22.

The search for Darius lasted ten days. No one wanted to give up, every single able body had been out searching but no new signs ever appeared to give any hints as to what his fate might have been. Everyone had begun to assume the worse even if no one would talk about it. The nonverbal accusations that Farryn had faced slowly began to fade away. She had put in as much effort as everyone else to search t for the male who had vocally opposed her.

It had taken Farryn a few days to grow used to Xavier being in her household. He got along surprisingly well with Vini which was slightly worrying in its own way but was ultimately good to see the Faerie bonding with her packmate. Celeste had even expressed her jealousy at her brother growing closer to the male, considering it had been her task to keep an eye on him.

Xavier seemed to purposely put himself in Farryn’s path whenever he could. She had not yet forgotten his promise of a rematch when they were both better but he seemed to have. Neither ever brought up the topic of the Royale, nor of the rejection in front of the pack and Farryn was rather content to keep it that way. The more she got to learn about the male, the more interesting he seemed to become. He refused to talk about his life before the pack, he was very quick to change the topic if it ever came up but it rarely did. Farryn wanted to respect his privacy, if he didn’t want to talk about it, she wouldn’t try and force it.

Everyone in the pack was slowly beginning to return to their life before the disappearance. No one acted as if it didn’t happen, the empty home was a constant reminder and everyone still held a sliver of hope that he would be found alive and well so no one would move into it.

Chandler thankfully stepped into his old role as Beta with ease, Ian was the only one who seemed to have any sort of objections but never gave the stronger male any trouble. Life had started to become pleasant/ Farryn had done her best to avoid Chandler since the kiss, he seemed to enjoy the fact that she grew flustered around him but he seemed oblivious as to why that was.

Her wolf had fallen silent ever since that day, she was still there, laying in the back of her mind, but was silent and no longer a constant presence. Farryn knew it was because she refused to connect. She was forcing the wolf down, forcing her to be smaller than she should be and it was weakening the creature. No one in the pack seemed to notice the internal struggle she was facing. If they did, no one showed any signs of caring, no one except Xavier.

Farryn had stopped sending out search parties for Darius but had insisted that Xavier remain in her home. She continued to use the pack as her excuse and he didn’t seem to notice the way she edged away from him just the slightest bit whenever he entered a room.

There was a gentle knock at her door, Farryn had been curled up in bed with a book. Ever since Chandler had returned to his role her duty load had grown significantly lighter. Farryn unwrapped herself from her blankets and set her book on her bedside table before opening the door to find Xavier on the other side, two coffee mugs of steaming liquid in either hand.

“I wanted to see if you’d want a cup of tea, you look like you haven’t been feeling well and chamomile tea always made me feel better.” He offered her a daring smile as if he knew she would reject his offer. Farryn allowed on the slightest hint of surprise show on her face as she leaned on her door.

“That’s nice of you.” Farryn extended her hand to reach for one of the mugs but Xavier took a slight step back, out of her reach. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise as he flashed his white teeth at her in a grin.

“A cup of tea with me.” He clarified, lifting his mug to his lips and taking a small sip. Farryn sighed softly as she ran her finger along her doorknob. She watched as his eyes traced the motion. It wasn’t until she cleared her throat that he returned his eyes to hers, now wearing a smirk on his lips.

“Fine! Let’s have tea together.” Xavier chuckled triumphantly as he lead her down the hallway to the dining room where he sat her cup down across from where he took up a seat. Farryn took her seat much slower with her eyes not daring to leave him. Xavier kept his gaze on the contents of his cup until she was seated comfortably and took her first sip.

“I heard when you first arrived you had been sickly and starved. Amelia has voiced some concerns with how pale you’ve been lately that you’re getting sick again. She says… that you had said some pretty strange things while you were sick, like that you couldn’t shift.” Farryn looked up quickly expecting to see a smug look on Xavier’s face, but he looked genuinely concerned.

“I did a lot of traveling before I joined this pack, I’ve seen the disconnection before. I’ve seen what it can do to a person and I know what the signs are… are you okay?” Farryn swallowed hard as she looked back down to her tea. Xavier lifted his mug once more. The question had come so casually as if they were close.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, a disconnection? I’m just starting to come down with the flu, it happens every time the cold comes.” Xavier sighed, while he lowered his cup Farryn lifted hers. His head tilted to the side as he observed the way her own eyes darted around rapidly as she tried to come up with a quick way to change the topic off of herself.

“Anyways I’ve been meaning to ask, what’s going on with you?”

“With me?” Farryn allowed herself to smirk at the surprise in Xavier’s voice.

“I noticed in the forest, your eyes changed colors, none of which were the color of your wolf’s eyes.” Xavier’s face seemed to harden at her words. There was a brief moment where Farryn was sure he would rise from the table but instead, he sipped calmly at his tea.

“My eyes don’t change colors. You probably saw something that was just a trick of the light.” The pair held eye contact for a moment before Farryn looked away first.

“Remember what I said, we all have our secrets Farryn isn’t it better to wonder than to know?” Farryn scoffed quietly before rubbing her forehead gently.

“In that case why ask about mine?”

“Because your secrets could affect the welfare of the pack. I get to be selfish, you don’t. Not anymore.” Farryn couldn’t help but roll her eyes. With the motion she felt the wolf inside slowly lift her head, taking a sudden interest in the conversation being had. Xavier was right. Everyone who ever told her that she could no longer be selfish was right and of course, she knew that.

“I guess… I guess I’m trying to be selfish because I don’t know what’s going on. I can’t exactly make a big deal out of something I don’t quite understand myself. Besides, everything is fine.” Farryn lifted her much and forced herself to down the rest of her hot tea with just a slight wince.

She set her cup down gently before placing her palms on the table. “Thank you for the tea Xavier, it was a kind gesture.” As Farryn rose to her feet Xavier reached across the table and wrapped his fingers around her wrist.

“You’re welcome, but Farryn, what you’re doing isn’t healthy. You are tearing yourself apart from the inside out. People might not say anything, but we can all see it.” Instead of releasing Farryn’s wrist, he lifted her hand from the table and leaned closer. “If you ever want to talk about that little bit of darkness inside of you, my door is always open for you.”

Xavier winked before turning her wrist over so her palm was facing upwards and gingerly pressing his lips to the blue veins. Once his fingers uncurled from her wrist she pulled it quickly to her chest, her fingers curled in the exact same manner his had been before she left the dining room. The image of Xavier smiling up at her matched the feeling of his warm lips on her skin. Farryn’s shoulders dropped slowly as a horrid migraine hit. Her wolf whined softly as Farryn left the room. She agreed with what Xavier had been saying, this wasn’t healthy. The wolf slowly lowered her head once more, her soft blue eyes drifting shut as the strength it took to keep herself awake escaped her.