48. EPILOGUE

**KEKE**

“She is beautiful, Pippa, she really is.” I’m holding little Jaylyn who was born not more than three hours ago. She has wisps of hair and looks a beautiful as her mother. She hasn’t opened her eyes yet, so no one knows what color they are.
Pippa smiles at me, her eyes tired but her expression is happy.
“Thank you, Keke. She was a long time coming. I’m so glad she is finally here, ‘cause I swear it felt like I was pregnant forever.”
“What was that you said? Xaver says, coming into the room with Justice. “You want to get pregnant again right away?
Pippa rolls her eyes and seals her mouth against the laughter that bubbles in her throat. Still, puffs escape and her brown eyes dance, taking on a new life.
When her mirth is under control, she fake scowls and grits out, “Xaver Sayle, I’m not thinking of having another one… at least for a while.”
Xaver cocks his head. “Now, Pi, you were just saying the other day how you wanted five or six…”
They continue their light hearted bickering as Justice comes to stand beside me, silent in his awe of the small bundle I hold in my arms.
Two days ago, I went to see Dr. Chopra, Pippa’s OBGYN. I was lucky to get an appointment with her as she is normally booked for months in advance, once we met, she also took me on as a patient.
I’m still not sure, but I think Xaver had something to do with it. It seems he donates resources to her childhood village in India. Then again, it may be down to the fact that I spoke to her in Hindi, one of her native languages.
Dr, Chopra, after giving me a thorough examination with an ultrasound, pronounced that although I only had one ovary, I should have no problem getting pregnant. It might just take longer than others. She suggest that stress and eating the wrong foods may have played a role in my infertility. She suggested that I slowly change my diet and start to take long walks.
Justice had taken me to my appointment and waited in the lobby while I spoke to the doctor. Enthusiastic about the good news, I chattered non-stop on the way to the car, failing to notice his silence until it engulfed us during the car ride on the way home.
Rather than guess at his mood, I had asked him point blank what was wrong.

*“What are you thinking, Justice? Let me know so we can talk it through…don’t shut me out.”*
He pulled into an empty parking lot and kept the heater running as he turned to me. *“I was so accepting of the possibility of not having my own kids and now…”* His palms came away wet when he rubbed at his eyes. *“I’m scared…you know. What if...what if I have no feelings like my mom. I mean I do for the guys, but for my own child…will it be different? I hate not being able to see ahead and know for sure.”*
*I told him in a firm and determined voice, “Just because your mother wasn’t able to show you love, and didn’t protect you when you she should have, you are nothing like her. How you are with me…with the kids, proves that.* I took his face in my hands and held his gaze so he could see the love in mine. *“Justice, never doubt your capacity to love, because neither the kids nor I do.”*

The kiss he gave me after that, I can still feel in my soul.
We’ve talked more about the subject since then and came up with a solution. I’m going to stop working at Clancy’s in the mornings to take the kids to school. Since Justice’s Brooklyn gym is on the way home, I’d start to work out there. I flat out refused to have him as a trainer. I wouldn’t get any kind of workout done, I’d be too busy staring at him flexin’ and stretchin’ and all that lifting…
I was serious, but he just laughed. He got the message when I signed up with a female personal trainer to start after Trey and my parents leave.
Justice breaks his silence when he says, “She really is beautiful, isn’t she?”
He reaches out to run the tip of a finger down the baby’s hands.
“Yes, she is,” I respond.
He lapses into silence for a moment then says, “Thank you for the day…for understanding my fears about having my own kids. I thought the words…the ideas behind it sounded so damn strange, but you understood and you didn’t judge. Thank you.”
“I’ll never judge your reasoning, Justice.” I let out a soft giggle. The baby stirs in my arms but doesn’t wake. “I can’t lie…I truly don’t get your reasoning for eating beets, but other than that…”
He chuckles softly, so as not to wake the sleeping child. I swear his low rumble *never* fails to make my heart flutter. Xaver comes to get the baby and after wishing Pippa and him well, we migrate into the hallway.
“Want to go grab some dinner?”
“Not here.” I give him a sly smile. “You know…Seth texted me that Sebastian bought them some pizza, so we could pick something up and go somewhere…”
“Hmmm, are you trying to seduce me, K?”
“You bet I am.”
He wraps me in his arms and places a light peck on my lips, giving me a promise of something more.
“Did you know I almost threw you out of the bar the first time I met you?”
I swivel my neck back and step back an inch. “Pffft, would’ve liked to see you try.”
He pulls me flush against him. And if that doesn’t start my heart racing, his obvious desire south of his belt *does.* “You know, there is a wrestling area in the gym. Are you up for the challenge?”
“Won’t it be in use at this time?” Darkness has blanketed the city, but it’s not *that* late.
Justice smirks. “I guarantee you it will be unoccupied by the time we arrive.”
“In that case,” I say looking deep into his beautiful turquoise eyes, “I’m up for anything with you. For now, and forever.

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