Chapter 33 - My turn

Keegan’s POV

This was a mistake, the biggest mistake I had ever made. Why the hell did I come here?

When I first arrived, I spent a little time calming Faith down and sent her up to bed. She looked exhausted, and she didn’t need to witness if things between Ryder and I went south. Walking into the lounge room, I was hit with the pungent smell of bourbon. It was like I was in a distillery, and I could get drunk off the fumes alone. What the hell was he thinking?

Ryder looked so pathetic, laying on the couch with his eyes closed, nursing an empty bottle of Jim Beam. If I weren’t so mad at him still, I would have felt bad for the guy. By the time I got him up to his room, I had finally realised how drunk he was. He thought he was dreaming me up. It was a punch in the gut when he told me how much he missed me. Hadn’t he been the one that had decided to end our relationship? He lost the right to miss me when he sent his friend to the hospital to break up with me and left me to recover on my own, to deal with the nightmares I had every night that had me waking up in a pool of my own sweat.

This feeling was made worse when he asked me to stay. I figured I could lay with him until he passed out, but when I laid down, he pulled my body against his and held on so tight that it was impossible to get up. Being in his warm arms again made my body relax, and before I knew it, I was drifting into sleep. Something that hadn’t been easy lately. It was the first night since the attack that I had slept through and not had a single nightmare.

When I woke up the next morning, he had finally relaxed enough to allow me to get up. After using the bathroom and washing the make-up residual off my face, I took a detour through my walk-in closet to leave. I was shocked to see my clothes in there, all in the same place they were when the last day I was here. I told Marcus to tell Ryder to get rid of the clothes. Why the hell were they still here? Lucky for me, they were because I didn’t feel like heading home in this outfit. It wasn’t exactly daytime apparel, and since this wasn’t a walk of shame, I wanted to be comfortable. Skipping past all of the high-end couture, I found a pair of well-worn jeans and a t-shirt that had been left behind with everything else.

I took one last look at Ryder passed out in his. Every bone in my body was screaming for me to go to him. To crawl back into that bed and never leave, but then I thought about everything he had done and the money he tried to give me to ease his guilt. When he woke up, we would be right back where we started before last night, and I couldn’t handle any more rejection. I had had enough to last me a lifetime. Instead, I snuck out like the chicken I was.

Every step I walked in this house was pure torture, so many memories that I had created in such a short amount of time. I could remember it like it was yesterday. Every stolen kiss, every room we had sex in, and we checked off quite a short time, the nights we spent in the movie room cuddled on the couch watching movies with Faith. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. But of course, Faith was awake when I went to leave, and in the short time I took to talk to her, Ryder woke up. Seeing him standing there sober was the last straw, his big blue eyes boring into my very being. I needed to get out of there.

When I walked out the front door, I could see my uber making its way up the long driveway. Every second waiting for it felt like an eternity.

“Keegan, can you please wait.” Ryder pleaded.

I swore under my breath. Of course, he couldn’t just let me leave. “No, Ryder, we aren’t doing this.”

Deciding to meet the car down the driveway, I started to walk towards the uber, but he wrapped his hand around my halt. “Come on, please.”

“What do you want, Ryder? What more can you possibly want to do to me?” I growled as I spun around, yanking my arm from his grasp.

He seemed to have lost his ability to speak, staring at me for a few minutes. “Why did you send back the money?”

I couldn’t stop myself from pacing; I was fuming, “That’s it! That’s all you have to ask me? Why did I send back the money? I sent back the money because it was never about the money Ryder. What’s it going to take to get it through your thick head that I didn’t want any of it, the money, the car, the clothes. I just wanted you.”

“I’m sor..” He stared to say before I put my hand up to stop him.

“What are you sorry about?” I queried, “Are you sorry you were a coward and walked away when things got tough? Or are you sorry you got me to trust you and then broken my heart into a million pieces? Maybe it’s a combination of both. But here is the thing I don’t want your apologies, just like I don’t want any of the crap you tried to give me. Six weeks ago, you turned your back on me, but now it’s my turn to do the same to you, except I’m not going to be a coward and will do it to your face, not send my friend to do it for me like a little bitch. Goodbye, Ryder. Don’t follow me.”

I didn’t let him get another word in before turning my back on him and storming off down the driveway to meet the car. With every step I took, I prayed that he wouldn’t come after me again because I didn’t think I would have the strength to walk away from him a second time. Once again, my body was screaming at me to turn back, to run back into his arms and never let go. But I knew no good would come from that.

Instead, I fought back the tears the entire ride back to my apartment, only releasing them once I was safely inside of my bedroom with a tub of ben and jerry’s ice cream, a bottle of tequila and a whole bunch of Nicholas Sparks movies to keep me occupied for the rest of the afternoon. If Mackenna wanted to see wallowing, I would show her wallowing.

I had made it through three movies, the tub of cookie dough ice cream and about half the bottle of tequila when there was a knock at the front door. For a minute, I wondered if it was Ryder, but Marcus swore when he helped me move in that his lips were sealed. I knew his loyalties lay with his friend and client, but I also knew how bad he felt about having to be the one to pass on Ryder’s message, so I didn’t think he would betray that trust.

When I opened the door, I was surprised to see April standing there. “How did you find me?”

“Hello to you too, Keegan, it’s been forever. Yes, I would love a coffee,” She teased.

I stood aside and allowed her to enter, heading to the kitchen to pour two mugs of coffee. I figured it was best to have one myself to sober up a little. I figured I would need to be clear-headed for this conversation.

April had already made herself comfortable on the couch by the time I was done in the kitchen. She gave me a warm smile. “I wanted to come sooner but thought it was best to give you some space. Mackenna has been keeping me updated.”

Of course, Mackenna had been informing on me. I really needed to find a better best friend. I forgot how close she and April had gotten at the games. It made sense that they had exchanged numbers. On the other hand, I had lost all my contacts when my old phone was busted when Dale took me. I guess that serves me right for not backing them up. The only reason I got Faith’s number again was because of Marcus. I should have made more of an effort to get April’s information as well. I’m sure Marcus would have gotten it for me if I had asked him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t stay in contact,” I advised, really meaning it as it wasn’t her fault.

“You’re forgiven on account of the kidnapping, recovering and your boyfriend being a jackass. Just so you know, I haven’t stopped telling him what an idiot he is since I heard about the breakup.” She informed me before taking a sip of her coffee.

“So, what are you doing here?” I inquired as I picked up my own coffee, trying to get the conversation off of Ryder as I had had enough of him for one day.

“I’m here to ask a favor, well I’ll be paying you so less of favor and more of a business opportunity. Do you remember that dress you were sketching the day we met?” I nodded, causing her smile to get bigger, “I’ve been looking for something to wear to this charity thing I have coming up, but everything I see is the same, and then I remembered your dress. Do you think you could make it for me? I’m happy to pay.”

“I’ll do it,” I replied, not even taking a minute to think about it.

This was the perfect distraction for the events that happened today.