Chapter 46: Can I trust him?

Ana
I was sitting on the couch in our apartment, my thoughts fluttering like butterflies caught in a storm. Paolo sat across from me, his face serious and worried. I knew we needed to talk, that I needed answers to understand everything that had happened and maybe find some comfort amid this confusion.
"Ana," Paolo began, his voice low and full of emotion, "I know all this is hard to understand. But I need you to listen, I need you to know the truth about my past and why I did what I did."
I nodded, trying to stay calm. "Go ahead, Paolo. Don't expect me to back out at the last minute. I want to know everything."
He took a deep breath before starting. "It all began many years ago, when I was a child. My family was involved in the mafia, but not as leaders or powerful members. They were just soldiers, pawns in a much larger game. We lived in a small house on the outskirts of the city, always under the shadow of danger. This was before I met you.
“I remember one night in particular, I was barely eight years old. My father came home covered in blood, with a look of terror in his eyes that I'll never forget. He told us we had to leave, that a rival mafia had put a price on his head. That night, my life changed forever.
We moved constantly, always running, always looking over our shoulders. My parents tried to keep me away from everything, but they couldn't hide the reality from me. I knew we were in danger, that our lives depended on the decisions the mafia made.
At sixteen, I witnessed my parents' deaths. The rival mafia found us, and in the blink of an eye, I lost them. I was alone, without family, without a home. That’s when I decided I had to do something. I had to get revenge and protect those I cared about, even if I had no one at the time.”
"Paolo, that's..." I began to say, but he raised a hand, asking me to let him continue.
"No, Ana. Let me finish," he said, his voice breaking. "After my parents' deaths, I joined the rival mafia. Not because I wanted to betray anyone, but because I needed to know who our enemies were and how I could stop them. I worked hard, climbed their ranks, earning their trust. But I always had one goal in mind: to protect those I cared about. I think that’s partly why I ended up in the rival mafia to your family, but I never wanted it that way. My intention from the start was to work with you, not against you."
“We met when we were both kids, I know, but it wasn't until we were young adults that our connection sparked, remember? I was in the middle of my mission, trying to uncover more about the rival mafia and how to stop them. At first, I didn't know who you really were, but I soon realized you were different. You were strong, determined, and above all, a natural leader. I felt a connection with you that I had never felt with anyone else.
Little by little, I realized that my mission wasn't just about revenge. It was about protecting you. I knew the rival mafia saw you as a threat, and I decided I had to be close to you to keep you safe. I infiltrated their organization to dismantle it from within and ensure a safe future for you.”
I fell silent, trying to process all the information. I knew Paolo had a difficult past, but I never imagined to what extent. I felt a mix of compassion and confusion.
"Paolo, I understand that you wanted to protect me, but... why didn't you tell me before?" I asked, my voice trembling slightly.
"Because I knew you wouldn't believe me. I knew that everything I had done looked like betrayal. But I swear to you, Ana, everything I did was for you, to keep you safe," he replied, his voice filled with desperation.
"And what about the conversation I overheard? Why were you talking to the leader of the rival mafia?" I insisted, needing clear answers.
"That was part of the plan. I needed them to believe I was on their side to get crucial information. I was planning to sabotage their operation from within. But when I saw you walk in, I knew things had gotten out of hand," he explained.
I felt a whirlwind of emotions inside me. I wanted to believe him, I wanted to trust him, but betrayal was a shadow that loomed over everything. The story at least from my point of view seemed consistent, but I have seen so many betrayals, especially from important people, that it seemed hard for me to determine if this could be true or not.
"Paolo, I want to believe you. But all of this is too much. How can I be sure you're really on my side? You yourself have said that I shouldn't trust anyone, I think that should include you."
"Doubt everyone, Ana, except me." Paolo leaned in and took my hands in his. "Ana, I can't change the past. But I can promise you that I will always be by your side, that I will do whatever it takes to protect you and show you that my intentions were always sincere."
I remained silent, staring into his eyes. I could see the pain and sincerity in them, but also the doubt and desperation. I felt my heart split in two, between love and distrust.
"I don't know what to think, Paolo. I need time to process all of this," I finally said, letting go of his hands.
"I understand, Ana. Take all the time you need. I just want you to know that I'll always be here for you, no matter what happens," he replied, his voice soft and understanding.
I nodded, trying to calm my mind and emotions. I knew I had to be strong, that I had to make tough decisions. But above all, I needed to find the truth amidst all the confusion.
The night passed slowly, my thoughts spiraling. I woke up early, unable to sleep, and decided to walk around the apartment. I looked out the window, watching the city wake up, feeling a mix of hope and despair.
Paolo came over and wrapped his arms around me, his warmth comforting.
"Good morning, Ana. How are you feeling?"
"Confused, but grateful for your honesty," I replied, resting my head on his shoulder.
"I know this is a lot to take in. But together, we can overcome any obstacle," he said, his voice full of determination.
"I hope you're right, Paolo. Because we need to be united now more than ever.