Chapter 11

Should she, open the envelopes? She had to see, to know why letters had been coming from Russia- where her extended family lived and one of them had a message from her mother.

But she was also skeptical. What if what was written in those letters would change her life in a way she did not anticipate? Curiosity or logic, what was she to pick?

She picked up the envelope that had written words on it, and read the words again. Only a mother would write something like that. She did not know her aunt well enough to drop the formalities.

Curiosity won and she opened the envelope. She brought a letter and sighed. Whatever was written in it, she had to brace herself. So, she lowered herself on her father’s chair and read-

*Dearest Katya.
You must be turning ten. How nice it is to finally have a double digit age. I’m sure you are very happy- as am I. Katya, I’m proud of you.
Proud of the girl you are and the woman you are slowly becoming. I’m sure that you’ll grow up to be a strong, courageous and beautiful woman eventually.

*But don’t eat too much cake on your birthday. We don’t want you nursing a stomach ache later on. You know your father has no idea how to deal with things like that.
How is he? Does he still walk around with a frown and try to make everybody scared? I bet even if he does, you are used to it already. Maybe you can teach him how to smile every now and then.
Ah, yes. Your governess. I hope you are eating well because I am sure Alliluyeva has made it clear that if you don’t eat, you cannot go outside to play. Tough woman- I know, but she means well. You’ll understand soon enough.
Katya, my love, Мой ребенок. I love you, with all of me. No matter how tough things get, don’t you forget that I love you. And don’t be scared to spread your wings and fly. Take care of mama’s angel.
I love you.


Katya was perplexed. The letter was from her mother to Katya’s ten year old self. Why didn’t she receive it and was it coming from another country? She had to find answers.

She abandoned reasoning and tore through the rest envelopes- all of them addressed to her. But they had no answers. She got to the letter addressed to her sixteen year old self and there were no more letters.

Why did her mom stop writing after her sixteenth birthday? Why was her father hiding the letters from her? What was she supposed to believe?

The story she knew was that her mother died two years after she was born. Did she write the letters before she died? Did she send them to her father's sister in Russia? When did her aunt send the letters back?



“Your father might be pissed to see you in his office, miss.”


Katya turned to see Michal standing at the door, hands akimbo.
*Miss? It was Katya before.

“My father is away, as you know,” she replied.

“I would have thought that your father would enforce his rules in his absence. And seeing as still you adhere to his rules- except from when you ran away, I’m surprised you are going through his things.”

“The only reason why I do what my father says is because you are around- hovering around me and there’s Luyeva. Well, I can’t shake the both of you and it’s a drag to run away all the time,” she replied him, hastily stuffing the envelopes and letters back into the box.

“We all learn lessons, one way or the other.”

Katya finished shoving everything in and closed the box, locking it and putting the key into her pocket.

“What do you want?”

“It is my job to watch after you.”

*And do what? Reprimand her? Because it felt like he playing the role of her father.

“And I’m not running away. You made it clear that I was supposed to have learnt my lesson. It’s you who goes off without telling anyone and come back when it suits you. So much for a “bodyguard.”

The serious look on his face fell, replaced by something akin to confusion.

“I had something important to do. Did you need me?”

*Did he not understand sarcasm?

“Yes, I needed you. Desperately. But you weren’t around and I had to make do with something else,” she replied him, feigning a sad look.

She watched as his arms fell to his sides and he strode to meet her, covering the space between them in ten strides.

“Are you hurt? Do you need me to fix anything?” He put out his hands to touch her but he dropped them.

*He really did not understand sarcasm- at all.

“I might have gotten into some trouble,” she decided to string him along, “and I don’t know if I can get out of it without causing a fight.”

A frown settled on his lips.
“What did you do? You are not supposed to leave this house without informing me. Or your governess.”

“Well, you left. And Luyeva had important errands to run. It was really important. You see…I went to get lady things and there was this guy that was being rude to me- or so I thought. I punched him in the face and ran away. He might be after me.”

Michal raised a brow.
“When did that happen? This morning?”

“Yes.”

“What time?”

“Uhm…nine? Ten? I didn’t check the time before I left. You don’t check time when blood is running down your legs and you don’t have any tampons.”

Michal said nothing. She waited. His brows furrowed. She waited.

“What?” She asked him when she could no longer bear the silence.

“It’s nine- thirty. In the morning,” he replied plainly.

“It-

He pointed at the grandfather’s clock that was above her head. She looked up at it. *Nine-thirty.

She looked back to see a smirk on his face.

*The smug bastard.