposing a black lacy bra.
Jay was twenty-nine years old. He was well into adulthood, but with the way Adaline Connor’s skin met his own with a warm, tingling sensation, he realized at that moment that no woman he’d ever been with made him want her as Addy did. Her skin, her breath, and the softness of her lips—it was nothing like he had ever experienced. She groaned quietly as he grasped the bottom of her tank top and lifted it above her head. He pulled it off and tossed it aside, exposing a pair of plump, perky breasts hidden shyly by a black lace bra. He pulled her into him, closer now, and rested one hand on her covered nipple. Addy moaned, and a fire ignited in him. He needed her. He needed her now.
Reaching for the button on her jeans, Jay pushed her back against the wall, and his free hand reached up to embrace her neck. For a fleeting moment, he thought he saw a flicker of fear in her eyes, but it was gone before he was certain, and before he could back away, she had her hand on the bulge through his jeans. The touch of her fingers sent a shock through his body, and his hips moved toward her instinctively. He felt weak and empowered all at once. She met his gaze again, and there was a glint in her eyes. Mischievous—innocent—irresistible.
“Do you know what you do to me?” Jay whispered in her ear. He was breathless. They both were. His skin was on fire, and he wondered briefly if he could make it through this without losing it. Reaching for her jeans, he undid the button and slid them off, allowing Addy to step out of them as he admired her curvy, seductive body. The fire in him grew as he skimmed his eyes over her milky white skin, freckled shoulders, toned legs. Her panties, amazingly, matched her bra, but he now hoped to rip them both off her.
What compelled him even more about Addy standing naked in front of him was her shining innocence. She had the confidence to flaunt her stuff, but he could see past that fake bravado, and a few times he noticed her reach to cover herself. The second time she did, he caught her hand, and the color rose to her cheeks. He stared at her hungrily, his body humming with anticipation. He pulled her into him, away from the wall, meeting her lips once more. This time, she greeted him with parting lips, and he felt a thrill of excitement as her tongue searched for his. He caught her lower lip with the front of his teeth, teasing her, and when he reached his hand down past her belly button, her black-lace panties were wet. He slid his pants off, cradling her head as he teased her tongue and lips. He maneuvered her around, toward the bed, and in one quick motion he had her down, back resting on the comforter.
“Vegas!” Jay hissed through his teeth, trying not to laugh and kill the mood. “Move, please.”
Looking scorned, the yellow dog hopped off the bed and retreated to a far corner of the room to resume his nap. Addy giggled. Jay stood over her for a moment, admiring the way her chest rose with every breath she took. Her skin flushed with pink, and her breasts were still covered, which only added to his excitement. She was beautiful—stunning. Even with the scars, even with all those demons, both physical and emotional, he had never seen such a gorgeous woman.
As he watched her, he let his boxers drop to the floor, and he saw uncertainty flicker across her features. He paused, staying where he was, not wanting to overwhelm or frighten her. When she finally nodded her head, just a little bit, he knelt on the bed, taking her hand in his own as he slid up to meet her lips once again. She parted for him, both her lips and her thighs, but he could feel her hesitation. The suspense was killing him, but her expression made him hold back. He reached out and brushed a strand of loose hair back from her forehead, gazing into her eyes.
“What is it?” he whispered. Addy closed her eyes briefly, and when she opened them again, he could have sworn she was staring right through him.
“Don’t hurt me,” she whispered. “Be gentle. I—”
She trailed off, and like a kick in the groin, every hesitation he’d had only sharpened. Jay felt his body tense, and he allowed his hand to drop from her cheek.
“Are you a virgin?”
“No,” she said quickly. “Nothing like that. I just—Ryan is rough. I don’t…” her voice trailed off, and Jay rested the knuckle of his finger against her cheek.
“We can stop,” he said.
“No,” Addy said. “I want this.” She hesitated. “I want this with you.”
So many emotions bombarded him at once, and Jay almost stood up. He was seconds from pulling away when he saw her hand snake down her chest, past her belly button, and under her panties. He watched, mesmerized, as she taunted him. Her eyes never left his face. The passion in Jay blazed again, and he wanted her so badly he could hardly stand it. Keeping his eyes on her face for any sign of apprehension, he lowered himself back onto her, slipped one hand under her bra, and slid off her panties with the other, and then he met her lips.
“I won’t hurt you,” he breathed. “I will never, ever hurt you, Addy.”