Chapter 13

I opened my eyes slowly, unwilling to succ.u.mb the sweet dream I had been having. I realized it wasn't a dream, as I felt Lucian's arm around my waist, pressing my back against his chest. His legs entwined with mine under the sheets, his breath in my hair, fanning my neck.
It hadn't been a dream. Lucian had made love to me last night in the most sensual, tender manner. I felt my cheeks heat and my body burn anew as I recalled the beautiful memories. It was an experience I had never had before and never thought I would have. Actually, I never thought such an experience could even exist. How could a single kiss make my head spin? A light touch burn my skin?
My heart skipped a beat as I felt Lucian's arm tighten around my waist.
"Lucian? Are you awake?" I whispered.
"Hmm..." he said in a sleepy voice. Then it was quiet for a while. Had he gone back to sleep?
Slowly, I turned around to face him. His eyes were closed but I knew he was half awake. Maybe he was tired and wanted to continue sleeping, so I kept quiet as to not wake him.
Lord, he was beautiful. Just looking at him made my heart race and my fingers itched to touch him. I let my fingers slide up his shoulder and down his arm feeling the smooth and warm texture of his skin.
"Do that again" he said his voice husky with sleep.
Smiling, I did the same gesture again feeling him shiver slightly under my touch. Then I ran my fingers down his neck, his jaw, his lips, admiring the smoothness. Craving to touch him more, kiss him and hold him.
He grabbed my wrist stopping me, then he opened his eyes.
"Are you done tormenting me, wife?"
"Not yet," I smiled teasingly.
Taking my hand, he kissed my palm then entwined his fingers with mine.
"I have never slept so peacefully before," My heart warmed up at his words. "I wish to sleep with you in my arms every night from now on."
"Every night?"
"Yes, every night." He stated, his eyes boring into mine and suddenly an image of his red eyes from last night appeared in my head.
I had looked into them, into his blood red eyes and still let him make love to me. I should have been scared, should have screamed, or at least asked him what he was, but I had been blind with l.u.s.t.
"Hazel?" He grabbed some strands of my hair and tugged them behind my ear. "About last night...what you saw...I really don't know how to explain it."
He seemed to think for a while before his eyes slowly became unfocused, distant. All of a sudden, images of a young boy with black hair and golden eyes appeared in my head.
The boy, who looked to be five years old, was happy as he ran.
"Papa," he shouted with a smile and enveloped his father in a hug. The smile quickly died on his face as he felt his father stiffen and recoil from his touch. He looked up at his father to see him look down at him with disgust. His heart dropped to his stomach. With teary eyes, he watched his father from a distance hugging and kissing his brothers while smiling and laughing, and wondered why he had been treated so differently.
Now the boy was a little older maybe eight. He was sitting at the lunch table with his brothers and father.
"Where is your mother?" one of his brothers asked. The boy looked at the empty chair next to him where his mother was supposed to sit, then he looked at his brothers who all were sitting next to their mothers.
"His mother is dead son. Leave him alone." The woman who was his mother said.
The golden eyed boy looked down at his hands feeling all alone. He had heard people whisper that he was the reason his mother died. Because she had to give birth to a monster like him.
Indeed he was a monster, at least when he looked himself in the mirror and saw his eyes red and nails sharp like blades. He was terrified by his own image. He hated what he saw so he broke the mirror with a single thought and then sat in the middle of the shattered glass. Tears rolled down his eyes.
With a shaky hand, he grabbed a piece of the broken mirror and placed it on his wrist. Slowly he cut through his flesh but the pain was nothing compared to the one in his chest. He looked at his wrist, the cut had already healed. If only the wounds in his heart could heal as well.
Why was it so difficult? Why was life so cruel to him? He just wanted to be loved, to be held just once. He wanted someone to tell him he wasn't a monster and that he didn't need to be scared.
