Chapter 34 - Letting go of the anger

Ryder’s POV

Sitting in the passenger seat of Michael’s SUV as we made our way through traffic on the freeway, I huffed and crossed my arms. I didn’t want to be here, but he and Marcus had dragged me out of the house kicking and screaming. Apparently, my days of saying not to bro time were over.
I had eased up on the drinking since my surprise visit from Keegan. Faith admitted to calling her when I wouldn’t listen to reason. I felt so bad that I ever put her in the position that she had no other alternative than to call for help from the one person that didn’t want anything to do with me. I should have known that she was still in contact with Keegan. According to Faith, they had gotten together a few times as well. I was dying to get a look at her phone to get Keegan’s number, but I didn’t want to breach Faith’s trust. If Keegan had wanted me to have it, she would have given it to me.

Keegan’s words the day she ran out of the house cut me deeper than any knife could, and what’s worse was that she was right. I pursued her. I told her I was all in, and at the first sight of a difficult situation, I ran in the other direction as quickly as possible. Then I dared to question why she didn’t keep the money I gave her. I knew as soon as it came out of my mouth that it was the wrong thing to say, but it was hard to take them back by then. I wanted to chase after her, but I needed to figure out how I could make it up to her and make her believe that if she gave me a second chance, but I had been coming up with nothing so far. Hence why I had been dragged out for the day. Unless it was work-related lately had been a broody homebody.

“So, are you boys going to tell me where the hell you are taking me?” I grilled them, my sunglasses hiding my look of annoyance from them.
Michael laughed as he turned up the music, “Just relax, you look like you need a massive stress release, and we know the perfect place.”

I slumped back in my seat and closed my eyes, trying to let the music calm me down. I didn’t open them until we pulled into a carpark and Michael killed the engine.

When I opened them and saw where I was, I looked at them in shock, “You guys and not be serious.”

“Just go with it, bro.” Marcus requested, gripping my shoulder.

Reluctantly I got out of the car and followed the boys inside the building, where we were given protective clothing and eyewear to put on over our clothes and were directed into a room filled with glass wear, old electronics, homewares and appliances.

“Well,” Michael said, gesturing at the far wall that was filled with baseball bats, sledgehammers and other tools. “Time to choose your weapon.”

The boys had bought me to a place called Ronnies Rage Room. The aim of the game was to pick a weapon of your choice and go to town on anything and everything in the room, breaking it in as many pieces as you wanted until your time was up. This was my friends' version of stress relief. I hated to admit it, but I had always wanted to try one of these places.

I when to the wall and browsed the many choices that I came across, and it was hard to decide what I wanted to use. Eventually, I settled on an aluminium baseball bat. I slipped on my eyewear and strolled over to an old fifty inch LCD TV. After giving the bat a few practice swings, I swung it as hard as I could into the screen, creating a huge crater in the middle, the spiderweb cracks spreading to the edges of the screen. I hated to admit it, but it felt good.

I moved on to a large vase to my right, sending the bat so hard into it that it crumbled into at least fifty smaller pieces on the ground next to my feet. With every item I smashed, I felt the tension leave my body. I smashed up shit for my mother getting cancer, for my father having a heart attack, for my sister getting sick and losing her hearing, for Keegan getting kidnapped and getting hurt and last but not least for me and the stupid stuff I had done, including walking away from the one girl that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with.

When our time was up, I felt like a different man. One that was worthy of having a girl in my life like Keegan, and I would do whatever it took to get her back.

Keegan’s POV

Throwing myself into making a dress for April had been a godsend over the past few weeks. I felt a little like my old self before the whole kidnapping thing. The event was still a few more weeks off, and I was nearly done. I guess that’s what happens when you have nothing else to do with your time. I just had one more fitting go later this afternoon, and then it would be just a few final adjustments. Making her dress had even inspired me to recreate the dress that I had started to make when I was with Ryder. His gala for his foundation had long passed, but I still couldn’t get the dress off my mind. I had never left one unfinished before and wasn’t going to start now.
But this morning, I had another form of therapy on my mind, or should I say, a task that the therapist I had been seeing since the kidnapping had suggested for me to do. She had been such a support throughout this time that I was finally sleeping through the night again without any nightmares. ‘

