Not My Own

“Kiera! Why didn’t you just wait for me to park the car? You could have been injured, you know?” She admonished wide eyed.




“I just didn’t want you to get stuck amongst the cars trying to leave. C’mon, I’m ready to be done with this day.” I rolled down the window on my side and stared at nothing in particular.




“Okayy?” She drawled out but she did turn the car so we could leave the walls of the school behind. “How  was your first day at school? The monsters did not trouble you too much did they?” She broke the silence some twenty minutes later. 




“It's whatever.” There was a strange burning sensation in my stomach. “How was your first day at the house?”  




“It was whatever.” She replied with a wink. 




The burning intensified, even spreading. “Did the painter come over?” We’d thrown out all the burnt things in the shop and the painter was supposed to come today, and so was the plumber. 




“Yes and the plumber. Gracie was real helpful too.” 




“What's wrong mum?” 




“The plumber, he ran away.”




“Why?” The fire in my belly turned into a low, painful hum. 




When the car passed the tree that signaled the end of St. Patrick’s territory, the low hum exploded into a loud roar. The roar was more than just a feeling, it was a sound, louder than cymbals crashing together. 




I tried my best to focus on my mother's words so I could give an appropriate reply, but it was becoming harder to manage each second that went by. “He said he heard spooky noises and whatnot, he lost his nerve and ran away. He was the only one in the entire town who would dare come to Nana Brooke’s house. Now there is no way for us to fix the plumbing system. I don't know how we will fix the water faucets and the sinks and get water running in the house.” I heard my mother’s words clear as day, even registered the growing anxiety in her voice but metally, I was getting weaker. An unknown force was battling for control over my mind. “Gracie has offered to talk Alys into letting us get the house across from her at a discount but I don’t know who will want to buy Nana Brooke’s house though. Will we end up on the streets?” She started hyperventilating and I tried to calm her as much as possible even as the battle in my mind raged on. 




“Please calm down mum, you are driving.”




“But what do we do? Usually, your father takes care of everything and I..” Her voice cracked.




“Mum! You really need to calm down. All of these are small issues that can be easily resolved. Has it occured to you that Gracie is just saying that to you so we can live across from her? I mean all she has in her life are those cats. She is probably very lonely and that’s why she is doing everything to make us move into the house across from her.” 




“Oh.” She digested that for some minutes. “Even if that is the truth, what do we do now?” 




“We can paint the house ourselves.” 




“What?!” She yelled in horror. “But we know nothing about painting!” 




“True but we can watch how to videos. It will be fun mum. A mother and daughter activity. Don’t you want that?”




She chewed on her lip. “Yes, that will be lovely but….” 




“It's just a shop mum, a paltry 1000 square foot. An afternoon or two and it will be done.” My skin felt tight and my head felt like it was not mine. 




“What about the plumber? No will come Kiera.” 




“No one in this town you mean.” I conceded, a plan forming in my mind. 




“Yes. We can fix the plumbing ourselves. No amount of how to videos will help us with that.” She mumbled dejectedly. 




“We don't have to fix it mum, a plumber will.”

“Aren’t you listening?” She huffed. 




“I am, you aren’t.” 




“What are you going on about now?” 




“There are three towns mum. We just have to go to the next town and get another plumber.” 




“But what about the ghost?” 




I snorted quietly. A ghost, in the twenty-first century. “There is no ghost mum. Tell you what, I will always be around when the plumber comes to work on the house. How about that?”




“Really? Yes mum. I'm certain the plumber got spooked by a rat or something and mistook it for a ghost because of the town legend.” 




“What legend?” She bugged her eyes at me. 




“The Nana Brooke legend. In fact, you chose her surname.” She only got a bemused look on her face and I figured it was the perfect time to ask the one thing that had been bothering me all day. “So tell me mum, why did you choose the name Elsie for yourself? Did you always like it?” I admit it was cool and more down to earth than Louise but the change did disconcert me. 




“No. That is my real name.” She affirmed. 




“What? You mean a second name?”




“No. I only bore Louise because Frank said that Louise was a more regal name than Elsie. He said it sounded like the name of a hippie.” She confessed in a small voice. 




“You mean frank even made you change your name?” I growled, my mind blown by the sheer audacity of that man. 




Mum flinched away from me. “Y-yes, but Louise is better than Elsie though, people accord it more respect.” She babbled on, trying to convince me  that what Frank did to her was in any way a decent thing for a man to do to his wife . 




The small measure of control I’d won over the invading force in my mind was blown to smithereens at mum’s revelation. Rage, pure and blinded clouded my mind and vision. I wanted to rip him from limb to limb. The town was quiet, but the haze of rage in my veins turned the world a brilliant red. 

I could feel the same burning anger clawing its way out of my throat just as I finally gave up control to the ball of black energy in my mind. 




‘Free! Finally, I am free’ It yelled as my conscious self got banished into the corner. 

I could see and hear, even feel but I was no longer in control of my actions. My body was a car and there was a new driver behind the wheel. 




“Park the car.” I ordered in a voice that was mine, yet not. 




“What? Kiera?” She touched my shoulder and I shrugged it off. Irritated at the audacity of this weak human to dare touch me without my permission. “Why do you… What is wrong? You look….” Her voice shook and I didn't have to look at her to know she was terrified. 




I didn’t know what was wrong with me but I knew my eyes would only freak her out more. This is the third time it was happening and I already knew the signs by heart now. Even without a mirror, I knew the black and red swirls were back in my eyes. 




I couldn’t let this thing in me hurt my mum. I tried to fight it and wrest back control of my vocal cords. “Please park the car mum.” I begged gutterally. 




The car jerked as mother swerved from the road. “Hey! Can’t you drive?” A man’s voice yelled angrily. 

Neither of us paid him any mind. 




“Ki-kiera my dear. Wh-what's wrong with you?” The tears and fear was evident in her voice. 




“Go home. I will return to you shortly.” I replied in a voice not my own. 




It was an out of body experience as I opened the car door and walked away from my screaming mother.