DRUNK

It was getting darker, but Eros was not bothered about going home. He sat in the lounge of one of his hostels drinking glass upon glass of alcohol, hoping no one finds him. Javier had called him severally, but he had refused to answer, all he wanted was to be alone. He didn't know why he felt this way and tried to convince himself that it was because of the memory that the therapy session he had earlier sprouted, but deep down in his most secret heart, he knew it was something that Cassandra said to him.

Why was he letting it get to him? Why was he letting her mess around with his head? Was he angry? Was he sad? He couldn't differentiate what he was feeling right there. It was a feeling of frustration, a feeling of helplessness. What was he going to do to make her stop talking to him that way? Violence never solved the problem. His phone vibrated again, he stared at it, Javier flashed on the screen, and he ignored it.

He planned to drink until he stopped thinking of the different ways Cassandra was affecting him. He was tipsy already, but he wanted to drink until he was dead to the world.

"How long will you keep ignoring my calls?"

Eros was startled by the sudden voice. He looked up and saw Javier standing in front of him with his phone still in his ear. He sighed and downed another glass of alcohol. Javier shoved his phone into his pocket and walked up to Eros. Eros ignored him and poured another drink into his glass. Javier studied him for a while, allowing him to down his drink before he spoke.

"What is wrong with you?" Eros shook his head without saying anything. "Why are you getting drunk and refusing to come home?"

Eros looked at him and chuckled. "Home?"

"Yes, home."

"Hey, remind me to fasten you to an X-cross and flog you mercilessly later for pulling that stunt on me?"

"Is that why you are getting drunk? She told me that you weren't ready to cooperate yet."

"She called me the scum of the earth," Eros said, dropping the glass with so much force that Javier thought it would break.

"Who? The therapist?" Eros gave him a disgusted stare. "Oh, you mean, dama of the house?"

"She is no fucking dama of the house," Eros growled. "I am the only master of the house."

"Why are you scared to go home then?"

Eros was quiet for a while, looking uncertain about what to say. "Because...because...I... can't..." He downed another glass. "She said she hates me, and I make her beautiful life ugly and dark and bitter." His voice was slurred now.

"This is not the first time you have been called a monster, or a bad person, or the likes of it, why are you worked up about this?"

"Because it hit differently when she said it!" he yelled then lowered his voice again. "It's different when she says it and I don't know why?"

"Have you considered setting her free? Letting her go?"

Eros looked at Javier and shook his head. "I can't. I am selfish like that." He chuckled. "I don't want to stop seeing her." He poured himself another drink.

"Do you think you have fallen in love with her?"

Eros sipped his drink and shook his head. "No. Love is for the weak."

"So, you are sure this is not love?"

Eros was quiet for a moment, then he hiked his shoulders. "No, it's not love. But I think I care about her."

"You think?"

"Yes, Javier, I don't know what this is. It's frustrating me, alright. It makes me want to strangle and hug her at the same time, it makes me nervous, and it makes me want to send her away, yet makes me want to see her. My mind keeps wandering to her, even when I am doing something else. I have never thought constantly about anyone before, it's strange."

"You are whipped," Javier muttered and grabbed the bottle.

"Pardon?"

"I mean you are in love." He drank from the bottle.

"I can never surrender to a woman. Not me, Eros Castillo, never." Javier smiled and nodded his head. Eros glared at him. "I am not in love, Javier. Look, I am not a man of love, and you know that. You of all people know I can never trust a woman."

"Women did nothing wrong to you. One woman did something to you, every woman shouldn't be held responsible."

"But that's how they all are. Javier. I am not in love."

"You said that already," Javier said, chewing the inner of his cheek to suppress his smile. "But honestly, Eros, you don't expect someone to forgive you when you haven't even apologized to them.

Eros dropped his glass on the table and stared quizzically at Javier. "What is this about?"

"You hurt Cassandra really bad, you know. You took her away from the only family she knew, she was probably still mourning her mom when you took her away, you took her away from her fiancé in the marine, you locked her up and starved her for several days, dude, you beat her up once and you even shot her. You were so brutal and that is who she sees you as. You don't expect her to see you in a good light, she might never forgive you, and she is really hurt. So, I agree with you, you are one selfish bastard."

Eros looked like he just learned something new. "You think I am horrible too?"

Javier shook his head. "I don't think so, because I know who you are, Eros. I know that you are in there somewhere, locked up, begging to be released, I think the only way you can do that is by getting help. Let me help you, let Joan Peterson help you, and most of all, let Cassandra help you if she is willing to."

