34. LOVE YOUR FRIENDS, FUCK YOUR ENEMIES.
She let the sin-stained towel that bore his seeds fall to the ground and Damien looked to her. "Hey" He whispered back, his voice husky from how deep and painfully he growled. The beds creaked to their slow movements now as she now rested atop him.
"That was— That was something" She stuttered, holding around his waist because for the first time, he didn't suddenly leave. He stayed there, his heartbeat connecting with hers as their sweaty skins met.
"So what really happened?" Amelia mustered the courage to ask, sort of entitled to at least know what warranted his visit and his eyes went dark on her, heaving a deep breath. He then stood from her to sit at the edge of the bed and she raised her head.
"You come to me looking me in my eyes, telling me i'm obsessed and that i should give you up" She raised her voice, holding the cold duvet over her bosoms to shield her nakedness as if he didn't just fuck the living daylight out of her. And she scoffed—for the second time they both did. "And then you show up to my hotel room to fuck me. See, Damien—" She paused.
"I don't have a problem with you using me, but at least don't lie to me face each time we s—"
"Using you?" He echoed, a crack in his voice. And Amelia let her shoulders fall. "Can we not argue about this because the last thing I want to do right now is argue after you've give me what no one has ever given me" She replied him. "We use each other"
"That's what we do"
"And we help each other, Damien. We're also terrible for each other and that was the only right thing that you've said" She scoffed. "You fuck me like no one has, and i like that. I like how i feel around you but then there's also Olivia. And there's this dark aura you carry around you. This energy i can't put a finger on. And i don't think anyone can. You may not see it, Damien but you're a very terrible person" She continued.
"You want to call me out after sex?" He looked to her and he scoffed. "I think i'm the only one that can" She replied. "So tell me what did you screw up this time that you came banging on my door?" Her voice quivered the candle next to them and he just scoffed in reply. "Everyone always assumes i'm the bad person, the person at fault" He had a pillow across his thighs which she held to his skin. "Can you blame them?" She asked.
And he didn't utter a word.
"You're going to go back and act like none of this happened to Olivia" His patience grew thin at that name and he clenched his palm. "Olivia and I are nothing. We're not what you think. We're not what anyone thinks" He was careful with his words, because quite frankly there was no way Amelia would out him after tonight and she brought her back to rest against the walls.
"I know" She whispered.
"But then again, it might be one sided. I see the way you look at her, and also the way she looks at you" "She's done with me" He was also right about that, and she could the bitterness from his eyes. "So all of this was definitely not about Olivia?" She whispered, sarcasm buried in the tone of her voice.
"Definitely not that you want to get over her so you get under me" Amelia scoffed, pulling hair over her face and Damien looked to her. "My mother kissed Raznak. I saw them, i saw her kiss another man that wasn't my father and i can't tell why that is such a bad thing but i felt something shift within me. I felt some thing just shift" His eyes turned glassy and Amelia looked at him.
Maintaining the distance between them, her eyes stung with tears as well and he pushed a lump down his throat. " You were the first person that I came to. You're always the first person i run to because you make me feel better, Amelia. You are no words and i don't want words. I don't want to talk, i never want to talk about my emotions and feelings and all of that cringe ass stuff" He raised his voice. "You're easy and you're comfort Amelia—"
She stretched out her hands.
"It's fun until one of us falls in love" She sniffled. "This isn't high school anymore Damien and you can't just expect me to show up, to be reduced to being easy and only your comfort. I'm thirty as well and at some point, i'm going to want something serious" She gulped a lump down her throat. "I'm not sure i can give you that"
"I know" She interrupted. "I know, Archer."
"So maybe i should give you up. We're terrible for each other and you know that. Then why do you keep coming back, why do you keep coming back to me when you have Olivia?" She asked. "She is everything, she is beautiful and smart and she's your future. No matter whatever plan you have beneath, fuck that plan because i have seen the way you look at each other. The photos and that is nothing fake, there is nothing pretend about that gaze. That light in your eyes and trust that i'm the best person to tell that, Damien because i have been with you since we were kids, and you have never looked at me that way. Not for once" She continued.
"For once do the right thing"
His heart sank looking at Amelia and she got up. "What should i do, i mean after tonight—" He paused. "This is your mess to clean up. Whether or not you decide to come clean, it is up to you. But whatever happens, i'm not going to be here. I'm not going to be your easy comfort anymore Damien. This was goodbye because we're grown now" There was a crack in her voice and he looked to her. "We don't need each other anymore"
"What are you saying?" He stood as well, but on the opposite side of the bed and their eyes met. "Break the cycle, man. I'm saying we break the cycle. This endless, toxic cycle we call a bond and maybe then you'd see i'm not obsessed" She had a smirk in her lips as he sniffed through his nose. "Or else—"
"Or else what?" He echoed and she turned away. "Or else you're going to lose a good thing because you're holding unto the past. And the same goes for me, as well" She added. His shoulders fell alongside his arms and his lips parted to speak.
"So what happens now?"
"Now, you leave." She replied. "Like you always have, you leave, except there's no coming back this time" She pushed a hard lump down her throat as she wiped her eyes off the tears. And she waved in his face, drifting him back to consciousness.
"Damien" She pointed to the door, and his eyes went up to hers. "Leave" She whispered. "I dont want you seeing me crying" She added softly as he slipped his legs into his trousers, grabbing his clothes in his hands. And he pushed down the tears that suffixed in his eyes as she turned around, still holding the duvet around her bare chest. "Don't make me chase you" She chuckled.
"I—"
"I lo—" She cleared her throat. "No you don't. Don't complete that, please. You love what i do for you, easy right?" She echoed his words back at him. "Comfort?" And she shook his head.
"No, i mean it. I do love you."
"Not everything has to be romantic, i mean we could platonic soulmates" He teased, something she always said and she laughed briefly. "Oh no, we hate each other way to much to be that" And he shrugged his shoulders, picturing Olivia in his mind as he drew closer to the door. "Love your enemies" He whispered.
"They tell you your faults" And Amelia's hands went through her hair as he prepared to walk back out the door he came in. "They bring out the best in you." And she could tell it wasn't her that was meant to hear these words.
However, the other person had her shoes in the sands, pointing across from her at the man that had just kissed her— Luke. And she pushed a lump down her throat. "What did you just do!" She asked, terror shielding the snarky emotion she had in her eyes.
This was about to complicate everything.
To be continued...