Chapter 22

"She chose a shepherd over a prince." He shook his head. "So do you know what I did to her?" He asked.
I just looked at him without replying. I knew he did something terrible to her and I didn't want to know what it was.
"I let my men have their way with her while I had some wine listening to her screams all night long. She was begging me to save her but I had already given her many chances. What a waste, she was a beauty." He shook his head again then grabbed his glass and took a sip of water.
I knew this wasn't just a story, it was a warning. My stomach twisted in disgust and fear and I suddenly felt like throwing up.
"Are you alright?" He asked looking worriedly at me. "You look pale."
"I am fine." I forced myself to speak.
He chuckled darkly. "Don't worry. I won't do to you what I did to her." He slowly moved closer and grabbed my chin. "You are a precious one Hazel. I liked you from the moment I saw you, it was just unfortunate that you were my brothers wife. If you were mine I would treat you like a queen, but you see it's not too late. You can still be mine."
I wanted to slap his hand away, push him away, anything but I couldn't. What if he did to me what he did to that girl? I knew he could even do worse if I angered him enough. Maybe that story was his way of telling me that he was running out of patience.
Suddenly he grabbed the back of my head and pressed his lips to mine. My whole body froze in shock but got quickly replaced by emotions of disgust and anger. I placed my hands on his chest to push him away but he pulled my hair harshly and kissed me more urgent. So I did what I had to do, I bit him.
He hissed in pain and drew back. I took the opportunity and ran away as fast as I could. Running into my room I closed the door behind me while my heart drummed painful inside my chest.
What had I done? He wouldn't let me get away this time, he would let his men defile me.
I sat down, curled in a corner of the room, waiting for Lucian to come. If he was alive he would come and save me and if he didn't come this time then I had to accept that he was gone. Praying to God I waited and waited but he never came.
A tear fell down my cheek. Lucian was dead. My husband was dead.
I burst into tears. The pain was too much to bear that I wished I was dead myself. I cried and cried while holding my chest as if it would lessen the pain but it only got worse until the pain and sorrow turned into fury. Fury toward Pierre.
He was the one who killed Lucian. Now I would kill him.
"Don't be stupid."
I looked up from my tears, not that I needed to look to know that the cold voice belonged to Lothaire.
"What are you doing here? I thought I was clear last time."
"You were angry last time. So I came here to ask again."
"The answer is still no." I said and he sighed.
"You will gain nothing from killing Pierre."
I would gain a lot. I would gain some relief from this unbearable pain and raging anger.
"You think so but you won't." He said reading my thoughts.
"How can you not be angry? Did you not care about him at all?" I asked standing up to face him. "What kind of father are you? You seem to be able to do anything so why didn't you save him? Why did you let him die? Why?" I screamed and cried while hitting his chest violently.
He just stood there like a statue, letting me hit his chest until I let all my anger out and got tired. Then to my surprise, he wrapped his arms around me and let me collapse into his embrace. I didn't protest, I just let him hold me for a while.
"I did care about him." He then spoke slowly. "My way of caring is just different from the human way."
Because he wasn't human. He was quiet for a while before he continued.
"Our kind are not supposed to reproduce, it disrupts the balance of nature and it doesn't go well with those who protect it. The Witches. So when they realized that it was one of their own who was bearing the demon child they became even angrier, and trust me angry witches are not fun."
One of their own? Irene?
"Yes." He said reading my thoughts.
I pulled myself away from his embrace.
"Wait! So Irene is...is..."
"Yes. She is Lucian's mother."
No, no. It couldn't be. I shook my head refusing to believe. Lucians mother was dead. Irene, my closest and only friend couldn't be his mother.
My head began to spin and Lothaire grabbed my arms to prevent me from falling.
If Irene truly was Lucian's mother how could she do this to him?