I waited in the queue patiently until it was my turn, handing over my id to the lady at the counter and signing the visitors log in front of me before I was given the all-clear to go through, following the direction of the staff until I sat on a cold, hard metal chair staring at a glass screen in front of me. A loud buzzer from the other side of the glass made me jump, and moments later, he appeared and sat on the other side. He looked a little worse for wear since I saw him last. He had lost a little weight, and his face was unshaved, which is something I had never seen in my life. He had a dark black bruise around his eye, and a split lip and the orange jumpsuit did nothing for his complexion.

I saw a flash of remorse flick across his face as he watched me pick up the phone on the wall next to me before mimicking my actions.

I stared at him for the longest time, unable to find any words to express my feelings about him. He was being held on remand pending his court cause. Because of the severity of the charges against him and the fact that he was already trying to flee the country, they decided not to grant him bail while he was awaiting trial. It also helped that he was stuck with a public defender due to his lack of funds, and he also didn’t have any property to put up as collateral for bail since Grams’ house was no longer in his name. Even the partners at his firm were so ashamed of his actions that they wouldn’t even come to his rescue.

“I didn’t think I would ever see you again.” He advised me sadly.

“This isn’t for you, Dale. This is for me.” I replied coldly, “I would say you look good, but that would be a lie. Why are you going this? You know you’re guilty. The evidence is rock solid. You’re not going to be getting away with this.”

“I’m a sick man, sweetheart, but I want you to know how truly sorry Keegan. I need help, and I will not get that in prison. That’s why I’m fighting this. I want to get better and be the kind of father you deserve.” He advised tears in his eyes.

I rolled my eyes at him, “I’m really sick of people telling me they are sorry for the fucked up things that they do. I didn’t come here for your apologies, nor did I come to get a father back. I’ve been doing fine all of these years without one. I came here to tell you that after today, the only time you will see me again is at your trial when I testify against you. I am going to sit in front of a jury and tell them that you sunk so low that you decided to kidnap and sell your daughter, your own flesh and blood, to a man you laundered money. A man that broke my wrist, my ribs and gave me a whole bunch of other injuries whilst you stood and watched him attempt to kick the life out of me. I know that you were once a good father. I remember that clearly, but then mom died, and you changed. Since then, you have put your need to gamble above me every single day. You need to know that that is not okay, and it’s something I can never forgive or forget. One day I will have children of my own, and your name will never cross their lips. You are dead to me. Goodbye, Dale.”

He went to say something but stopped himself and simply nodded before hanging up the phone. This time I copied him, and then I stood up and left before he could move an inch. As I walked out of the visitor's section of the prison, I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. The prosecutor had told me that with the charges pending against him, he would be in prison for a very long time, so I was free of him, and so was Grams’.

My therapist told me that testifying against him would not give me the closer I needed, and she was right. Whilst I would see him punished for his actions, I would never have gotten to say the things that I wanted to say to him. I had said my piece to him, and now it was time to move past this time in my life.
When I got back to my place, April was waiting for me, excited to see the dress again, and when she tried it on, it was a near-perfect fit. I just needed to make a few minor adjustments, and then it would be finished.

She squealed with glee as she spun around in the mirror, examining every inch of the dress. It was a champagne-coloured satin dress with a high halter neck and a very low back with a high slit on each side up to the thigh. She looked like a Greek goddess.

“I don’t know how to thank you, Keegan. It’s perfect.” She exclaimed, “Actually I do, come with me to Michael has an away game, so I have an extra ticket to this charity event. Come with me.”

I hesitated for a minute. If Michael wasn’t going to be there, then it meant that Ryder couldn’t possibly be there. “I don’t know, April.”

“Come on. It’s not like you don’t already have a dress nearly finished.” She pressed, gesturing to the other mannequin where my other dress was hanging, “it will be good exposure for you. I really think you could make it in the fashion industry, and the list of people attending are the who's who of this town it’s perfect.”

“Okay.” I conceded, “You have yourself a date.”