Episode 48

"Hi" I tried to smile "Dad" that was meant to form a single sentence.
"Ashley. What are you doing here?"
I felt my brows furrow in confusion and hurt.
"What do you mean what am I doing here? I came to see you"
He looks behind me to Ric before looking back at me,the distasteful look still on his face as he pulled the door wider for me.
"I. . . . Want you to meet someone,dad"I quickly said before he completely backed into the house,me turning around to Ric who started walking up the steps. "This is Riccardo Marcello,"I pointed as Ric fell beside me,a small smile on his lips "I work for him"
"Hello sir,"Ric greeted, extending a hand out to him "It's nice to meet you"
He takes his hand rather reluctantly, before saying "thank you,Ric. Come on in"
We both stepped inside,the room reeking of drugs and old things. Nothing has changed. The rug carpets were still the same old red ones,the wallpapers were still the floral ones,the doors looks polished,from what used to be white to now brown and the couches were still the same dark forest green color. The TV was still the old packed TV set. I remember watching Hannah Montana on it with Katie every single day during highschool. I blinked hard as memories began to flow through,fearing I'd end up thinking about things I'd rather not.
After shutting the door behind us,dad started walking past us, towards his usual couch. I couldn't help notice the limp in this steps,how fragile he looked as he tried to sit down,how sick his tired eyes looked as they finally settled back on me as he sat down.
"Sit down Ashley"Dad said, cutting me off my stares.
"Ah. . . . I think I should go"Ric said before I could tell him to sit. I turned a confused look at him and he gave me a smile.
"You two need some time alone"he replied my unasked question.
"Where are you gonna go? You didn't tell me. . . . ."
"I'm gonna stay at a hotel,don't worry,"he replied "I really don't wanna cause any inconveniences"
"Of course not,Ric"
"I already called a hotel, Ashley. I'll text you the place later. Okay?"
I nodded anyways. I wasn't gonna win this,he already called in for a room at the hotel. I walked him out and bade him goodbye before returning inside to catch my father's eyes on me.
"I may be old now but I'm not blind, Ashley,"He said "is he really your boss or your boyfriend?"
"Dad! No he's not,"I sat down on the nearest couch to his "We work together"
"You did say you're here to see me. Then why is your boss here with you?"
"He just wanted to come with me. I asked him not to but he insisted. That's not the point dad. The point is. . . . ."
Suddenly I didn't know what to say. What had I intended to say to him before? Why was I here? I was suddenly bereft of words.
"Ashley"
I thought of what to say. What do I say to him? Why am I really here? To know how he's doing? Slowly looking up at him,I spoke "why didn't you ever reached out for me, Dad?"
"What are you talking about, Ashley? You stopped taking my calls ever since you started college"
"Still Dad. . . . Anyways,that's not why I'm here. I'm here because I got a call from Drako Black"
"Why is that?"
For someone with a lot of trouble,he looked exceptionally calm. It infuriated me.
"Apparently,you still owe him. Am I gonna tell you everything now dad?"
He looks away thoughtfully.
"Dad. . . ."
"I didn't know what to do anymore Ashley. I didn't want to bother you about it. You told me not to take the money in the first place anyway,so. . . . "
"But I work now,Dad. You could've at least" I stopped talking, knowing that I wasn't go anywhere with the talk "Ric paid him,dad. All of your depts"
He turns to look at me immediately and I gave him a small smile.
"Why would you put him up to that, Ashley?"
"I didn't okay? He literally paid himself. I asked him not to but he did!"
He went quiet for a second before saying "well. . . . You haven't really told me why you're here then"
I sat back,watching him. Wasn't he glad to see me? Did i push him this far? Did he still blame me for mom's death? Even though he never said it to my face,I knew that he blamed me for it. He'd sent me off to the university just to be away from me,even if it costed him a loan that could ruin his life a few years after. Yes,how did I ever think he'd ever want me back?
My throat suddenly felt dried as I sat there,watching him. I tried to moisturize my throat with saliva but I was running out of even that.
Gulping uncomfortably hard,I mustered words and replied "I was. . . . Worried about you,dad. And I wanted to see you"
"As you can see I'm all right, Ashley"
He started to cough. He coughed for a short while, catching my attention. Was he sick. The couch is pretty bad.
"Are you alright dad?"
He started to cough again, pushing me off my chair to run into the kitchen and fetch him a glass of water. He drinks a bit,his cough seeming to subside before he gave back the glass cup.
"Are you alright?" I asked,worried to my spine.
"I'm fine, Ashley"
I didn't believe that he was entirely okay but I nodded my head anyway,taking his words for it.
Sitting back on the chair,I said "I have a few things to take care of tomorrow. I'll be gone after that. You don't need to worry about me staying with you"
Standing up,I grabbed my bag and flung it over one shoulder, attempting to walk out the door when his voice stopped me.