"Irene's mother who was the most powerful witch cursed Irene to never see Lucian again, and if she or I ever tried Irene would die. Despite that being the case Irene told me to help Lucian several times and the few times I listened she almost died. That's why I refused to help anymore." He continued. "Don't blame Irene. There was nothing she could do. Before she could do anything she would have died."
My head was spinning even more now. I couldn't even think clearly.
Lothaire looked at me with a worried expression. "Hazel, come with me. Lucian wouldn't want you here." He said softly.
"Lucian is dead." I whispered my voice void of emotion.
"Come with me. Irene needs you."
I shook my head. How could someone need me in this state? Then I remembered that Irene was Lucian's mother. She was probably as sad as I was. The son that she never got to meet was dead, but right now all I could think of was my own pain, and there was only one way to end it.
"I'll stay here." I said determinedly.
Lothaire let go of my arms, annoyed by my decision. He paced back and forth in the room probably thinking of a way to convince men then he finally spoke. "Alright. I'll come by some other time, I hope you change your mind till then." Then he was gone in the blink of an eye.
And here I was left confused, angry and hurt. I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Irene was Lucian's mother. She looked so young, yet if I thought deeply about it there were so many similarities between. How could I not have noticed?
I became even angrier. Lucian had died without meeting his mother. All this time he had thought that his mother was dead when she actually was alive. He had suffered so much and been so lonely and confused. How happy he would have been to see his mother, but he was never going to.
He was never going to be able to see his mother or his real father and all this was Pierre's fault and of course Irene's mother. How could she do that to her own family? How could she separate a mother from her child?
Hatred filled my chest. I wanted to scream, kick and punch something but I calmed myself down. Anger wouldn't take me anywhere. Now I had a mission to accomplish. I had to kill Pierre.
It was late at night and Lucian lay on his bed, unable to sleep. Something bothered him. Was it the fact that he was going back home? Or the fact that John and his family believed that he was a witch? It was more likely that he was the devil's son than a witch, he thought.
Leaving the room Lucian decided to go out for a while. The wind was cold and blew his hair onto his face. As he drew his hair back he thought about cutting it. Having it this long would only make people suspect him of being royalty or someone very wealthy. Besides he found it difficult to keep it clean now that he had to do it himself.
He looked up the sky. It was dark with only a few shining stars and the moon hid behind the clouds. Soon the winter would come with it's cold.
"Aren't you cold?" Nora came and stood next to him. She had a shawl wrapped around her shoulders which she held tightly.
"No." He never felt too cold or too hot. That was one of the many strange things about him.
Nora shook her head at his answer. "You couldn't sleep?" She asked.
Now Lucian shook his head.
"I would be confused if I were you too."
"What do you mean?" He asked turning to her.
She turned her gaze away and looked at the sky. "You don't know what you are."
"No..., but I am not a witch."
Nora laughed. "You know, it is not a bad thing to be a witch. You should be concerned about what else you could be."
"Are you saying I am something else?"
She looked at him for a while as if deciding what to say, then she took his hand. "Come." She said. "I want to show you something."
He followed her curiously.
"Look." She said pointing at a plant dead plant in their garden. "You can use a spell to make it alive and grow. Only witches can use magic in form of spells which means if you are able to make the plant grow with a spell, then you are a witch."
Lucian looked at the plant. He hadn't tried to use the spellbook that John had given him so he didn't know whether he could cast a spell or not. Doing this would lessen his confusion and maybe stop John and his family from calling him a witch.
"I don't know any spell."
"Just do as I do." She said crouching down. "Place your hands here." She placed her hands just above the plant to show him how and he did the exact same thing.
"Then repeat after me Glisco vivere'."
"Glisco vivere."
Lucian felt a strange energy surge through him, then slowly the plant began to grow and change color. From dusty dead colors to vivid ones. The leaves and petals came to life and grew whole.
Lucian was stunned to see the whole thing happen in front of his eyes. No. He couldn't be a witch. He refused.
"See, I told you. You are a witch."
