CONSENSUAL

When midnight passed and Sarah didn’t call him,Drake started to get concerned. Surely they weren’t out to dinner this late, were they?
When one A.M. slid into two in the morning, Drake decided to go to Sarah’s room and talk to her. If she was hurting, he wanted to try to fix it. He knocked on her door, but there was no answer. He texted her. Still no answer. He waited outside of her room for ten minutes, impatient, and then when no one came by, he slipped a credit card into the lock and jimmied it. If she was in her room and ignoring him, the latch would be flipped and he wouldn’t be able to get in.
But a moment later, he was able to get in, and the door swung open. The room was empty. Sarah wasn’t in.
Where the hell was she?
A twinge of worry cut through him, and he shut the door quickly again, then headed to the elevator.
She wasn’t in the lobby. He searched the gardens, and she wasn’t there, either. The restaurant was closed due to the late hour, and the bar was empty of all but a few booze hounds. He didn’t really think she’d be there—after that one bad evening, she hadn’t drunk a drop.
There was only one place left to check.
Drake headed out to the beach, took off his leather Bettanin & Venturi wingtip shoes, and began to walk the shoreline, looking for a huddled figure and blonde hair.
Sure enough, at the far end of the beach, almost a mile away from the resort, he saw a lonely woman walking the waves and staring out into the distance. From where he stood, she looked fragile and sad, not the strong, smiling Sarah he was used to.
And he knew in his gut that he’d hurt her tonight. That thought weighed on him like a stone around his neck. His sweet, sensitive Sarah had been wounded by his callousness. God, he was such a dick.
He walked up to her and waded out ankle high to where she was standing. She didn’t speak, so he looked out on the horizon with her, trying to see what she was regarding. After a moment, he teased, “I hope you didn’t lose your top again. If it’s out that far, we might never find it.”
She didn’t laugh. She just looked over at him with sad eyes. “Why are you here, Drake ?”
He tossed his shoes down on the sand behind him and shoved his hands in his pockets, like a guilty kid. “I came out here because I was worried about you.”
“Really? You didn’t seem all that worried earlier tonight when you blew me off.”
“Something came up.”
Sarah gave him a look that told him she knew he was lying.
“I swear, I never meant to hurt your feelings, Sarah.”
“Then why did you?” She crossed her arms and finally looked over at him, and he realized she was still in her dress from earlier that evening, all short -legged and beautiful. Her shoes were nowhere to be found, her feet bare as the water rushed over them. “Why was it that after spending all day telling me you couldn’t wait to see me, you suddenly had some ‘issue’ that came up and made you cancel on me? In front of ....?” she stopped and look at him almost in tears
“Oh, is that what the surprise was?” He asked, feigning a grimace. “Man, I’m sorry.”
“You’re not sorry!” She glared at him and then looked away quickly, dashing her hand to the corner of one eye in a movement that made his heart squeeze. “I mean, if it was something I did, at least have the guts to tell me—”
“Something you did? What do you mean?” When she didn’t look at him, Drake ke moved in front of her and held her by the arms, trying to get her to look at him. She avoided his gaze. “Sarah, what do you mean, something you did?”
She swallowed hard, her throat working, and kept her head ducked. “It’s just . . . last night was wonderful and I thought we were something again  . . for a lot of reason I think you still want Lilian and I am just getting in your way . And I thought it was great if you tell me how you truly feel about me, But then today, you avoided me, and I couldn’t help wondering if it was something I did or didn’t do—”
“What? No, no, no. Not at all.” His hands rubbed her arms and he tried to draw her against him but she pulled away stiffly. “Sarah, I don’t even know how you can think that. You were fucking amazing in every way .”
“But not so amazing that you wanted to see me today?”
“I’m here, aren’t I? I came out looking for you. And to me, you were so goddamn amazing that I wanted you to sleep next to me all night last night. I didn’t want you to leave. Do you know how rare that is for me?”
“No,” she answered honestly, and he was dumbstruck again. Of course she didn’t know. He hid so much shit from her that she’d be appalled if she ever found out who he really was.
Well, fuck. “Something . . . something just came up,” he said lamely.
This time she looked at him. “Just stop it, Drake , okay? I know you are still in love with Lilian ”
“All right. I’m fucking lying. Nothing came up. I just freaked out tonight, but it had nothing to do with you or Lilian and everything to do with me, all right? I’m a selfish fucker and I shouldn’t have blown you off. I didn’t want to, and I know you don’t believe that, but it’s the truth.” He grabbed her hand and pressed both of his around hers and held it against his chest. “The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. I know you don’t believe me, but I swear to God and Jesus and Buddha that it’s the truth. You’re the first person that has been genuinely happy to know me in fucking years, and you have no idea how good that feels and how scared I am of fucking that up, I am sorry it took me this long to realize how wonderful you are Sarah.”
“How can I believe you?” she asked in a soft voice.
“Ask me for something,” he said quickly. “Tell me what to do to make it up to you, and I will.”
“There a publicity dinner tomorrow night,” she told him. “ Brown ’s my date, but—”
“Wait,” he said, a surge of jealousy roaring through him. “Who the fuck is Brown ?”
Her mouth curled in a reluctant smile. “I know he is your friend but he wants me to join a group of influential friends for dinner. I really hope you do not mind , it hasn’t been long since we started spending time together.”
“Oh.” His heart slowed down a little. Just a little.
“But I want you to be my date instead,” she told him. “I’d love if you went to the publicity dinner with me.”
Ah, fuck. The moment he showed up, Brown Brooke would lose his shit, and Drake ’s presence would ruin things for everyone involved. “I . . . can’t.”