But once again he sat in the corner of a dark room, scared, crying in his pillow to stifle the sound. He had almost burned his brother, with just a thought. How was that possible? Maybe he was a monster, who had killed his mother and almost killed his brother today. He deserved to be hated, he deserved to be feared. No wonder his father didn't want him, he had killed his wife and could kill him as well.
The golden eyed boy who was now a teenager had accepted that he was a monster. His heart had become numb from all the pain and loneliness he had to endure so he shut his feelings down.
He had heard all kinds of bad things about himself. He had heard them so many times that it didn't matter anymore. No one cared and nobody would ever care, so why bother? He isolated himself from everyone else but still, he couldn't be left alone. His brothers would mock him every time they got the opportunity and his father would sometimes barge into his room in an intoxicated state.
"You!" his father would shout, pointing at him while trying to keep his balance. "You have made my life a hell! Why do you have to exist you repulsive thing? Why?!!!"
"Father?"
"Don't! Don't call me that. I am not your father!" he would scream. "And don't look at me with those eyes!!"
His father hated his eyes and so did he. Some people said his eyes were made from hell fire while others said they were stones from hell. If people looked into them they would sin and eventually go to hell.
"Father? Why do you hate me so much?" the boy asked gathering some courage.
"Hate?" his father laughed. "I don't hate you, I despise you."
"Then why don't you just kill me!" the boy yelled, tears falling down his face.
"I wish I could." His father spat.
Later that night, the boy stood at the top of the castle's tower, looking down. He took a deep breath. He was going to end his miserable life. No more pain, no more loneliness. He closed his eyes. This was the end he thought.
"Nooo!!" Hazel screamed and Lucian came out of his haze.
Startled he looked at her, her cheeks were wet with tears. He realized that she had seen his memories. How?
"Hazel." He reached for her and held her tightly while she cried hysterically against his chest.
"I am sorry you got to see that. I didn't mean to." He said but she just kept crying.
Lucian cursed inwardly. How was she able to see his memories? To see him in pain was the last thing he wanted.
"Hazel?" He whispered her name while gently stroking her back. "That was a long time ago. Yes, I was lonely. My heart had frozen spreading the coldness throughout my whole body. I lived on, enduring until you came into my life."
She slowly stopped crying and looked up at him. He wiped some tears away from her cheeks. It pained him to see her cry.
"You have given me a reason to live. You have brought warmth into my life, making the ice around my heart melt so it could beat again. And now my heart beats and it beats only for you."
She looked at him surprised, blinking a few tears away and then wiping them with the back of her hand. He could hear her heart race inside her chest. She knew what he was going to say and she waited for him in anticipation.
"I love you Hazel. I love you with all my heart."
Then he covered her mouth with his and kissed her til she was breathless.



Lucian watched Hazel in her sleep. He had been watching her for a while now, but he never seemed to get tired. How could he? She was the only thing he ever wanted and now she was his.
He looked out the window, it was almost midday but they were still in bed and Hazel was sleeping. He was relieved that she was safe even though his demon had taken over completely last night. It had scared him but Hazel hadn't been scared. She had still wanted him and for the first time, he hadn't despised his demon. He had accepted it instead and it brought a strange feeling of freedom. No more demon crawling under his skin anymore, rather, he and his demon had become one.
This made him remember the strange man's words. Don't fight your demon too much, accept it instead.
How did the man know that he would find peace if he accepted his demon? Whoever the man was, he wanted to meet him again.
He gazed at his wife again. His foolishly courageous wife. To seduce him even though he had warned her clearly, it amused him. He traced her cheek with his fingers. She was indeed stubborn, very stubborn he thought. Her eyelashes were still wet from crying and her lips swollen from all the kissing. He should have gone easy on her, but how? He had waited so long. So long to hold her, kiss her, and touch her and now he could do all of that, without the fear of hurting her.
Tugging her into his arms, he closed his eyes.
I woke up with a smile on my face. The words I love you echoing in my mind. There has never been a happier moment in my life then that when Lucian, my husband, told me he loved me. The sincerity in which he said the words made all of my doubts and fears disappear.
