Chapter 20: Admit It All

Maryanne stands at her door, the memories of the day prior running rampant through her mind. Her heart twists and she has to breathe in deeply to calm herself. She closes her eyes momentarily to organize herself before exiting her bedroom.

She almost immediately runs right into Max who is walking down the hall past her doorway. They both pause, locking eyes. Maryanne gulps, heart pressing down on her as the memories continue to bombard her.

“Hi,” she murmurs, quickly shifting around Max and trying to glide down the rest of the corridor.

He spins around and grabs her wrist, halting her movements. “Wait, where are you going so fast?” When Maryanne jumps, her gaze whipping back toward him, he slowly releases his hold.

Maryanne forces herself to speak, her throat dry. “I have to get ready for work.”

“Can we just talk?”

Pressing her lips together in order not to stutter, Maryanne avoids eye contact. “About what?”

“You know what,” Max huffs and shakes his head. His hair is already slicked back but he runs his hand through the locks.

Maryanne tries to shrug the conversation off, fear ramping up her heartrate. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Maryanne,” Max steps closer, his eyes hooded as he towers over her, casting a shadow across her face.

“Max,” she responds.

His voice now lowers, causing a shiver to course through Maryanne’s spine and up into her neck. “You can’t tell me that you don’t think about it.”

“Why would I? It was an accident, you know that.” She rolls her shoulders to try and clear her body of the tingling numbness that is caused by Max. She steps away, putting as much distance between the two of them as possible.

A smirk begins to slowly build on his lips. “You know you enjoyed it.”

Maryanne stops herself in the middle of an eye roll, composing herself. “Max, that is not something I wish to discuss.”

“Why not, are you afraid that it’s true?” A chuckle reverberates through Max and echoes around the two of them.

Shaking her head, Maryanne takes another step back, an awkward tension pulling at her neck and temples. “No, why would I even give that a thought?”

“Because you know that if you give it enough thought that you’ll realize you liked it.”

“Max, why are you pushing the issue?”

“Because I want an answer.”

“Why does it matter?”

“It matters to me.”

Maryanne folds her arms, “Just to appease your ego? I don’t think you need a bigger head.”

Max’s lips twitch with a smile, but he refuses to allow it to show. “Stop deflecting, it’s a simple yes or no.”

He steps forward, his body nearing Maryanne’s. She backs away, “Max, stop. Don’t do this.”

Max shrugs, this time a cruel grin beginning to slowly appear in his features. “Then just answer me, it’s not that difficult.”

With her entire body tightening up and fear rushing through her system, she stares at the ground. “Easy for you to say. I can’t just admit something like that.”

“Why not. It’s easy enough. It doesn’t hurt anyone to answer truthfully.”

“Only because you’re so sure that I enjoyed it and want to do it again.”

He cocks his head to the side, refusing to give her any space. “Do you?”

“Max, just stop. I’m not going to give you the answer you want.” Maryanne’s hands begin to tremble at the approximate of their bodies, her heart wracking her ribcage.

“Maryanne, why is it hard for you?”

With one his hands, he reaches up, brushing a lock of hair out of Maryanne’s face.

“Max,” she bites out gruffly.

As all he does is only lean in, she thinks.

“Because it isn’t right.”

Max pauses before leaning back slightly, confusion wrinkling his brow. “What do you mean?”

Maryanne refuses to look him in the eye as she explains. “We have history. We were both hurt. It’s not that easy to just get over. We’re only together for one year, there’s no point in acknowledging that the kiss felt good, because it can never happen again.”

“Maryanne, we have an entire year. Shouldn’t we be truthful to ourselves while we’re here?” There is thick emotion in his words, but she chooses not to acknowledge it.

“Do you really want to know? Yes, I very much enjoyed our kiss, but like we agreed, it won’t happen again. We need to focus on Riley and raising her.” She breathes out in a hurry and imagines she is at work, being polite to the customers. This doesn’t have to be so emotional. She must calm herself.

There is a tremble throughout Max’s body, and when Maryanne decides to glance up, she catches the anger being bottled up. “All you do is talk about her. I know we’re raising her, but she doesn’t have to be the center of our lives. Think about your own happiness.”

Maryanne’s own irritation flares up, but she presses herself to be calm. She puts more distance between them before saying, “Max, just because I enjoyed it doesn’t mean anything will happen between us. It was a mistake and it won’t happen again.”