He shook his head in denial as he stood up. All those times he wondered what he was and he turned out to be a witch.
As if Nora read his thoughts. "Look you are not a simple witch. You are a drosht."
"What's that?" He asked in an almost harsh tone. Why was he so upset?
"It's a line of very powerful witches, the most powerful ones. They are usually the leaders of a coven. They are called drosht. You come from that line. Either your mother or father is a drosht."
"How do you know all this." He tried to soften his tone but he could still hear the irritation in it.
Nora sighed. "It's hard to explain, but I have a special ability. I can't really explain how it works but I can see what people are. I can see their strength and weakness, their fears, dreams or powers. I can even sometimes see their feelings, if they are strong ones, like yours."
"Like mine?"
"Yes. I feel like you are in a lot of pain and... guilt."
Guilt?
"I don't know what you are guilty about but don't punish yourself too much. It's late. I'll go to sleep now. Good night."
And there she left him confused and upset. All this time he was seeking answers, the answer couldn't be as simple as him being a witch. He had to be more than just that. He knew he was more than that. Something inside of him spoke to him about what he really is, something dark and dangerous. Something...devilish. It only intensified after his near death experience.
Or did he die?
He felt like everytime he got answers only more questions appeared. Would he ever get all of his questions answered?
Going back inside Lucian decided to take one thing at a time. Now he would get some sleep and tomorrow he would find a way to go back home.
In the morning he was met by Julian as soon as he walked out of his room. "We need to talk."
As they went into the living room everyone seemed to be waiting for them. Julian began to speak. "Alright. His Highness and I are leaving today and Nora is coming with us."
"Today?" Layla looked surprised.
"Yes, mother. We need to take action fast."
"But do you even have a plan?" John crossed his arms over his chest.
"Yes."
A thousand questions followed, such as what the plan was, why Nora had to go with them if they would be safe and so on. Julian answered all of their questions calmly and patiently, reassuring his family that everything would be alright.
Lucian wasn't listening much to everything that was being said. His heart and mind were elsewhere. Suddenly there was a willingness to go back, a longing for something that awaited him at home. What it was he wasn't sure but it wasn't the first time he felt this way.
Why would he long to go home when he hated that place?
After Julian calmed down his family and reassured them about his and Nora's safety he left to bring them horses to travel with. Meanwhile Nora and Lucian bid farewell to everyone.
Julian was already back after a short while. He kissed everyone goodbye and gave his father a hug. Lucian grabbed a horse and was about to get on when someone tugged at his clothes. Turning around he found Elle with teary eyes.
"Can't I go with you?" She asked with a sad pout.
Lucian couldn't help but smile. Crouching to her level "No you can't. But I will come back to you." He said patting her head.
Sadness settled in his heart. He had grown fond of Elle. She would always make him smile in all the pain and darkness that surrounded him.
"Promise?"
"I promise." He said hating himself for that since he wasn't sure whether he could keep his promise or not.
Kissing her forehead he climbed his horse. Julian gave him a nod and all three of them rode away. As he rode a strange feeling came over him. What just happened felt oddly familiar, as if he had experienced it before. As he pondered over the odd feeling a memory flashed through his mind.
He was kissing someone on the forehead. "I'll be back wife."
Wife? Why would he say that? He didn't have any wife. Strange.
Pushing the thought aside he realized he was far behind Julian and Nora.
Julian had already explained the plan for Lucian. The king of Osakar was coming to Decresh to marry his sister off to Pierre. That way they would create an alliance between their kingdoms. Osakar is a kingdom nows for its abundance. Pierre was very clever to become an ally to such kingdom.
"You will disguise as the king of Osakar." Julian had explained.
Lucian had been surprised. How did Julian know he could disguise as someone else. Was it a witch thing?
"Yes, that way you can get inside the castle and find out everything about Pierre." Nora continued.