"Ashley, wait"
I stopped, turned around to face him.
"I'm sorry, Ashley. My head's been pretty messed up after you left. "
After mom died. I shut my eyes and opened again. I took a breath in and out, looking for words to speak.
"I'm sorry Dad. We've all been messed up in our own ways "
"I know. And thank you for coming "
I gave him a smile before turning away.
"You're not leaving are you?"
"Yeah , I am. I'm gonna . . . . Check into a hotel"
"But you're home. Your room is still wide enough for you"
I tried to speak but I didn't know exactly what to say. Instead,I gave him a smile before turning towards the short stairs. I stopped mid way and turned back .
"Did you eat, Dad? I could cook your favorite"
He chuckled softly,his back still turned to me. "You still remember my favorite?" His voice is mocking and it warmed my heart in a wired kind of way.
"Poke bowl,dad. I'll never forget that"
He laughed before replying " Okay, Ashley. I haven't had dinner"
I slowly approached my old bedroom, it's door creaking weakly as I pushed the door open. Dad was right,the room was just how I left it. Except it was dust free for a room left six years ago. The blue bedspread brought memories back to me,the yellow wallpapers glistened as I switched on the light. My study table was still occupied with my study lamp,pencils rack,a few papers.
I walked further inside and sat on the soft bed, dropping off my bag.
On the opposite wall held my picture collections,pasted in full display. A few were pictures of my favorite movie characters back in the days,some hot playboy pictures I'd cut off a larger paper,stickers Katie had given me on my birthdays. Following the trail of stickers down,my eyes stopped at the picture frame below,set up on the draw table standing below.
It was a picture of me,my dad and . . . . Mom. She had such light in her eyes. I was eight years old in the picture. We'd taken the picture during one new year. I'd lost a tooth on new year's Eve and couldn't smile in the picture. The thought of that day brought a smile to my face. We were so happy. Why did I have to ruin that?
I shook my head off the thoughts and gathered myself up. I needed to make dad's dinner. I was pretty much hungry too. Was Ric hungry too? I picked up my phone to call him but on a second thought that he could actually be busy settling into the hotel,I put my phone away. I'd left some clothes behind before leaving for college. I didn't wanna get the clothes Ric bought me dirty so I surfed through my old wardrobe to find something that still fits hopefully.
I found my old teenager's jeans and struggled to fit my now larger hips and thighs into it. Then I found an ashes tee which fitted rather baggily before going out to get the food prepared. I busied myself in the kitchen. After cooking it all,I set the table and asked dad to eat.
We sat together,like old times and when he took a bite of the food, he'd smiled and said "You cooked it just like your mother"
I'd given him a small smile,fixing my eyes on my bowl and avoiding eye contact with him the whole time. I kept thinking about what he meant by that. Was that a mere compliment? Or was he implying that I'd killed mom again?
We ate in silence until I finally retired to my room.
The shower helped lessen my anxiety before I climbed into bed. I picked up my phone from the pillow, bearing in mind to call Ric and know how he's doing but instead,I met a missed call from him and a text message.
Ric: hey, Ashley. I called but you seem to be busy. I hope everything went well between you and your dad. Just checking in. Have a good night sleep.
Something about that message made me smile.
I decided calling him back would be the best thing to do. I didn't want this to end in a couple of texts. I dialed his number and he picked up almost immediately.
"Ashley"
His voice seemed to make goosebumps ripple through my neck and I slowly reached over to rub my neck.
"Hi,Ric. Ah. . . . How are you? I just saw your message. Been busy in the kitchen"
"That's okay. I was just checking to make sure everything went well with your dad"
"It did,thank you, " I shut my eyes and grit my teeth, Wondering what to say again "I'm. . . Sorry about earlier. My dad didn't seem so pleased to see you"
"No," he chuckled lightly "I understand his concern. Who wouldn't be concerned if a fine lady like you brings a man with you to their house?"
I looked down on my nails,a smile creeping onto my lips.
"Thanks Ric. . . For doing this. For coming all the way here with me"
"Don't thank me do much. I may decide to leave you here by the end of the day and fly to new York alone"
I laughed shortly "I'll find my way back. Distressfully"
I found myself bitting on my bottom lip as he laughed.
"How are you fitting into your hotel room?"
"Oh it's fine, really. Not much fancy hotels here. "
"Yeah,sorry about that"
"No worries. I'll pick you up tomorrow?"
"Yeah. . . I'm gonna call Drako and ask to meet him"
"Is that really a good idea? I should go with you"
"No,Don't worry,Ric. I can handle this"
"If you say so."
Silence.
"I should probably hang up and call Drako"
"Sure, okay. Do go to bed early okay? It was a long flight here"
"Yes you too"
"Alright. Good night Ashley"
"Good night" I merely gasped. The way he called my name,gave me a different meaning to why he actually said my name as the disconnecting beep sounded in my ears.