And then he had kissed me, like never before. His kisses expressing the unspoken words, making me forget everything else than the man holding me in his arms.
Lucian. He was indeed Man of light'. I just wished he could see that and stop believing he was a monster.
The memories I had seen had been so painful. I was able to feel the void in his heart and my heart ached for him. I couldn't imagine how it must have been for him to live like that, all alone, unloved, scared, and confused. How much pain he must have endured, so much that he was willing to take his life. My heart clenched in pain at the thought. He was just a child. How could his own family have treated him like that?
They were the monsters not him.
Looking at him I ran my fingers through his hair. "I'll make you forget." I whispered.
His lips curved into a smile.
"I thought you were asleep." I said.
He opened his eyes.
"I was. Your finger in my hair and your sweet voice woke me up." He trailed his fingers down my cheek.
"Now tell me. What will you make me forget?" He asked.
I shook my head afraid to tell him. Would I be able to make him forget all the bad memories?
"Nothing." I said.
He drew me closer and pressed his lips on my neck while running his finger down my spine. "Tell me."
"I just..." I began trying to keep my voice neutral as it became hard to breathe.
"You just what?" he said nibbing at the sensitive flesh under my ear. I bit my lip to stifle a m.o.a.n.
"I want... to make you forget all the bad memories." I breathed.
He drew back and looked at me, his eyes filled with love and tenderness.
"Hazel. You make me forget how to breathe, let alone bad memories."
With a smile I snuggled against him, but then my stomach growled.
Lucian chuckled. "We should get something to eat."
No, I didn't want to leave his arms but I wanted to eat something too. We had been laying in bed for too long that we had missed our breakfast and maybe he was hungry as well. I forced myself to sit up then swung legs down. That's when I saw my beautiful white gown on the floor, ripped and torn.
"I am sorry about that." Lucian said running his finger through his hair, innocently.
Wrapping the sheets around me I jingled the bell on the nightstand and a maid came in immediately.
"Bring me Irene." I ordered.
"I am sorry My Lady, but who?"
"Irene. Bring me Irene."
The maid, I think her name was Nora, looked at me confused.
"My Lady, I am sorry but there is no one called Irene."
"Alright. Just bring me the maid who was here last night."
"I was here last night My lady."
Alright, now I was confused.
"No you were not. A maid called Irene was here with me."
The maid looked at me, confusion and fear in her eyes.
"My Lady I have never even heard that name." Her voice quivered.
How was that possible? Irene had been with me all these days.
I stood up. "So are you saying I had been without a maid all these days?" I asked.
She shook her head.
"I was serving you My Lady."
I sighed in frustration and disbelief.
"Little girl. Why don't you call the head maid." Lucian said standing up, the sheets only covering his lower body.
The maid looked down quickly her cheeks turning a bright red. Nodding she left the room.
"What's happening? Who is Irene?" Lucian asked.
"Irene is my personal maid. She had been here with me all these days and now she is telling me there is no one called Irene."
He frowned. Yes, I was confused too, but then suddenly I got scared. Irene was a witch. What if she had been discovered and burned alive? Or maybe the bloodthirsty king had found her and made her his s.e.x slave? No, no. I shook my head.
"Is something wrong?" Lucian looked worried.
There was a knock on the door and next an old lady came in.
"My Lady, Your Highness." She bowed deeply. "I am Margaret, the head maid. You called for me. How may I help you?"
I looked over at Lucian.
"Do you happen to know someone called Irene?" He asked.
"No Your Highness. Never heard the name."
"Who had been attending my wife?"
"A maid called Nora had been serving My Lady, Your Highness."
I stared at her in disbelief.
"You may leave." Lucian said and she left.
"She is lying," I told Lucian.
"What makes you think so?"
"I think the king took Irene and told everyone to keep it a secret or maybe they discovered that she is a w.."
"She is what?"
I hesitated for a while then decided to tell him.
"A witch," I whispered.
Lucian blinked several times then laughed.
"A witch?"
"Yes."
