Chapter 48: I Know What I Want

By Sunday late afternoon Laura was definitely on the mend thanks to the cooperation, companionship, and care from the three guys. She was no longer frightened and spent time talking, playing card games, and watching movies with the guys.

They were all glad that she was stronger and getting back to her old self again. Then she did it. Thinking that their TLC was progress in her relationship with each of them, she addressed the big pink elephant in the room.

“Hasn’t this been nice, just the four of us? I realize even more than before that I love all three of you. You saved my life. Together we are strong and can accomplish anything that life throws our way; alone we are weak and can do nothing. Right?” Laura said, addressing all three of her billionaire boyfriends.

“No, Laura. It was an emergency and we came together to be at your side. You were in danger,” Alex explained.

“Each of us had wanted to come over separately after receiving your letter to speak privately with you about this,” Ricky continued, “It was sheer luck that we were around when Luke showed up and acted up.”

“The danger with Luke and Caitlin put us in crisis defense mode. No matter how badly you hurt us, we just can’t stop loving you and let you be physically hurt by your ex-boyfriend. Now that it’s over...,” Don said.

“Now that it’s over, you are free to choose, right here and right now, one of us to be your boyfriend. If you cannot or do not choose, we will always have a place for you in our hearts but we won’t go on sharing. It’s not fair to us.” Ricky concluded.

Laura sat down on the sofa, feeling her heart thumping loudly and hard. She breathed in and out deeply several times to calm herself. “What if I told you that I will love all three of you and you three only with all of my heart and devotion? What if I told you that together we four could be in relationship together?”

“No sale,” Alex replied.

“We now see why you must be reluctant to be in a committed relationship with one man only after meeting Luke, but not choosing one of the three of us is not the answer,” Ricky stated firmly.

“It’s not fair to us,” Don reiterated.

“Guys, come on. Surely we can work something out,” Laura pleaded.

“No! Choose,” the guys all shouted in unison.

“I can’t. I won’t. I know what I want and I want all three of you. Please don’t make me choose,” she tried to explain.

“Ok, then, I guess this is goodbye,” Don said, kissing her on each cheek. Then the others followed suit.

Before they left she invited them to her big concert that would be live streamed around the world. None of them responded whether or not they would attend, but they were clear that a shared relationship was not what they wanted, no matter how much they loved and cared for her.

She had lost five significant relationships in 72 hours. She noted how empty the loft felt without the positive energy that the three guys brought whenever all three of them were present. She turned to playing her music into the late evening, pouring every disappointment and loss into it. If this kind of daily emotional roller coaster is what she had to look forward to without Luke, Caitlin, Alex, Don, and Ricky in her inner circle, she would either become the greatest cellist of all time or run out of tears.

This was worse than thinking that she was over them. Spending this weekend with them fawning over her as she bounced back, gave her hope that at last she could have all three in harmony. She believed that the past was forgiven and the four of them would move forward.

The finality of each one demanding an answer in front of the others and refusing to share her had a profound sorrow to it. The hope was definitely gone. No forgiveness letters, no texts, no calls, no more weekend platonic slumber parties. There wasn’t enough chamber music in the world to bear her heart’s pain.

She needed to work this out before it destroyed her inside. “I’m stronger than this. I hardly knew the three and Luke and Caitlin turned out not to be anything more than frenemies. If they want it to be over and done with, then that’s their right, but I wish I could get them to see things from my perspective. Love does not have a single arrow, but it can leave behind many broken hearts.”

She thought about the last sentence she had stated as self-talk. “Love does not have a single arrow, but it can leave behind many broken hearts.” She usually did not write lyrics to her music. She wrote for a string quartet, not the opera, but there was something to it that was poetic.

She stayed up all night penning heartfelt words about her experience not to be sung, but to be spoken word poetry as the string quartet played. She decided that she would ask her music students to participate in her concert as the speakers of these words. She was exploring something artistically new on all fronts. She’d call the piece “Three Gentlemen’s Gift” and dedicate it to the guys, present or not, for all the world to hear.