CH 39

The last of the chores were done with little more than shared looks and the occasional word about feed or water buckets. The silence between them, once heavy and uncertain, had begun to soften into something more bearable—still tense, still complicated, but no longer suffocating.
Renee watched as Jake latched the last stall gate, his hands steady, his posture relaxed but aware. There was a quiet gratitude in how he moved—like he knew he didn’t belong here, but was grateful she hadn’t sent him away. Their eyes met a few times—brief glances held just a second longer than necessary. Not like the night before. Not like the kiss. These were different. Almost peaceful. Tired. Real.
Renee rubbed her arms beneath the sleeves of the flannel he’d brought her. The morning air had warmed, but the weight of everything she felt still lingered in her chest, pressing down like unshed rain.

She took a breath. Then another. And then she walked toward him without a word.
Jake turned just as she reached him, and for a moment he looked surprised—until she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face against his chest.
He didn’t speak. He didn’t ask why. He just held her.
And in that quiet embrace, beneath the dusty beams of the barn and the soft rustle of waking animals, Renee let herself rest—not in answers, not in clarity, but in the simple comfort of being known.
Renee stayed in his arms longer than she should have, letting the silence settle around them like dust. But when she finally pulled back, her gaze didn’t waver. There was too much unsaid still sitting between them.

“Why did you leave?” she asked, her voice quiet but firm. “You ignored me, Jake. For months. I get that work is… everything for you, that being some big-shot lawyer probably means constant pressure. But why didn’t you just call? Or text? Anything?”
Jake’s expression shifted. His brows drew together like the answer had been waiting on the tip of his tongue, but he didn’t know how to soften it.
“I didn’t ignore you because I didn’t care,” he said slowly. “I ignored you because I cared too much. And because… I was making plans.” Her breath hitched. “Plans?”

He nodded, looking down at his hands for a moment before he met her eyes again. “I was selling my half of the office. Quietly. I didn’t tell anyone. I was gonna move back here—for good. I even had a place lined up, and I was looking at rings.” Renee blinked, stunned. “Rings?”
Jake nodded again, swallowing hard. “I didn’t want to just come back and pick up where we left off. I wanted to do it right this time. I wanted to build something real with you.”
Her heart thundered. “Then why didn’t you?” He hesitated, then dropped his gaze again. “Because I messed up. Before I brought you Leo’s will… I was seeing someone.”
Renee’s stomach twisted.
“I didn’t think it was serious,” he continued quickly. “It had only been a couple of months. But the moment I saw you again... everything changed. I broke it off with her right after that night. Because it wasn’t fair. Not to her. Not to you. I knew who I wanted.” He paused, the guilt rising in his voice. “But when I went back to close out everything and finish the sale... it hit me how much I’d hurt both of you. And I started to wonder if I even deserved to come back. So I didn’t.”
Renee stood frozen, the weight of his confession folding over her like a tidal wave. All this time… he’d been preparing for a future with her. And then he vanished. Because of her. Because of love. And maybe… fear.
Renee felt like the air had been sucked out of the barn. Her chest ached, her hands balled into fists at her sides. She took a shaky breath, then looked him dead in the eyes, her voice trembling but clear.

“You don’t get to come back now with that story and expect me to be okay with how you left,” she said. “You were planning a future with me, Jake? Then why the hell didn’t you just tell me?” He opened his mouth, but she wasn’t done. “I called you. I texted. I blew your phone up, Jake. Begging for something—anything. You don’t know what that felt like. Every night, wondering if you’d gotten in an accident, or just decided I wasn’t worth the trouble. You made me feel abandoned without ever saying the words.”
Jake flinched like her words physically struck him, and she took a step closer.
“All you had to do was talk to me. Not disappear. Not leave me hanging like some one-night mistake.”
“I never—” Jake started, his voice hoarse.
“I know,” she cut in, softer now. “I know you didn’t mean to. But you did.”
The silence between them thickened, full of regret and the ghost of something beautiful that never got its ending.

“I held on for a long time,” she continued, voice cracking. “To you. To us. And when I finally gave up, when I stopped waiting for a text or a knock at the door... that’s when I met Mike.” Jake’s jaw clenched, but he didn’t look away. “It wasn’t easy,” she whispered. “Choosing to forget you. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. I forced myself to let go of everything we could’ve been. I hated you for making me do that.” She stepped closer again, and when she reached him, her hand rose and smacked him hard on the arm. He blinked, startled. “Ow.”
“You deserved that.”
“Yeah,” he muttered, rubbing the spot.
Then, without another word, she grabbed his shirt, tugged him down, and kissed him. It wasn’t gentle.
It wasn’t polite. It was furious and aching and full of everything she hadn’t said in the months he was gone—every tear, every unanswered call, every whispered I miss you that never made it past her lips.
He didn’t hesitate. His arms circled her, one hand sliding into her hair, the other gripping her waist like he didn’t dare let go.

And when they finally pulled apart, breathless, their foreheads pressed together, Renee closed her eyes and whispered, “God, I hate that I still want to kiss you.” Jake chuckled softly, the sound thick with emotion. “Then do it again.” But she didn’t. Not yet. Instead, she stepped back, chest heaving, the warmth of his touch still on her lips. Because she had kissed the man she once almost fell deeply in love with—and now, her heart was caught between what was, what is, and what still might be.
And there was no going back. Jake tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, his touch lingering. “I have to go,” he murmured, eyes searching hers. “But if you’ll let me… I’ll come back tonight. I promise.”
Before she could answer, he leaned in and kissed her—slow, aching, like he didn’t want to let go.
Then he turned and walked away, leaving her in the quiet barn, heart pounding, wondering what she’d say when he returned.