"And what makes you think Rasmus took her." He asked.
"Well, he loves women, and she is extremely, extremely beautiful," I said.
"If she really is a witch I think she can take care of herself, and if Rasmus took her, then... you know we can't do anything about it."
Well, it was true. Maybe she could use some magic to save herself. Still, I was worried.
I took a quick bath then joined Lucian for lunch. We both ate in silence and for the first time we both finished everything on the plate.
"I think you regained your appetite." He said.
I had always loved food but had lost my appetite since I came here due to all the stress.
"I don't think I could ever get enough of food." I smiled picking a strawberry from the fruit basket, and taking a bite of it.
Heat flickered in his eyes. "I know I could never get enough of you."
Heat rose to my cheeks at the way he looked at me.
"You shouldn't look at me like that. We just got out of bed." I said.
"I know. Yet I want to take you back there right now."
The intensity in his eyes made me swallow the strawberry without chewing it completely and he laughed.
"We have plenty of time for that, I am in no hurry." He smiled.
The thought of him making love to me again and again made my heart flutter.
Clearing my throat "Lucian, how was I able to see your memories?" I asked.
He thought for a while.
"I really don't know." He said with a frown.
"And you don't know what you are?"
"No."
How confusing and lonely it must have been for him to not know what he is and not be able to tell anyone.
"What happened when you...when you..."
"When I decided to end my life?" He finished. My heart clenched once more.
"Did you jump?" I asked carefully.
"No, I didn't."
I let out a sigh of relief.
"What made you change your mind?"
"I guess there was just a part of me that refused to be weak. I refused to give up and give my father and brothers the satisfaction of seeing me dead." He explained.
I thought about what would have happened if he had jumped. I would never have met him, and I would never have married him, but most of all I would never have fallen in love with him.
Yes, I loved this man.
I think I felt something for him from the first time I saw him, when I had looked into his golden eyes. I was spellbound since then.
"Do you know your eyes are the first thing I fell in love with? You shouldn't hate them. They are beautiful."
I could see in his eyes that if the table hadn't stood between us he would have kissed me. Even though I enjoyed the food, I suddenly wished the table hadn't been there.
As if he knew what I was thinking he stood up and walked to my side. Then he reached for my hand and pulled me out of my chair, bringing me closer to him.
"Hazel." The warmth in which he said my name made me want to melt. "Thank you for existing."
He took both my hands in his and kissed my knuckles.
No one has ever thanked me for anything and this man was thanking me for existing. I didn't know what to say or feel.
"No one has ever cared for me so I never learned how to care for someone. I know I have been a bad husband, avoiding you, hurting you and not being able to protect you. I promise to be a better husband from now on, I promise to cherish you."
I felt tears in my eyes. The truth was, I was the bad one. Yes, he had avoided me and hurt me but now I understood why. He was hurting himself, it must have been so hard for him to avoid me, to live hiding the real him because he was afraid I would hate him just like his family. It must have been hard to live afraid to hurt the person you love.
He had been so alone and I hadn't noticed. Instead, I had distanced myself from him, misunderstood him and denied him his rights as a husband. I know that if it had been any other man he would have used me without my consent and then ignored me for the rest of my life.
But this was Lucian, the man I loved. I must have had a reason to love him and I knew the reason now.
"And I promise to be a better wife."



Lucian left saying he needed to take care of a few things and I just lay in my bed, daydreaming about him. I had Irene to thank for everything that happened. I wished she was here, I felt lonely without her.
Was she alright? What if something really bad is happening to her in this moment and I am just laying here in my bed?
"My Lady?"
Startled I sat up and turned my head.
"Irene!" I almost jumped out bed.
She smiled.
"Where were you? You made me worried."
She looked at me confused.
"You were worried about me?" She asked.
"Yes why not?"
"I am just a maid My Lady?"
"I...I thought we were friends."
Lord, I hated this. I knew that it never worked to be friends with a maid. I had already tried with Lydia and Ylva and they would always say the same A Lady and a maid can never be friends'. They were right. I was naïve to think that.