He could get inside without disguising himself as someone else but that he didn't tell them. The less they knew about him the better. He would not make the same mistake of trusting someone easily.
"What do you want me to know exactly?"
Nora opened her mouth to say something but Julian stopped her.
"You will know what you need to do once you get inside the castle. Just don't let your emotions get away. I know you want revenge and you will get it but you need to be patient. There are many people supporting your brother right now. You need to destroy your brothers support system and make his allies his enemies, meanwhile, when the time is right, we will spread rumors that you are still alive."
Lucian was confused for a short while but then everything fell into place. If Lucian just killed his brother and appeared out of nowhere the people of his kingdom would not be keen to have him as their king, and his brothers allies would still be a threat. But, by turning the people of decresh and Pierres allies against him, people would be more willing to have Lucian as their king.
Maybe.
Lucian wasn't sure about the plan but he didn't care much. Once he got inside the castle he would enjoy torturing Pierre before giving him a slow and painful death, even if it meant that the plan would fail. He didn't need people to accept him nor welcome him as their king. Once he got his revenge he had no intention to become king. Meanwhile, he would follow Julian's plan and find out more about being a witch.
"My lady, His Highness has requested your presence."
"You may leave." I said as my hands began to sweat and my heart began to hammer inside my chest. I had spent the whole night plotting my revenge, thinking of different ways to kill Pierre. None of them seemed satisfying enough. Death was a too small a punishment.
But I couldn't give him the punishment he deserved. This was all I could do.
I looked myself one last time in the mirror. I chose a beautiful peach dress that complimented my skin and let my hair down in beautiful waves. Putting some perfume I painted my lips the same color as my dress. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves down I stepped out of the room. I needed to be calm and confident if I wanted my plan to succeed.
On my way to Pierres room I thought about all the things that could go wrong and what would happen to me if I failed. I was sure I wouldn't live to see another day then.
The guards opened the door immediately without informing my presence and gestured for me to go in. I pushed all of my fears aside and held my head high as I walked in with steady, determined steps.
"Good morning, Your Highness." I curtsied.
Pierre who was sitting comfortably in an armchair looked up in surprise. Slowly his lips formed into a smile of satisfaction.
"Good morning, my dear." He said getting up from his chair while letting his gaze sweep over my body, from head to toe. "You look lovely today."
"Thank you." I tried to smile without sounding nervous.
He narrowed his gaze as if trying to figure me out. "Is there a special occasion I don't know of?"
"No Your highness. I just decided to not act childish anymore." I began. "I have thought a lot about what is best for me and as you said it's not being on your bad side. "
I looked up to meet his gaze and he was still looking calculatingly at me. At last he crossed the little distance between us and wrapped one arm around my waist pulling my body to his. I fought hard not to look disgusted.
"Are you saying you agreed to become mine?"
I nodded. "But I need some time.You killed my husband after all, it's impossible to like you overnight."
He let go of me looking amused. "I appreciate your honesty but still you see, I feel...hurt. I will give you the time you need but meanwhile you will not live as a princess but as my personal maid. How about that?" He said raising one brow.
"You still want to punish me?"
"Oh no." He shook his hands. "I just wanted you to not take too much time. I am become more and more impatient, you see."
Yes, I could see. He would make my life miserable as his personal maid so that I would make up my mind fast. Nevermind, he would already be dead by then. As his personal maid I would get many opportunities to be alone with him and that was just what I needed.
"Now, I need a bath." He said enjoying the situation he put me in.
"Of course, Your highness. I will prepare one immediately." I said annoyed that he couldn't even wait a moment before he could begin to order me around. I didn't even get a chance to change from the beautiful dress I was wearing.
Thanks to Lydia I knew how to prepare a bath. I filled the bathtub with hot water, put some scented oils and soap, then went on to bring some towels.
My heart was beating all the time thinking how uncomfortable it would be to bath someone, especially someone as dirty as Pierre. Even if he used all the water in the world he would still be as dirty as he was.
