Chapter 38: Avoidance

It has only been two days since their trip into the city, and yet Maryanne knows that Max has noticed her distance. He has made an effort to search throughout the house for her. He finds her in her small hideaway in the library where she hides, reading a book. He also finds her in the back yard, sipping on a cup of hot cocoa, even though no one ever goes out the back door. He seems to be constantly keeping an eye on her.
When he finds her, he tries to muster up a warmhearted smile, even though Maryanne can sense the odd pain in his gaze. He brings up questions about her work, or how she is handling the cold weather. Soon it will be the end of January. One more month closer to the end of their year together. All Maryanne has to do is hold out and keep her emotions close. It is becoming increasingly difficult, though, as Max grows more and more persistent.
“Maryanne, there you are.” Max erupts into Riley’s playroom where Maryanne sits, cross-legged on the floor pretending to clean up the already tidy room.
“Oh, did you need something?” She tilts her head to the side inquiringly, holding her expression in place. Even though she has told herself that she would forget about her feelings for him, every time she even looks at him, her heart begins to race. Her entire body lights up, butterflies tingling every nerve in her system.
“Uh,” thrown off by the question, Max pauses, his brow quivering. “I guess, um, it’s not all that important. I just haven’t seen you around the house in a while. You’re either at work, or in your room. I was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie?”
Maryanne can feel her heart beginning to warm, a blush forming in her cheeks, at the memory of them cuddled together and under the same blanket as they pretended to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas. She swallows as her throat tightens, “I’m sorry, I don’t think I have much time. I was going to work on some paperwork for the library in my bedroom. I need to get it finished before this weekend.”
Max remains steadfast, his lips unusually straight, his jaw clenched. “It’s not just with me. Riley has been asking to spend time with the both of us.” He waits for her response, crossing his arms as though to protect himself from her rejection.
Hiding her cringe while glancing down at her hands, Maryanne ponders her response. What would be the best option here? She promised herself that she would keep her distance from Max and push away her feelings for him, but can she really refuse Riley? She might only have a few more months with her before she never sees the child again. Maryanne doesn’t want to disappoint her.
“Alright,” she mumbles, almost too softly for Max to hear.
His entire body lights up. His arms fall, swaying at his sides as his shoulders shift up. His features open up, a grin splitting across his face. “Great! We’ll be in the theatre room. Come in whenever you’re ready.”
Maryanne only nods as Max pivots away and heads back toward the door. He pauses in the doorway, glancing back at the librarian before disappearing down the hallway. She remains in that position, staring at the empty space that Max has vacated as she ponders her life. She knows that she will not stay in this mansion forever, and possibly never see Riley again after this. She wants to make as many memories with the girl as she possibly can. If that means having her heart broken every time she is forced in the same vicinity as Max, so be it.
Standing, Maryanne pulls down the bottom of her pants that had ridden up from her sitting position. She sighs and looks around the room once more before shutting the door and heading down to her room. Once she enters, she takes off her jeans and pulls one a comfortable pair of sweats. Tying her hair back in a pony, she files through some of her papers for work that are spread out on her desk. There are a few she has to sign so she grabs a pen and scribbles on several lines before she checks the clock.
“If we watch one movie I should still have some time to go through some more of these before it’s too late.” She thinks before stacking the papers in a neat pile and exiting her room and moving through the house until she reaches the movie theatre room.
Riley squeals and bounces up and down when she sees Maryanne walking through the door. Her and Max made a large bed on the ground in front of the screen and are sitting next to each other, leaning against the chairs from the first row of chairs.
Riley pats the ground next to her, opposite Max who watches Maryanne carefully, “Sit by me!”
“Okay, okay,” Maryanne chuckles at her cuteness and persistence. She moves down the ramp, passing both of them before grunting as she tries to gracefully sit on the floor.
Once she has gotten more comfortable and Riley has thrown a blanket over her legs, Max leans in, whispering, “Thank you for coming here.”
Maryanne clenches her jaw and doesn’t look at him, “I didn’t come for you.”
Max reels back, his brow shooting up at her response, “I know that. Maryanne, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she looks down at Riley and smiles as the girl grins back up at her. The beginning of the movie begins to play, trailers for similar films flashing on the screen.
“Maryanne,” Max stills says softly, trying not to alert Riley as she stares up at the movie.
As the librarian makes an effort to block his words out and focus on watching the motion picture, her heart aches. She hates herself for acting this way when Max hasn’t really done anything to her.
Max speaks up once more, this time his voice a bit louder, to get through to her. “Maryanne, please talk to me.”
She all but hisses back, “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Obviously there is.”
“Not right now,” Maryanne bites out, still refusing to look at him.
“When?”
She holds back all of her emotions, doing her best not to be too harsh towards Max. Her emotions are tightening around her chest, causing irritation at his insistent questioning to build up. “Just not now.”