How could they see me as a friend when they had to serve me all the time?
"We are if that's what you want, My lady?"
I looked at her surprised and she gave me a smile.
"Could you call me Hazel then?" I asked hopeful.
"Yes, Hazel."
Finally!! After so many years I got a friend. I felt like crying.
"So what happened? I thought something had happened to you. That maybe the bloodthirsty king had taken you."
"No, I am perfectly fine."
"Then why are the maids saying they don't know you?"
She looked around and seemed to contemplate about something.
"Can I tell you a secret now that we are friends?" She asked approaching me.
"Yes,"
"I am not a maid Hazel. I am just a witch."
I blinked a few times confused by what I heard.
"I came here to help you and your husband." She continiúed.
"Help us? Why?"
"I can't tell you much, but I need you to believe me."
"Believe you? You just lied about being a maid. I trusted you Irene."
"I am sorry." She said and she looked sorry. "But there was no other way I could have spoken to you. I really need you to believe me."
"Why would I?"
"Because you don't want your husband to die?"
"How do you know Lucian?"
Suddenly a thought popped into my head.
"Is he a witch too?" I whispered and then I thought he couldn't be. Why did I even think of that? Witches didn't have red eyes or did they?
"Your husband... is something very powerful that has never existed before. If he uses his powers in the wrong way he could destroy himself."
"What are you saying?" I asked confused.
Grabbing my arms she sat me down on the edge of the bed.
"Hazel, do you remember I told you magic is not a thing to use easily, that it has consequences?"
"Yes."
"Any power anyone possess has its consequences if misused. Your husband... I don't think his is very familiar with his powers, he really don't know how to use them and he could overuse them and bring destruction upon himself."
"How do you know that?"
"He doesn't even know what he is, do you think he will know how to use his powers?"
I was quite for a moment trying to digest all the information I just got.
"Listen, I am a witch right?"
"Yes."
"Alright. If I try to cast a very powerful spell and use all my power and overexert myself I could die, if not I would be weak for several days and my enemies would kill me meanwhile I can't protect myself. The same goes for your husband, he needs to use the right amount of power, and to be able to do that he needs to be very familiar with his powers."
I just looked at her, many questions swirling in my head and doubts on whether to believe her or not.
"So your husband must not think that he can fight an whole army himself. He could but that would make him very weak, or worse he could die."
"And what makes you think he will fight a whole army himself?"
"He might have to do that, because of you."
"Because of me?"
"Yes. He is planning on escaping with you. He is not safe outside these walls. Both his brothers have sent their men everywhere looking for him."
"How do you know that?"
"I got the information from someone I trust."
"So is Lucian a witch or not?"
"Some things I can't tell you." She said. "I need to leave now."
"Wait! Why are you helping my husband?"
Somehow I was afraid to hear the answer. Was she a previous lover of his?
"I was not his lover, Hazel." She said looking amused.
"Can you read my thoughts?"
"Just one of my many talents." She said swirling and then she was gone.
I blinked several times. What had I just seen? She just disappeared in front of my eyes. Impossible.
"Your highness. Please consider your decision." Lincoln begged.
"I have already made up my mind." Lucian said irritation clear in his voice. He knew Lincoln feared for his life and wanted to protect him but he wished the man would stop begging.
He had promised Hazel to be a better husband so he wasn't going to hurt her anymore.
"Have you prepared everything?"
"Yes Your Highness."
Leaving Lincoln behind Lucian entered Klaras room through the window without anyone noticing him. It was late but he hoped she would be awake, and she was.
She lay on her bed reading a book. He approached her slowly thinking it was stupid of him to do this.
"Klara?"
Startled she sat up on bed "Lucian?" she looked at him with a questioning look then stood up.
"What are you doing here?" She asked.
Yes, how stupid. What was he doing here? He should just have escaped with Hazel.
Something flickered in her eyes.
"Lucian..." She began a warning in her tone. "I don't know what you think of me but I am not like that."