"Are you done?"
I turned round. "Yes, Your Highn..." I couldn't finish the sentences as my gaze fell on a completely n.a.k.e.d Pierre. Shocked and embarrassed I quickly averted my gaze.
He chuckled as I kept looking away until he slid into the water. "I'm waiting." He said mockery clear in his voice.
I quickly went to the side of the tub, avoiding to look at him I grabbed a wash clothes. Before I could pour some soap on it he shook his head. "No, I want you to use your hands."
One brow raised he waited for my reaction.
A curse almost escaped my lips but I urged myself to stay calm. Pouring the soap into my hands I pretended that I was washing clothes instead of a person but he knew how to anger me.
"No, not there, here. No no, there."
"Yes, just like that."
"Be careful, not to hard."
"Don't be so slow. Wash faster." And he kept on and on.
I had never been so annoyed in my life before. I just wanted to push him down the water and make him drown. Sadly I wasn't strong enough.
The days went by very slow as his personal maid and it was a torture but it gave me many opportunities to be with him when he was alone and vulnerable, such as when he was asleep.I towered over him where he lay on his bed, watching his chest rise and fall as he went into a deep slumber. Then I slowly grabbed a knife that I had stolen from the kitchen and tied to my thigh under my dress.
My heart accelerated as I lifted the knife in the air holding it tightly with both my hands. This time I told myself not to fail, not to be afraid. He deserved to die so why was I hesitating? As usual my hands began to shake and I began to sweat. I told myself to bring the knife down and stab him once and for all but my body refused to listen. I listed to myself all the reasons I had to kill him but my body still refused to obey.
I don't know why I was convincing myself over and over again when I knew deep down I that I couldn't kill him. I could just now kill a living breathing human being. I could just not.
Slowly I let my hands fall to the sides still holding the knife in one. I was angry and disappointed with myself. Why couldn't I do this? It shouldn't be difficult to kill someone you despise so much. This was the fifth time I tried and failed.
Maybe I should have just gone with Lothaire, far away from this place. If he came back this time I would. I had nothing left here to do if I couldn't even kill Pierre.
Stuffing the knife back I went to the storeroom where I sleep on a thin mattress among stored food. I did not cry this time as I went back to sleep. I felt empty, as if no emotions were left inside of me and my heart froze to stone. No pain, no anger. I didn't want to feel it anymore and I was thankful those feelings were gone. I closed my eyes and with it I closed everything else, especially my heart.
In the morning I was back to my daily routine. I made my way to Pierres room, prepared some new clothes then went on to prepare a bath.
He was already awake and seemed a little stressed as he looked at the clothes I prepared.
"Don't you like them, Your highness?" I asked with a monotone.
Crossing his arms over his chest he looked at it calculating for a while. "Give me something more lavish. I need to impress my future wife."
"Future wife?" Doesn't this man ever get enough of women?"Why?" He asked turning to me. "Jealous?"
I wanted to laugh. "Not at all....Your Highness."
"But you will be." He smirked satisfyingly. "You see...my future wife is one beautiful thing but that's not why I am marrying her so don't worry." Crossing the distance between us he traced one finger down my cheek and over my lips. "You will always be the most beautiful thing for me."
I am not a thing, I wanted to say but it didn't matter what I was anymore.
As I helped him get ready I was surprised that he didn't tease me or annoy me as usual. He was rather busy with himself, trying to look perfect. I didn't know he cared that much about his appearance but he did. I wondered who his future wife was that he was preparing this much.
"Well done, Hazel." He said looking himself in the mirror. "You have became much better, in fact I think it must have been an accident that you were born as a princess instead of a maid."
I rolled my eyes without him seeing me.
"You may leave now." He waved his hand.
And never did he let me leave so soon.
I left the room quickly and went back to the kitchen where I met Ylva. "Did it go well?" She asked.