Eros stared dumbfoundedly at his friend; his brows creased into a confused frown as if he just discovered the answer to a puzzle he has been trying to solve.

~~~

It has been two days and Cassandra didn't see Eros around the house. He was nowhere around the house, and he didn't come into the room, or maybe he only comes in when she was fast asleep, but she doubted that. Grandma Adella was back, and she was thrilled by the older woman's arrival, Grandma Adella was even more thrilled when she told her that she was staying in Eros' room.

"I knew it!" the woman had screamed.

Cassandra saw hope in her eyes, and it scared her because she didn't want to make them all unhappy. Apollo must have thought this was a good idea, but it was taking its toll on her. Javier and Grandma Adella were somehow hopeful about her, and Eros and it left her wondering what Dimitra has been doing there all this while. Grandma Adella told her that Eros has never taken a woman into his room, talk much of letting them move in. They were all hopeful that she was going to heal him.

She could play her games and leave, but what was it going to do to these beautiful people she was going to hurt? How will he end up after she left? She talked to Apollo about it, and he got pissed, saying she was not doing her job well. He urged her to apologize to him when he gets back and never to allow her emotions becloud her judgment.

Now, she was pacing up and down Eros' room, thinking of how she would approach him. Grandma Adella also got worried about Eros' absence yesterday, but looked calmer today, as if she has been assured of his safety, but she wouldn't tell her anything. She was getting genuinely worried and wondered how deep the words she said to him were.

The door burst open, startling her and she spun to see Javier leading a very drunk and bruised Eros inside the room. He had a cut on his lower lip, a bruise on his jawline, a cut on his temple, and a fine shiner under his left eye. Javier led him into the room, and he smiled when he saw Cassandra.

"Dama of the house," Eros mumbled, a drunk smile plastered on his face, he swayed his body and made Javier stagger with him.

"What happened?" Cassandra asked moving towards them.

"Well, he got drunk and got into a fight with some dudes, they beat the hell out of him, but he will survive."

As if to confirm Javier's story, Eros grinned and exposed his bloody teeth. Cassandra went and helped Javier bring him to bed. They sat him down while he kept saying unreasonable things.

"I'm sorry for inconveniencing you like this, you can go over to Grandma Adella's, I will take care of him."

"I will help. I learned a thing or two while staying by my mother's sick bed, I will care for him."

"Please, don't go," Eros whimpered and fell on the bed.

Javier and Cassandra stared at each other. "Are you sure you want to take care of him?" Javier asked.

Cassandra nodded. If she wanted to do this, she should start being more available. "I will take care of him, don't worry about it."

"I will have someone send the first aid box up, they are just minor injuries," Javier said as he headed toward the door.

When he was out of the room and Cassandra was left alone with Eros. She became nervous as she stood in front of him wondering how drunk he was. Should she apologize to him now or not?

"I will go get a bowl of water," she said and hurried to the bathroom. When she returned, Eros was sprawled on the bed, snoring already. She set the bowl of water and the towel in it on the nightstand and sat down beside him. She studied his face as he slept, his features were carved in a boyish innocence, his full lips slightly parted.

She reached for his face and stroked his cheek, letting her eyes trail to his slightly parted lips and linger on them. Distracting herself from the line her thoughts were running towards, she started to unbutton his shirt, her fingers quivering and her heart racing as his skin came into view. He had some bruises on his stomach and she traced her fingers along the dark tattoos stretched over his skin, along the intricate lines that almost covered the entirety of his chest. She ran her hand over his firm chest and arms before she snapped back.

What was she doing? She was supposed to clean him up not caress him. He stirred and mumbled some inaudible things. She couldn't get his shirt off of him, because she couldn't lift him, so she turned to get the towel in the bowl and clean what she could. When she turned, Eros was staring at her, she almost jumped out of the bed in shock.

"I am not the scum of the earth," he said slowly.

"I know. I only said that out of anger." Her heart was hammering in her chest now. She stood as Eros tried to sit up. "Er...you need to take off these clothes, they reek of alcohol..."

Before she could finish her sentence, Eros was up from the bed, bolting past her to the bathroom and in no time, she heard him throwing up. She sat down on the couch and waited, pondering whether or not to go in there. What if he was naked? She has seen him naked before, but she didn't trust herself about what would follow if she saw him naked again. She waited until he turned the shower on. After a while, it went off and she heard a yelp from him. She bolted up from her chair and rushed into the bathroom to see Eros seated on the floor, leaning against the bathtub.

"Are you alright?" Cassandra asked in exasperation.

Eros didn't say a word, he just sat there, gazing at the wall in front of him. Cassandra took a washcloth and soaked it with water before she squatted beside him. "I will just help you clean up. Why did they beat you up like this anyway?"

Eros groaned as she placed the wet washcloth on his temple to wipe off the blood there. She ignored him, cupped his chin with her palm, and turned his head to face her, she focused on his lips and wiped gently on the cut and the clothed blood. When she looked up, his eyes were on her, focused on her. Their eyes locked for a while and his face started coming closer to hers. She couldn't even tear away nor look away; she was held spellbound until their faces were inches apart.

Her heart was racing now. Eros was going to kiss her, and she was going to let him. Her brain told her to tear away and leave immediately, but something held her there. For some weird reason, she wanted to feel the taste of his lips on hers. But just when their lips were inches apart, common sense set in. She blinked and turned away. As she made to stand up, he grabbed her wrist and dragged her down to sit between her legs, circling his arms around her immediately.

"Stay with me for tonight, please," he pleaded in a voice that she couldn't bring herself to refuse.