He knew what she was talking about. She thought he had come here to take her to bed. He couldn't blame her when he had snuck into her room in the middle of the night.
"Klara, I can't marry you. I am sorry that I am changing my decision all the time but this is my last and final decision."
Her eyes widened as she put the pieces together.
"You are escaping aren't you?"
"Yes."
"No," She shook her head "you can't. Then why did you come here to tell me?"
Because he knew how she felt about him. If he just escaped without saying goodbye when he had promised to marry her, he would scar her for life. And he knew how painful it was to live with a scar.
"I am not the right one for you. You will realize the day you find the right one. I have to go now." He said turning around.
"I will scream if you go." She threatened.
"Go ahead."
"Lucian I'm going to scream." Ignoring her he continued toward the window.
He knew she wouldn't scream, at least not if her feelings were true.



"Are we really escaping?"
"Yes" Lucian said packing a few things.
Oh, lord. Irene was right.
"Lucian," I said grabbing his arms "I know you are doing this for me but I really, really, really don't mind you marrying Klara."
"Do you want me to marry her and then isolate her somewhere?"
That was terrible. No women deserve to be treated that way.
"No."
"Then you don't mind me touching her, kissing her and taking her to bed?" He said frustration clear in his tone.
No. I didn't like that either. Looking at my hands I tried to come up with something to say that made sense, but nothing came to mind. I was confused and scared.
"Listen Hazel." Lucian said taking my hands. "I don't want to marry Klara because I don't want to neglect her. I know how it feels, I have been neglected my whole life. If I don't ignore her it means I have to be with her, and I don't want that either. I don't want to be with anyone but you."
I never thought about what he wanted. It would be wrong to force him to be with someone he didn't want to. I knew how that felt.
"Alright." I said.
We packed a few things and then sneaked out. Outside we met Lincoln, Oliver and few other of Lucians men.
"Your Highness, the weapons and horses are ready." Lincoln informed.
"Yes. But going outside the gates will be too difficult. The guards are too many, we have to at least distract some of them." Calum explained worriedly.
"Don't worry, soon they will fall asleep," Lincoln assured.
"That's very clever of you Lincoln," A familiar female voice spoke from nearby "but I am afraid many of our guards are immune to drugs."
Klara? What was she doing here?
Oh god, we got caught. We were as good as dead.
"There is another way out if you follow me." She gestured.
I looked at Lucian skeptically but he just grabbed my arm and nodded toward his men, then we followed Klara.
Why would she help us escape?
"Can we trust her?" I whispered as we followed her into a dark tunnel.
Lucian nodded.
"This tunnel leads to the back of the castle. It was made in case we got attacked so that we could escape." She explained.
As we reached the exit we found that a few guards standing there.
"Don't worry. These are my men." She explained as she saw the questioning looks on our faces.
"They have prepared a few more horses and weapons. You will need them." She continued.
She was helping us escape. Why? She was making me confused.
Klara studied Lucian while he put his weapons in place and prepared his horse. As she looked at him her expression was filled with sorrow and another feeling I didn't want to admit yet.
Turning to me she walked closer.
"Why are you helping us?" I asked before she could say anything.
"I am helping him not you."
"Helping him is helping me." I said.
She narrowed her eyes.
"I am trying to hate you. You are not helping." She said.
"Neither are you."
I think saw her lips twitch a little into a smile.
"This is not the end. I have not given up on him yet." She said folding her arms across her chest.
"I am sure there are many men who like you why Lucian?"
Walking closer she leaned in.
"I don't think you understand, but your husband is one of a kind."
Then taking a few steps back "I trust you will protect him, or I will come for him." She smirked.
"Princess Klara," Lucian said approaching us "thank you for your help."
As she looked at him her eyes softened and for a short moment, I thought she would cry.
"Take care of yourself." She said.
We were riding fast through an empty land and once again I felt dizzy. I thought I had gotten used to this but I guess I didn't.
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Lucian slowed down, "Are you alright?" he asked.