She tried to pull her hand from his grip, flinching backward.
“Sarah I can explain ,” he began.
“Let me go.” He could hear the tears in her voice.
“It’s not what you think—”
“I think you’re ashamed to be seen with me, I am not asking for too much Drake, I just want you to love me , I am not asking for marriage this time around ”Sarah told him, her voice thick. “That’s what I think. That it’s perfectly okay to date Big Bird when no one sees you with her, right? But the moment someone will, all bets are off.”
“That’s not it at all.”
“No?” She tried to yank her hand out of his again.
“No. I’m not ashamed of you at all. I don’t know why you would think that—”
“Because I’m a nobody Drake. And because no one has even given me the time of day before I met you. So how am I supposed to think that two years years of nothing is somehow magically changed after some weeks of your attention?”
“You’re also gorgeous as fuck and my dick gets hard every time I look at you,” he told her. “Don’t believe me? I’m hard for you right now because you’re so fucking beautiful.”
To his surprise, she reached down and grabbed his junk. She looked a little startled to see that he was, indeed, sporting wood. Then she quickly snatched her hand away again. “That could be anything. You could get hard for any woman you saw here.”
“That’s not true. I’ve seen lots of women here and you’re the only one I’m interested in. I haven’t dated anyone seriously in two years—maybe longer—because when they open their mouths, they no longer interest me.I just wanted Lilian because she comforted me when you left .But you? You eat up my thoughts all day long. You make me wonder what you’re thinking even when you’re not around me. I’m fucking crazy about you, Sarah.”
“Then go to the publicity dinner with me,” she said in a soft voice.
Fuck. He was cornered, wasn’t he? There was no escaping this trap. “Will nothing else make you happy?”
“No Drake ,” she said, and her voice was stubborn. “That’s what I want. I want us to go to the publicity dinner together.”
“Then I’ll go.” And put the final nail in his coffin. “For you. If that’s what you want.”
“It is,” she said, and a hesitant smile returned to her mouth. “Is it truly so terrible to go out with me, Drake ?”
“It’s not terrible at all.” He pulled her against him, and this time she yielded, putting her arms around his neck so that her body pressed against his. “Like I said, I’m utterly fucking crazy for you, Sarah. I haven’t felt this way about a woman, ever. It’s probably insane to be thinking about love and relationships after a week of spending time together, but the thought of you leaving me in a few days is like a knife in the gut. I don’t want you to take the job from Brown either . I don’t want you to go to New York then come back here. I want you to come to come to New York with me and work , I will double your pay as much as you want . Come live with me and let us spend time together. I don’t want to be apart from you a single day.”
“Drake ,” she said softly. “I . . . I don’t know.”
“You don’t have to answer it today. Or tomorrow. Just know that the offer stands. That the thought of you leaving me and returning to life without me makes me want to punch something with misery. You’re the only good, decent person in my life.”
“That’s not true,” she protested. “You’re a wonderful person.”
“I’m not,” he said bluntly. “I’m a dick and an asshole and I worry constantly that the moment you see who I really am, you’re going to regret ever knowing me.”
“Never!”
“Never say never, sweetheart.” He cupped her jaw. “I can call you sweetheart still, can’t I?”
She nodded, her eyes shining in the moonlight.
“I missed you today,” he told her in a soft, husky voice. “Felt fucking endless because you weren’t at my side.”
“Today sucked,” she agreed. Her hand moved down the front of his shirt, and to his surprise, she reached down and cupped his dick again. “However . . . tonight has potential.”
“Sarah,” he groaned. Had he thought he was hard before? That was nothing compared to how he was now. Her gentle touch turned his dick to steel.
“I want you to make love to me, Drake .” Her mouth hovered near his, a teasing, almost-kiss.
Ah, fuck. That sounded like the best idea—and the worst ever. If he fucked her tonight and she hated him tomorrow, she’d hate him even more. “We can’t, sweetheart.”
“We can,” she told him again, and rubbed her hand up and down his shaft, her touch so good that he had to pause and pull her hand away or else he’d start humping her leg like a fucking dog.
“We should wait so you don’t make any rash decisions.”
“ one will think I am a virgin.”
Her fingers moved to his collar instead, and began unbuttoning his shirt. Christ, was his little Sarah seducing him? She was far too fucking good at that and he was having a hell of a time resisting. “I don’t know,” she said. “I think two years seems long enough for me, I have really missed this .”
Damn, she had a point. “I don’t want to rush you.”
“I wish you would. I’ve been waiting for you to pounce on me.” She pressed her fingers inside his shirt, against his skin. “It makes me feel sexy to know I can drive you crazy.”
This was pretty much every man’s dream . . . so why did he have that sense of looming disaster? He wanted Sarah, she wanted him. This should have been ideal. But again, Drake felt trapped. If he didn’t sleep with Sarah now, she’d think he was lying about finding her sexy. Her fragile ego would be crushed, and the relationship would be in ashes.
As opposed to tomorrow, when it would be in ashes for completely different reasons.
She leaned in, pressed a kiss to his neck, his collarbones. “I don’t want to leave this island without completely knowing you, Drake . And I don’t want to leave as your ex. I’ve found the man I want to be with.”
And really, there was no choice for him after hearing that. Sarah was his. She wanted to be his. He wanted her, too.
“If you’re sure—”
She kissed him. Open mouth, tongue seeking his. It wasn’t a normal kiss—it was a kiss asking for more.
Well, all right, then. He grabbed her and hauled her against him, picking her up. Just like he’d dreamed so many times, those short legs went around his waist and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, not breaking the kiss.
“Let’s go to my room,” he told her. “I have condoms up there.”