10.🍸 Lavender Lemon Drop

**KEKE**

I choke on the water I’m sipping.
While I’m trying to get my breath back, the kids beg Justice for me to stay.
Judging by the stiff set of his broad shoulders and how his brow pleats, it doesn’t seem like the answer will be “Yes.”
I speak up so he doesn’t have to chance to say “No” and embarrass me further. “Guys, I already found a hotel. I’m just going to do the dishes and then—”
“You can stay here,” Justice says in a casual tone. He rises from his chair and takes his plate to the sink while the guys’ cheers drown out my gasp of surprise.
Justice comes back with his jacket on, looking at his phone for what I assume is the time. “Hey, I’m already late, but we can talk when I get home around eleven. Seth will show you where everything is at, okay?” With a few instructions for the guys, he leaves without looking in my direction.
I shouldn’t be disappointed... but I am. His indifference to whether I stayed here or at a hotel caused the emptiness of Lilli’s death to come back… to morph into something different. Something I haven’t felt in well over a year.
Ever since Dubai.
I don’t have a moment to dwell on it as the kids stand up with their plates, proclaiming they’ll help me clean.
Their offer proves to be a great distraction as it takes my mind off my troubles by testing my patience.
At every turn, I need to tell them to do something over again. Cam leaves crumbs on the table. Seth doesn’t sweep in the corners, and D’Andre tries to put the pans away with soap still clinging to them.
I know Lilli taught them better.
Seth and D’Andre don’t complain about the do-overs. Only Cameron doesn’t hesitate to voice his displeasure.
When I tell him to do the table again, he slings his head back and says, “Justice says he doesn’t care if there’s a little mess here and there.”
I guess he doesn’t.
It seems Justice has let them slack off and they’ve forgotten their upbringing. There is way too much spot cleaning around Lilli’s home.
Places dusted in some areas, not in others.
Smudges on the furniture and walls.
The floors, mostly clean, but dull.
Lilli’s apartment has turned into a man’s pad.
I arch a brow and swivel my neck. “Mess equals roaches and I bet you’ll care when one crawls up on you in the dead of night.”
Cam grabs the cloth without a word and goes about doing what I told him, ignoring his brother’s laughter.
With the kitchen finally done to my standards, the guys go to their rooms to finish their homework. Leaving them to it, I search until I find a mop that has seen better days, a bucket, and some cleaning products. Within twenty-five minutes, the kitchen is spotless.
Lilli had run a tight ship keeping her house tidy. I want to keep that spirit alive while I’m here.
Thoughts of my girl cause grief to spear me in the chest. My eyes hurt from the pressure of holding in my tears. I blink them back, refusing to let them fall and upset the boys.
Instead, I head down the hall to the bedrooms, half expecting to find the guys holed up playing video games. I check out Seth’s room first. They aren’t there. Nor in Cameron and D’Andre’s room, or in the study where Justice sleeps.
Here, I linger for a moment. Like the other bedrooms, clothes lay scattered on the floor or piled in a corner.
Other than the garment heaps, the rooms seem clean...
However, the bathrooms could use some work. There is a ring bigger than Saturn’s around the shower/tub combos, spots on the mirror, and the sinks...ugh.
I bet microscopic germs would eat my toothbrush, if I set it down.
My hands itch to get started with the battle against the bacteria, but the first order of business is to find the guys. With reluctance, I leave the mess behind and enter the last room on the left.
Lilli’s room.
And that is where I find them.
My duffle is on the bench at the bottom of her bed with my bag on top. Seth is closing a drawer and Cameron and D’Andre smooth down fresh sheets.
It’s my first time in here and right away I notice that the place is a manifestation of Lilli.
The room smells of baby powder and her signature scent of lavender. On the walls—what she described as sunshine yellow when she first moved in—hangs framed art work depicting her kids. The baby-blue accents, her favorite color, dot the room in the form of various picture frames, a quilted comforter, and throw pillows. Her light-oak bookshelf contains the latest bestsellers, with the top shelf reserved for the souvenirs I’d given her throughout the years.
I miss you, girl. So damn much.
“You’ll sleep here, Aunt Keke,” Seth says, joining his smiling brothers by the bed.
If they were sad or unsure, I would insist on sleeping somewhere else. There isn’t a hint of that. They’re happy. Full of giving.
I go to the trio and hug them as hard as I can. As emotion overtakes me, it’s impossible for me to express how much staying in their mother’s room means to me.