"Thankfully, he is absorbed with himself today. Apparently his future wife is coming." I whispered to her then went to grab a pot to make some tea.
"Yes right. Her brother is the king of...I don't remember the name but it's a wealthy kingdom. That's probably why His Highness wants to marry her."
"Who made the proposal?" I asked suddenly interested.
"Probably His Highness. I hope the wealthy king rejects his proposal."
I hoped so too.
After making the tea I put everything on the plate then went to serve it to Pierre. As I walked down the stairs careful not to spill the tea I heard some maids gossip...about me.
"I wonder why His Highness wants her so badly. She is not even that beautiful."
I was so used to it that I wasn't bothered by it anymore or maybe I was just lying to myself, as I didn't pay attention to where I was putting my feet and suddenly I was falling. Then something strange happened, an arm came around my waist preventing me from falling flat on my stomach.
Who could have saved me this time?
What was this feeling? This scent? It was so...so familiar. This whole situation felt so familiar that it was almost scary. Before I could understand what was happening someone grabbed me by the arm and pushed me back so hard I almost fell backward.
"Are you blind?" A woman with long braids dressed in a military attire glared at me looking furious.
Staggering backward I grabbed onto the handrail as to not fall.
"Look at what you have done." She said turning to the man who had saved me. "Are you alright, Your Highness?" Bending down she brushed his clothes off.
Your Highness? I looked at my savior, a tall man, probably in his mid thirties dressed in the most luxurious clothes I had seen... now soaked with tea.
Oh God! What had I done?
The woman turned hastily and before I knew a hand was swinging toward my face. I flinched back and covered my face with my arms waiting for the pain to come, but nothing happened.
"Jade, this is not our home. Let's not create a scene."
A shiver went down my spine. That voice...
Slowly peeking from behind my arms I looked at the man who was now holding Jades arm to stop her from hitting me.
"But look Your Highness, she won't even apologize." Jade said.
Letting go of her arm, "you are not giving her a chance." He smiled.
That smile...
My heart tightened for a reason that was unknown to me. This man...I was sure I had never seen him before yet it felt as if I knew him.
Turning his gaze to me he looked into my eyes. My heart skipped a beat as I looked back into his. I shouldn't but I couldn't help myself.
Suddenly a slap landed across my face, throwing my head to one side.
"How dare you? You lower your gaze and apologize right now!" Jade spoke with harsh tones.
I grabbed my cheek, my whole face stung with pain and I felt the taste of blood in my mouth. As I turned my head back to apologize I saw a hint of concern in his eyes.
"I am sorry...Your Highness." I apologized trying hard not to burst into tears.
I felt so angry, so wronged.
Why did I have to apologize for falling? It's not like I did it on purpose. Actually I wasn't angry because of that, I would have apologized even if no one had told me. What made me angry was the way I was treated.
"You should be careful." He said and instead of it sounding like a warning it sounded as if he was worried about me. Was I imagining things? Why would he be worried about a maid?
Turning to Jade he spoke some foreign words before he walked away.
"I am not done with you!" Jade threatened before following him quickly.
Shaken by everything that just happened I stood frozen in the same place for awhile. Who was he?
Pushing the odd feeling aside I picked up everything then went back to the kitchen to make some new tea. While waiting for the water to boil I washed my face with cold water to soothe the pain. That woman was really strong, but who was that man?
I couldn't stop thinking about him, about the way he smelled, or the way he sounded, even the way he had looked at me. There was this familiarity to him that I just couldn't shake away.
"Hazel!"
"Yes!" I almost jumped startled.
"Stop daydreaming and make some more tea. We have guests." Edith ordered.
"Alright. Where should I serve it?" I asked.
"In the guest room."
I nodded.
"What happened to you face?"
"Oh..." I put my hand on my cheek. "Nothing." I shook my head with a smile.
She looked at me worriedly. "If you want to survive here be careful." She warned.
"I will."